What should I do about this girlfriend family situation?(please read!!!)?

Question

here's the situation.Im try my best to make a long story short.

Im 23 and my girl is 20.we been 2gether for a year and 3 months.we live 2gther She had a hard life,mom died when she was young and her father was abusive.She has a godmother though that she considers her mother and her fam.The problem is that her family dont like me(long story behind that) and the house is over crowded.Its basically like almost anybody can walk in and stay there.
Here's the rundown of people who live there,godmother,3 sisters age 20,18 and 15 all got kids.one of the sister's babyfather lives there,a recovering crackhead who is the mother cousin and also her ex boyfriend stays there sometimes.
also her babyfather friend who got of jail even stayed there one nght.
There's more to the story than this but its too much to explain.She goes about once a month.I told her I didnt want her going there too often cuz her ex be there and his freinds be there too.What should I do

Answer 1

You don't have the right to tell her to stay away from her family and no matter what you think of the babies daddy he has a right to see the baby and if you try to prevent you will find yourself alone. It doesn't matter how her family treated her, she has apparently forgiven them and it is not your place to come between them. If you do you will lose in the end.

Answer 2

1) What her godmother does at her house is her own business.

2) You would be unwise to try and stop her visiting her godmother. If you do not want to go, then fine, but do not try to stop her. She has a long relationship with this woman.

3)Whether you like it or not, 15 months is not a long time in her life. Just be there for her and show her that you are really supportive and not another power mad freak. Overtime her respect and truelove for you will grow.

4) If she really is hungering over the ex-boy friend, you are far better off letting it happen and being rid of her, than wasting a few years and just being a tosser. Frankly, if you do not prepared to trust her, then move on and accept it may be your problem.

5) you are not going to win her to you long time by being the same as what she has had. Be cool, supportive, trusting, caring and you will win her long time because you offer a better environment.

Answer 3

There sounds like a lot of problems in her life, and her family's, especially her 15 year old sister who's already pregnant. Thats crazy! If the house is too crowded you could try and get your own place, or maybe stay with your family. I don't know what you could do, but it sounds like shes been hurt a lot in the past, so you shouldn't break her heart. Just be supportive of her and love her, try to get along with her family, and don't cause trouble. But be happy, after all you're still very young! Good Luck!

Answer 4

If you stay away from this family there is not much to worry about. I am not sure what is the real problem here. But I would say just work out your future and become independent enough that you don't need to get much involved in this family and its issues. There are many families like this and somehow they adjust well or just fight it off. Relax and enjoy the time with your girl. Try to forget about this family if it is not bothering you in a direct way. Good luck.

Answer 5

Two dif issues here firstly is it the issue of her seeing her family or the issue of seeing her ex and his friends You dont say so in words but it seems you think her family is not normal, perhaps not normal to yours, have you considered that they may perceive yours as different to theirs. Regardless of this you seem threatened by her visiting there be it because of her family or of the ex. You really want this relationship to work , try accepting her background and trusting her. Once a month is not much, no one said you had to like them but at least tolerate them, they are a part of your girl so if you want her accept them, but establish boundaries how much they have contact with you. Dont dicatate about her family it will only cause problems for you both. As for the ex he seems a threat, why is that because he comes from the same lifestyle as her and accepting of her background, there is more too it and you need to work on your self esteem and trust issues if not for this relationship then for future ones

Answer 6

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Answer 7

This situation sounds awe-full. I wouldn't want my girl anywhere near that house. If I wear you I would establish some ground rules and give her an ultimatum. Either she stays away from there or find someone else. I know its easier said than done and you have been together for a while, but if she keeps going there, it is going to lead to nothing but avoidable trouble. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

Sit your girlfriend down and have a good talk to her tell her you love her not her family they don't like you and your not that keen on them either and that's ok. However she has to decide who is more important and remember your home is not a hostel it's your home yours and hers anyway. Be strong and firm otherwise they are going to be treating you like **** for as long as you and your girlfriend are together and then some. Remember you deserve better even if you are not a nice guy you still deserve better...lol

Answer 9

If you really love her you will talk to her one more time and tell her that you really dont want her going there and that you understand it is family but you are uncomfortable with the situation. But it's her family, crazy as it may be, it's still her only family. You have to respect that and trust that nothing will happen and if she loves you enough then nothing will.

Answer 10

If you don't like her visiting her family, than that is probably just too bad. Don't ask her to choose, cuz one of two things will likely happen. She will choose them and you will be gone, or she will choose you and resent you for it. Also, I know you are in love and all, but dat situation be sounin meest up.