It’s always darkest before dawn. So, if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Always remember you’re unique-just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
The things that come to those who wait are what’s left behind by those who got there first.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
If at first you don’t succeed, sky diving is not for you.
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your mouth is moving.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Diplomacy is the art of saying “good doggie” while looking for a bigger stick.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.
The older you get, the better you get, (unless you’re a banana)
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
2007-12-12 13:35:20 · 18 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha ha party puggy is on form!! lol!
:-)))
2007-12-13 09:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by Teejay 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
I loved the one about if you're going to criticize someone xD
2007-12-12 21:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by Bess 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ha ha ha funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
2007-12-14 12:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by Luck dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fantastic!!
I just love how your mind works!! LOL!
2007-12-13 10:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So good to have you again on board mate!
Welcome back!
2007-12-13 00:57:21 · answer #5 · answered by Mind-waster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK show off !! You are still the master of the funny joke!! Glad I'm not a banana!! hahahahahaha!! Thanks for the laugh. â¥
2007-12-12 22:25:42 · answer #6 · answered by Polar Molar 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Excellent lol.
2007-12-13 00:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥Scottish♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ♥Fairy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ha ha ha
2007-12-13 01:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by McCanns are guilty 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
interesting learn alot
2007-12-12 22:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by Esperanza 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it."
How true. Thanks for these! Not only did they make me laugh, they made me think! :)
2007-12-12 21:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by Din-din 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋