I lost my hubby who was 36 yrs sudenely due to cardiac arrest, hv a 3yr old son. Dont kow how to cope?

Question

I dont know how to cope up with the loss of my husband, Suddenely he collapsed n he passed away. Till now I am not being able to handle it. Its been 6 months now, m working, keeping myself busy bt when at night am closing my eyes I feel the terrible loss, I get angry on God, myself and as dont know what to do

Answer 1

There is no way I can understand what exactly you're going through. I have had a few tours to the middle east and lost close friends. I have seen their wives and families struggle and help them as much as I can. The main thing is your child and focusing on that. I feel very sorry at your loss. We risk our lives overseas you the people of this country can live life free as they wish. I know this may be no comfort to you now, but the human mind is a very resilent thing and you are very young. In time, while your husband can never be forgotten and will always remain with you, but the pieces of your life will slowly come together and you will see there is a reason for all of this. May god bless you and your family and everyone else who knows you. Right now your friends and family are the most important things in your life.

Answer 2

I'm 17, I've never had a loved one pass away, and I don't know much. But there are things I would like to say.

From what I've seen so far, many married people who have lost their spouses have felt that they don't know how to live anymore - just lost, shocked, despairing.

Then, what happens after several years is that they have turned completely happy with their lives. They discovered that, as the only parent left, they have the responsibility to raise their children. And they feel that their wives/husbands are being proud of them somewhere, for being strong and having lived for their children.

To most parents, their children is their hope, and with that hope they eventually overcome past tragedies.

I am very sorry for your loss and I believe that you will recover, but I must tell you that it won't happen very quickly. Please keep enduring, and some day you will notice that you feel much better.

Answer 3

Bless your heart what a horrible tragedy. I wish I could reach out and hug you. I think the best thing to do is for you to join a support group. I know where I live in Alabama there is a church that offers grief support groups and many of my friends have found that to be very helpful to be able to relate to people who are going through the very same thing or have been through it and can help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know this seems like a horrible hole you cannot climb out of but you can and you will. You have a beautiful son who needs you and loves you very much. You can be there for one another. Yes this is a deep wound yes you need time to grieve. You are just going to have to trust God right now he knows what is best for you even if it does not seem like it now.

You will see your husband again in a better place but for now you have to raise that little boy. Reach out to a counselor or a support group you need support right now while heal your heart and begin to start over. I will be praying for you and your comfort. God Bless

Answer 4

I too lost my husband to a heart attack at a fairly young age. Its hard to cope but you have to for your child. Just keep working and keep busy. It does get easier as time goes by. You don't forget, Its just easier to deal with it. I was a basket case for the first year. You might also try to find a chat group or a support group of people who have been through losing someone. That helped me alot and it gave me someone to talk to who understood what I was feeling.
I'm sorry for your loss. Good Luck and Don't give up. It really does get easier with time.

Answer 5

First off sorry to hear about your husband. I know it is rough to lose someone you love. The best advice I could give you is to talk to people about it, don't worry about crying it is natural and it is better for you to let it out then keep it in. I'm an EMT and know about cardiac arrest so if you ever have any questions about it feel free to ask me I would be happy to answer them for you.

Answer 6

Anger is one of the stages of grief, but if you believe in god, it is implicit in that belief system that there is a reason for it. For grief related depression, go to http://www.mind.org.uk/ and type "grief" in the taskbar, and enter. Call: (U.S.A.) 1800 445 4808, or Hospice (phone book). Email [e-mail] Chatrooms and forums: http://www.chatmag.com/topics/health/grief.html and http://talkingminds.15.forumer.com/ and http://messageboards.ivillage.com/ Other websites: http://www.griefnet.org/ and http://www.helpguide.org/ and http://www.mental-health-abc.com/ and http://www.boblivingstone.com/?q=node30 Understand that there are often several stages of grief.
The stages are:

Denial: The initial stage: "It can't be happening."
Anger: "Why ME? It's not fair?!" (either referring to God, oneself, or anybody perceived, rightly or wrongly, as "responsible")
Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
Depression: "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"
Acceptance: "It's going to be OK."
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss (job, income, freedom). This also includes the death of a loved one and divorce. Kübler-Ross also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.

See http://www.amazon.com/ for books on the various stages. After a while, consider making a photoalbum/scrapbook and/or a shrine, in remembrance, and set aside one day per month on which to reflect. Many religious organisations offer counselling, or you may feel more comfortable with a therapist, to express your thoughts, and feelings. Journalling may help in this. If the depression continues, visit your doctor, and see depression treatments, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris in section 2.
Suggested Resources on Grief and Mourning

Livingstone, B. (2002). Redemption of the Shattered: A Teenager's Healing Journey through Sandtray Therapy, http://www.boblivingstone.com/.

Livingstone, B. (Planned August, 2007). The Body-Mind-Soul Solution: Healing Emotional Pain through Exercise, Pegasus Books.

Simon, S, & Drantell, J. J. (1998). A Music I No Longer Heard: The Early Death of a Parent, Simon and Schuster.

Grollman, E. (1995). Living when a Loved One has Died, Beacon Press.

James, J. W. & Friedman, R. (1998). The Grief Recovery Handbook, Collins.

Worden, J. W. (2001). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional, Springer Publishing. The process needs to be worked through, but keeping busy helps by taking your mind off your situation. Consider volunteering, even from home, as shown in sections 47, and 38, which not only helps them, but you, as well. Later, you could consider volunteering elsewhere, for the company of good people it will provide, and changing your focus to that of other people, some of whom have really huge burdens to carry, although I can appreciate that your own seems quite big enough to you, at present. At least you have a young son, who needs you, and a chance for a good life, when you get through this bad patch.

Answer 7

Don't dwell on it. Give your self time to heal. Hang out with friends.

Answer 8

I'll pray for you. Try reading Psalms in the Bible.