help parent devorce?

Question

my mom cheeted on my dad...and now shes making up alot of lied about my dad (saying that he hits her blaming scratches that she claims come from my dad) and i know right now my mom will do anything to take me and my brother away from my dad because he is a "dangerous man". i really dont want to be with my mom because she called me crazy saying i heard everything wrong when i heard everything she said to the police. she has turned my grandma and my aunt on her side...saying that my dad saw "visions" of my mom and the guy having relations..so now..my mom sent a restraining order..and she wants me and my brother to go live with her..and also wants one of the trucks my dad owns. i really dont want to be with her...im 17..i will be 18 in august..do i have any say in who i want to go with?? my brother is 11...will he??...does it matter if i dont like her and dont want to be with her??? someone please help...im miserable right now..they said if i refuse before the hearing...they will take me

does this all include for california?? like 13 and over its my free will?

Answer 1

I'm sorry for all that's happened to you, that's a rough situation to be in... You should be able to choose who you live with after the divorce though, especially at your age... Other than that, the only thing you can do is speak out against your mother, which is not a situation you should be put in.

Answer 2

i believe its better to let them decide what they should do

since sometimes all those things we cannot control

and you also need to let them know what you feel
you guys need to be calm and talk about it

if you dont want to live with your mom
then you have to go ask your dad probably go to the judge since you will turn 18 very soon so i believe you can probably decide what you want and you just need to let the judge knows

and just stay calm

there is some public organization will help you out to find a lawyer if you need and is free, (if the situation wont change)
anyways

hope you guys will be ok
=( i m sorry
my mom and my dad also divorced when i was little
and now i kind of knowing how come people want to divorce and stuff like that
once they dont love each other and cant take it anymore, then
its hard to keep the relationship to be forever
=(

Answer 3

Here's what I've learned from my husband's disputes with his ex (in the US):

The courts know that people who are divorcing are often bitter, and they will take it with a grain of salt when accusations start flying. If the court is actually convinced that your father is dangerous to you, he's unlikely to get custody no matter what you want, but just because she says he's dangerous doesn't make it so. She has to have some convincing evidence.

In the event of a custody dispute, the court may appoint an advocate for you and your brother called a "guardian at litem" whose job it is to find out what is in your best interests and to protect you - not either of your parents. The older you are, the more they are likely to take your preferences into account in their decision about what is in your interests. At 17, what you prefer is extremely important. If you know for sure what you want, make sure your parents and the guardian ad litem (if there is one) and the judge (if it comes to that) know very clearly what you prefer. You will probably get it. And in the meantime, just live with your dad.

Answer 4

Legally you have the right to speak and say who you want to live with. I however encourage you to speak to your mom the right way Sometimes the children are the ones who do not hear everything that goes on in a marriage. Remember when the bedroom door closes at night you are not in there your mom was and you do not know what she went through. You only know what you heard. I do not know the hole story however try to reason with both parents. Listen to both stories and speak to them before making any serious decisions. Good Luck Divorce is never easy it is always a strain on the kids. Sorry you are going through that.

Answer 5

You have a right to say, and you should. I feel so sad for you. You are old enough to testify, and you should. Your brother may not have a say so on the other hand, but if you testify and tell the truth in court, you better believe they will hear you. They can't take you, that is the defense lawyers for your mom trying to make you do what they want. Hold your ground sweetie, and be honest in court. They will listen to what you have to say. I PROMISE YOU.

You are of legal age to say which parent you want to live with. Believe me.

Answer 6

the judge will ask you who want to live with but if the judge founds your dad a danger then you will go to your mom but then you can get emancipated and go live with your dad. since your brother is 11 he might have to go with your mom, your dad could try for 50/50 custody

Answer 7

Ask to speak for yourself with the judge. Tell the judge that your mother lied about your father and none of its true. Tell the judge you want to live with your father.

Answer 8

if u are 13 or older its your free will not to go
same thing happened to me
if they make you go
complain at court
they'll have to let you go

Answer 9

you can choose who to live with after the dirvoce

Answer 10

help ur poor bro. take some responsibility when ur 18. dont overdo anything tho.