For the past 3 years me, my sis, brother and Mom take a vacation at Christmastime.
We all pay for ourselves. My Mom wants to charge the $1300 vacation on her credit card, then she tells me she owes $18,000 on that card and has $4.000 left.. I told her this is crazy she needs the vacation money to pay off her debt not take a vacation.. I cant pay for her since im just of college an making it scarsely on my own with a $55K salary.., my brother makes alot of money but never pays for anyone..he makes $200K my sis is still in college.
My Mom insists we go because my brother will feel bad if we dont go on vacation, I said i think it makes no sense since she owes so much money.. and on vacation you spend money..
Do you agree im right?
2007-12-12 17:15:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I feel shes being unrealistic
2007-12-12 17:16:45 · update #1
I didnt ask about this before.
2007-12-12 17:53:12 · update #2
Your brother making $200K/year needs to go to your mother's house and spend Christmas with her, like it was before he made all that money, which she doesn't have. Sometimes the simple holidays are the best.
2007-12-12 17:27:28 · answer #1 · answered by Another Guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand how going on a family vacation means a lot to your mom and your family; however, what your mom needs to understand, as you've already identified, is that she is in trouble and needs to work on fixing that first. In the big scheme of things, missing 1 vacation isn't going to tear the family apart. However, continuing to let debt build will destroy her and eventually those she loves. So, ask your mom what her plan is to eliminate her debt? Does she even have one? While going on a vacation now may seem nice, what will she do next year, and the next and the next? She has to think about this and maybe seeing the big picture will help her realize that this vacation is not priority right now.
I also want to mention that 18, 000 is a managable amoutn of debt. WIth careful planning and saving she can eliminate this within a year. However, continuing to ignore it and let it bulid can lead to a debt she'll feel she'll never be able to pay off. Then interest increases, she may have to sell her home and so on. Why not deal with it now while it's still under control rather than let it go wild and have to deal with it when it's something like 100 000 or more.
2007-12-12 17:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
To me, it sounds like your mother is more concerned with your brother being disappointed than about the debt.
Perhaps she is confident that she can repay this debt ~ if it is all she owes it is much less than many others who have a mortgage etc.
And, a vacation is important if she is feeling worn out or tired, everyone needs to "recharge the batteries" once in a while.
If, however, she is worried about the debt and only taking the vacation in order to please your brother, you might like to suggest taking a cheaper vacation or doing something relaxing that is closer to home ~ a family 'spa' day, or something similar.
If your brother is her chief concern, perhaps he could talk with her ~ maybe he would like to make a gift to her of this holiday, or would prefer to just spend a few days at home together?
Ultimately however, it is her decision, so after expressing your views and stating your own position, there is nothing more for you to do!
Best wishes and good luck :-)
2007-12-12 18:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by thing55000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Totally agree with you--you have a head on your shoulders there! Your mom is paying at least 300$/month in interest alone with that debt--she is in trouble & needs to work at reducing it. Can you do a cheaper vacation instead? I can't believe your brother would be so self-centered as well to insist you all vacation under these circumstances, so maybe he can convince your mom its OK with him to cut back or skip. But I would look into being really creative & finding a cheaper alternative--maybe even a shorter outting. Happy Holidays!
2007-12-12 17:27:26 · answer #4 · answered by Diane A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you are right; your mother can't afford to go on a vacation right now. Perhaps the three of you could do a more affordable activity near your mother's home. Also, it sounds like your mom is having some financial management issues. Maybe you can support her into getting into some personal finance community education classes.
2007-12-12 17:24:15 · answer #5 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a special time at home. Bring out the home videos and photos. Make decorations and goodies together. Sing Christmas songs and have a Very Merry Christmas. Let Mom know this is what you all want for Christmas, that it is a family time and it doesn't matter where you spend it, as long as it is together with your loved ones.
2007-12-12 17:30:05 · answer #6 · answered by marlene50 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right.
Your mom needs to realize that her son is a grown up with a well paid job, and if he really wants to go on vacation, he can pay for it. She needs to take care of herself instead of putting herself further in debt.
2007-12-12 17:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by cheeryelfchristmas 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you.
But
It's her money and that's how she wants to spend it.
So............go and have fun.
Be grateful you can go on a Vacation.
She won't be around forever so enjoy it while you can.
2007-12-12 17:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by mw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have asked about this before. You and your mother can't afford this trip.
2007-12-12 17:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by freebird 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's her money. But if you're that concerned about it, don't go. It'll be less money she has to dish out.
2007-12-12 17:29:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋