I am a stay at home mom.....I need suggestions..?

Question

Please no rude or dumba** comments....

I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids. (Two are my step-kids, one my own.) Two go to school all day and one is home with me. I have had a lot of life changes happen in the last year, one of them being leaving my full time job and staying at home with the kids.

I have joined online groups and chats, but those are so limited. I don't seem like I am getting enough adult conversation, and just feel lonley. My husband tries to help, and does his best. He's in no way to blame. I love him very much, and hes a great partner.

I suppose I am just here to get some comments and suggestions from other stay at home moms who have gone through this. I need some coping skills and ideas to get the "old me" back. I just don't feel like myself....

Thank you ahead of time! :)

Thank you for all the wonderful support and suggestions! I greatly appreiciate it!

Answer 1

I 100% know what you are going through. I am also a stay at home mom and it can get very lonely. Especially when you don't know any other parents. My husband and I share a car and he ends up taking it to work everyday so I get stuck at home most of the time. I was a full-time worker before becoming a stay at home mom so it hasn't been an easy adjustment to make. I have tried the online mom groups but with no luck. You can try it though. You could have better luck than I had trying to meet moms that way. I love being able to stay home with my daughter but I also would love some adult conversation also lol! Feel free to email me anytime if you want.

Answer 2

OH I HAVE BEEEEN THERE! What you need is some actual face to face adult conversation. I went through this very same thing. I started by going to the gym. Choose one that has a daycare, usually most SAHM's go right after they drop-off their kids at school. You'd be suprised how many other moms you can meet there. (YMCA's are good places to start) You can look online for playgroups that meet once a week, once a month etc. Check local churches for their playgroups, lots of moms attend a playgroup at a church even if they go to a different one. When the weather warms up, you'll meet a lot of people out at the park during school hours. It can be a lot of effort in the beginning, it helps to be outgoing naturally, but sometimes you'll have to start a conversation first to get things going. Its funny, after you make a network of friends, you will find yourself running into SAHM's EVERYWHERE! If you get shot down a couple of times, that's normal, it takes a little time, don't get discouraged. Soon you'll be even better than the "old you", you'll be a "new you" with new friends and hobbies! Good Luck!!

Answer 3

I totally understand you though I do plan to go back to work soon. Really take this time to do all the things you never had time for before. I still won't have completed all the things I planned to do (lol). Suggestions: *Putting together photo albums *Learning to cook all types of things *Look into something you can make and sell at home. Are you artistic? Creative? Baby and wedding related stuff seem to be the things that sell well because these people are pretty busy and willing to pay for something they could make themselves. I will say the stuff is also time consuming (crystalizing cake toppers, decorating aisle runners, making favors, etc) *Learn to sew (which ties in with above. You'll also save money on things you can make) Take pride in you and the things surrounding you. Have a tip top clean house, take care of your body by really getting in shape, organize, learn a foreign language, read the bible, pray (God can fulfill you like nothing else)... Take this time to be the best you that you can be. If there's something you want to share with the world then write about it. Invent something! You will notice so many things at home that you will wish were easier... this is how the most useful things are invented. Pick a subject you never understood (like maybe electricity in my case) and learn it. And lastly, know that you will never look back on this time and regret it. I could be working as an attorney right now but I'm taking this time to spend with my baby. Although I'm losing six figures this year, I refuse to put a price on this wonderful bonding experience with my daughter. Enjoy it.

Answer 4

Check around your community for parent's groups. Many churches have M.O.P.s groups (Mothers of Preschoolers). There may be a play group that meets at a community center. When my kids were young, I took them to a cooperative pre-school, that had a toddler group (the moms stayed with the kids the whole time). Most libraries, and book stores have story time each week. That's another good way to meet other stay-at-home moms. If you're looking for time away from the kids, you could try a book club, or investment club that meets monthly. Your husband could stay with the kids. You could also invite other moms from the neighborhood over for coffee, and possibly a play date. Just reach out. There are lots of moms like you out there. Good luck!

Answer 5

You need to get off the computer and out of the house. "Virtual" friends are not the same as real ones that you can see with your own eyes.

I know it seems as if you'll be stuk in this rut forever (I did it for 10 years) but time will begin to fly before long and you won't get these years back.

Focus on the positive. Can you join a gym that has free childcare? Storytime at the library? If your husband is supportive, he may offer to babysit one night a week while you take a class. (I did painting)

Joining a local Moms club really helped me. If there isn't one in your area, start one.

Good luck!

Answer 6

See if there are tot play groups, gym classes, or swim classes in your area. Take your youngest to the playground at different times of day to see if you run into other Moms. Enroll all the kids in a sport or activity. I met lots of parents that way. Consider helping at school (if the school allows the younger sibling) or joining the older kids in Scouting and helping there. Try eating lunch a couple times a month at a fast food place that had a play yard. Almost anywhere your children can interact with others is a chance for you to interact with other parents.

Answer 7

It is so hard to do the transition but once you get it figured out you will get back to yourself. I have to schedule alone time on the calendar, we schedule a date night for each other. First step is to take care of myself and then my relationship with my husband, and then my children. Sounds cruel but it's true. I started going to MOP's mom's of preschoolers at a local church, joined the ECFE parent child classes so I have scheduled time with my son that can't be interupted and I get time with other moms to discuss topics and concerns and my son gets a little seperation time. It has been just over a year since my son was born and I am just starting to get a grip on things and really have found that I am happier now that I have found these support groups. A moms group is also a great suggestion. I can't wait to see what other people have for suggestions and hopefully I can use them too.

Answer 8

www.meetups.com
I don't know where you live, but in the Philly area there is a very active mom's group at this website. Maybe you could look for one in your area? You could also try the Y. They and some community and fitness centers offer childcare while the moms take a class or workout or whatever. I wish you the best. (I have no kids but also stay at home and I feel very isolated. I'm actually going to a Meetup tomorrow night for artist trading card-makers!) If you're feeling that badly, maybe you could even try therapy. It is possible that you're mildly depressed and therapy isn't just for people who feel as if they're "going off the deep end". Take care.

Answer 9

Have you thought of starting an online business. Sometimes doing that can lead to some great boards to post on which helps to get you connected with other adults.

www.mypowermall.com/Biz/Home/81801

I know that i've posted on several sights to network. Check it out. Feel free to drop me a line. I'm home right now myself with no kids, but only because i'm going back to school 2 days a week and my husband is wonderful enough to buy my books and what nots for school so i can stay home and concentrate on school.

Answer 10

Do you have any hobbies? Art, writing, kniting, etc. Find some other moms out there who have similiar interests. Meet several times a week and have a kniting, art etc circle or book club. So several times a week you all can meet at one's house, bring your kids along. WHile your kids play you all can do what you came to do. YOu all can maybe make some extra money on the side doing this.