A few days ago I was with my boyfriend and we were walking through the park at night. It was cold and snowing. Then he started talking about how we have been together for a long time and about when we first met. I just laughed when all of a sudden he grabbed my arm and when I turned around he was on one knee! I was confused. I was like what are you doing. Then he pulled out this tiny black box and when he opened it I saw the most beautiful ring. It just sparkled and shimmered. He said I can't see myslef in life with out you being right beside me. I love and no matter how many times I have to say it, I will say it again and again and again. I love you. Will you marry me. I froze! Then I did the most stupidest thing. I said look over there, then I threw a snowball in his face! I think that it is so sweet the way he cares and loves me. But marriage? I wouldn't mind marrying him, but marriage. I do love him alot, I mean come on we've had sex I don't know how many times. What should I do?
2007-12-12 16:12:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am totally confused. On half of me wants to go ahead and get married. Afterall I do truely love him. The other half doesn't want to because it's afraid that something might not go as planned and alot of problems will arise. I am so confused! Advice Help!!!
My Bf turned 18 on Nov 29. I will be 18 in Febuary. Known each other since middle school.
2007-12-12 16:17:44 · update #1
You havent even fully matured yet. You should tell him you love him but youre not ready for marriage. This will tie you down to a life you may not be able to handle yet. Or you could say ok but you want a 5 year engagement.
2007-12-12 16:16:50 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Save yourself for marriage! Your honeymoon will be more sacred and special, and it's another incentive for him to want to get married sooner. I was engaged when I was 17 and got married when I turned 18. I'm glad I did it. If you've been together for that long, you obviously know him really well. I don't think you're going to learn anything new if you stay unmarried for any longer. Why not just go for it now? Just keep in mind that married life sometimes changes some little things (with the level of comfort and the courtship being gone), but that's a given for any marriage at any time.
2016-04-09 00:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Asia..I'm not saying you couldn't be in love at 17, I think I was too once. And I'm not gonna tell you that marrying someone at the age of 18 will definitely fail. Everyone matures differently. What I will tell you is this: life as you see it now will change dramatically in ten years. And then ten years after that, you won't even remember all of what you were feeling at age 17.
I know that's pretty hard to understand right now, but you get the point. You gotta see yourself with this person for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Is he the one?? Not just sexually, but as your friend, your consoler when days aren't so good, your bread-winner to help pay bills, your partner during troubled times, and the one that will understand you the very most when you need your alone time.
It's more than a walk in the park.
Marriage is a walk thru lifetime. For 20 yrs, 30 yrs, 40 and 50.....however long you live.
If you approach it with the idea that "if it doesn't work out--there's always divorce" then why even begin?? What a waste!
Think long and hard.....
and I do have to agree with the guy up there about you throwing a snowball at him-------a mature and ready for marriage female wouldn't have pelted her BF w/a snowball when he opens a box with a sparkling diamond in it. She would have sunk to her knees beside him, held him tight and kissed him with tears in her eyes. And accepted.
There is still alot of little girl in you.....keep it for as long as you can. For the world will cause you to grow up way too fast ------
I think snowball fights are fun....and they should be....but give you and your BF time to have that fun before you dive into "growing up"..........
2007-12-12 16:38:08 · answer #3 · answered by LIzzz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Asia:
What should you do?
(IF I were you) ~ I'd look at this situation
from ALL Possible Angles!
Common Sense Dictates you do NOT
get married anytime soon.
Here is My Personal Top Ten List~
For Considering Marriage:
1) Date 4-6 years to really get to know
a person effectively. *Know Yourself!
2) Don't enter into a Marriage Contract
until one is OVER 25 yrs. old & mature.
(Brains are NOT developed until then)
3) Possess ** "Emotional-Intelligence"!
Controled Behavior! Brain Fitness!
4) Have a Realistic Marketable Job Skill!
This ensures a firm financial Base!
Higher Ed. Degree!
5) Seek out *Pre-Marital Counseling to est.
a Firm Foundation of Communication.
Who, does what & when?
6) Seek out counsel from your Clergy.
What do you Value?
7) Meet with an Attorney for a Pre-Nup.
Have a Will & Your Insurance on file.
8) Utilize BC Methods! NO Babies until
you are over 30 & have Money Banked~
& OWN a House & new car!
9) NEVER live with a Lover!
Establish Independence! Live Separate.
10) Never ** "Live in Disney-Love" ! ***
Live In REALITY & be Mature!
THIS Is Your YOUTH!
Are any of my top 10 items~
*thought provoking?
Good Luck~ Asia
* I'm Throwing a snow-ball at ya~
from the Mountains in Southern Cal
L8er~
LedHead,
Contributor
2007-12-12 16:57:21 · answer #4 · answered by LedHead 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait. You can have a long engagement, if that's what you want, but in my experience, you should wait. Wait until you both mature a little bit. Wait until you have had a chance to experience everything you want to. Wait until you have had a chance to get out in the world. Don't limit yourself at such a young age. You have no idea what you could be missing. You will thank yourself later in life. And what about college and a career? How are you guys going to take care of yourselves? The fact that you threw a snowball at him instead of just honestly answering him, shows your immaturity to handle adult situations and feelings/emotions. You could have just as easily told him that you love him too, but that you think it's a little early to make such a huge commitment, and that you would love to accept his proposal one day, if he's willing to wait for you.
Do you two really know what love is? Not to be mean, but really....have you experienced enough life so far, and had many relationships to gain the knowledge of what true love is? Do you still associate sex with love?
You should just tell him you think you should wait. What on Earth do your parents think? You're only 17!
2007-12-12 16:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not go ahead with this and make the biggest mistake of your life. You're only 17 years old, you have plenty of time left ahead of you. You should at least go to college first if you plan on it. In marriage, you'll have so much more responsibilities that you may not be ready for or may not want to have to do yet. Trust me, and really put some thought into this before you decide. Personally, I'd tell him you're not ready.
P.S. how old is he?
2007-12-12 16:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by fM0 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound cold (no pun intended) but if you're asking if you should marry the guy on Yahoo, then you probably shouldn't.
I'm not that much older than you (about 10 years) but the amount of life lessons that I've learned in that short time is literally 3x the amount I knew when I was 17.
He sounds like a sweet guy but you should cherish it for what it is.......a sweet relationship at 17.
2007-12-12 16:19:15 · answer #7 · answered by David S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Test yourself to see if ur ready. Dont have sex for a week and if you still love him after that (and u both dont tear ur hair out) then it may mean that ur relationship isn't solely run by physical attraction, which is what messes up most relationships in the first place.
That may not be of much help, but it may help out some.
2007-12-12 16:19:21 · answer #8 · answered by johnnycrimson98 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are very young so my first instinct is to remind you of that and say that is reason enough not to get married. Also, there is a fine line between love and deep lust, are you sure you're in love? I say wait, and if you decide you want to, live with him for at least a year first, that way you know what you're up against in the long run.
Best of luck!
2007-12-12 16:17:44 · answer #9 · answered by breathe___x 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first response is usually the right one. I think your gut instinct is screaming at you here hun, and it's saying - I'M TOO YOUNG!!!!!
It is really sweet, and if he truly loves you, he'll wait until you are ready. Whatever you do, do not let yourself be pressured into it!
2007-12-12 16:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋