This guy asked me to homecoming this year, and he's great, funny, sweet, etc. but I'm not interested!!
He made a huge deal about homecoming too.. at one of our all highschool assemblies, he got up there and serenaded to me on the piano and then pulled out a bunch of roses and asked me in front of everyone!!!!
But i felt SO bad because I couldnt make it to the dance!!!
Anyways. It's still been really awkward between us because I can tell he still likes me. But I wouldnt mind if he was one of the more outgoing and easy to talk to kind, but he's really shy, and it's just always always awkward.
What's a good way to show that I'm not interested? Because I dont want to be rude to him or anything by cutting him off harshly.. But I dont want to lead him on or anything, just in case he has plans for asking me to something else.
Plus, our highschool has like 300 kids, so everyone knows everyone else, and I dont want to seem like a ***** to someone so sweet!
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2007-12-12 17:03:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wait a minute... he's shy but he serenaded you on the piano at one of your highschool assemblies and then produced roses to you in front of everyone???
You won't want to seem like an *** to somoene because your afraid someone will hear about it... if anyone is shy... it sounds like you are. But don't fret, I'm not saying you should date this guy out of pity, but before you go throwing stones, make sure it's not in a glass house.
Sounds like your dealing with insecurity more than he is... he's taking big risks and leaping far bounds to impress the girl he has feelings for... you at least owe it to him to be honest and let him know that he's making you uncomfortable.
No matter how you say it, he's going to be down about it. But the level of depression is entirely how you present it to him. If you say it harshly, he may go hang himself with piano wire. If you do it tactfully, he may just go home and cry in front of an episode of everybody loves raymond.
If your uncomfortable talking to him face to face, do it in a letter...an e-mail... a phone call. But the boy derserves to know and hear your true feelings.
2007-12-12 17:10:48 · answer #1 · answered by untamed_soul 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow. A "shy" guy serenaded you in front of people? That's impressive.
Anyway, I wouldn't just bring it up out of nowhere. I'd wait until he does something flirty or even asks you out... you can pull him aside and tell him that you think he's a sweetheart and very nice, but you're only interested in him as a friend. That's all that needs to be said... no need to beat around the bush.
If you get the feeling he might try a public stunt again, tell him you need to talk to him and let him know. Make sure you have privacy.
Sounds like he'd make a great friend. I definitely would keep a strong friendship with him... plus, you never know if you'll change your mind down the road. I ended up dating my "friend" for 5 years by the time we hit senior year in high school. He liked me since 10th grade and I never liked him back until I finally decided to give him a chance my senior year. It was a great relationship!
2007-12-13 01:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really see no real attraction or possible romance! It would be alot wiser and polite to end the relationship as soon as possible before he really gets hurt! It seems by what you have explained, that he's probably many girls dream man, and if you have no real romantic interest in him, you shouldn't let him think you doby not facing him and ending it! by not being up front with him and do nothing, well some would think you were a rotten ***** for not saying nothing about how you feel towards him, even though it seems he's maddly in love with you and worship the land you walk on! As you will find out in your life! Those kind of guys are very hard to find! The world is full of players and cheaters!
I do see where you feel like your in a bad spot right now, but It's better to get it over with fast but very polite and honest! Just tell him you just don't feel the same way he does and that your really not looking for a serious relationship and that you feel he's a very nice sweet guy, but you just don't want to hurt his feels by not telling him how you really feel about the whole thing, and it's making you very uncomfortable! and making you feel real guilty!
What ever you do, don't tell him you just want to be friends, guys hate that worse then just dumping them! And I don't think you could be a ***** anyway, you do care about his feelings, or you would have just dumped him real fast or told him off and to leave you alone!
So if you really feel there's just no way possible that there couldn't be a romance relationship between the 2 of you, then you must end his not knowing that as soon as possible!
2007-12-13 01:30:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should give him a chance, he did a lot for you and took a big step especially if he's shy like you say. But if you don't want to maybe you should let him know by just becoming friends and telling him you just want to be friends.
He really does sound like a great guy and you should try to get to know him a little more before making a decision.
2007-12-13 01:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by l o v e l y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here's the thing. In this case you can't afford to be too gentle. If you are too careful he might think he still has a chance and will continue to ask you out. You need to tell him, with a smile on your face, that you don't feel romantic towards him and therefore won't be going on any dates with him. I know it's going to be a bit uncomfortable but it's better than having to deal with him following you around. Do it nicely, but do it!
2007-12-13 01:11:03 · answer #5 · answered by Michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet is to be up front and honest and tell him that right now you not into having a steady but are really looking to hang out with a lot of friends, including him..maybe down the road you might feel different but right now you don't want to be serious with just one guy...
2007-12-13 01:10:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ernie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be straight up with him nicely and tell him how you feel. TEll him your reasons for you not being interested. THere's no other way out. You have to be nice and say the truth or else if you play it off your going to seem like a ***** for not saying anything to his face.
2007-12-13 01:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by Midnight61 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he asks you out again just say "You're a nice guy and I'm sure you'll make someone very happy one day, but I just like you as a friend". If he acts like a jerk afterwards, then I guess he isn't such a nice guy anyway. Good luck.
2007-12-13 01:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say that what he did was really sweet and thoughtful, and you really appreciated it, but that you're not interested in him that way.
You can still be friends with him though! As long as you keep reminding him that you only want to be friends.
Maybe once you get to know him he'll be less shy. I'd say get to know him but make yourself very clear to him that you only like him as a friend.
2007-12-13 01:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by wndlssmgc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take him aside and say, that you think he is very nice but you dont look at him that way that you think of him as a friend and give him a big hug. anyway you put it theres going to be some hurt
2007-12-13 01:09:41 · answer #10 · answered by **kia** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋