My psychotherapist keeps changing appointments at the last minute - should i ditch him?

Question

My therapist seems to be having constant crises, and regularly cancels and reschedules appointments. I then begin my session listening to his latest problems. I am seeing him under the instruction of my doctor following a bereavement, but I have run out of NHS freebies and now have to pay, which I assume gives me the right to change therapists or stop. I think he is being unprofessional, what do you think?

Thanks everone. I have realised I was asking the wrong question. I have felt unable to confide in or relax in front of my therapist.After listening to their trivial dramas, I am supposed to be able to open up and talk - which I can't. I feel he is rubbing my nose in the fact that I am now alone, by wittering on about dinner parties, his children, car troubles, house guests etc. Anyway I am terminating treatment with him. Thanks again.

Answer 1

Occasional lateness is inevitable, genuine crisis on the case load do occur but it sounds like your guy is disorganised. Psychotherapy is a unidirectional conversation, ie for the clients benefit. Occasionally, again, a psychotherapist will do a little bit of self exposure for trust building or illustration, but for the clients benefit, still uni directional, not for the therapist. So yes he is being unprofessional and one does have to wonder how well trained he is. The suggestion of an earlier respondent to get in touch with the BACP for a list of therapists in your area is a good one. You are likely to get a much better therapist and you'll have a professional body to complain to if you don't.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

I think he is too and you should let the doctor who recommended him know and report him to the board. When you tell him you will not be returning, let him know why and tell him he's lucky you don't charge him a 24 hour cancellation fee (as he would you).

Find a female too, you just need someone who is a counselor, experienced in grief counseling and they have sliding scales. You can find them at clinics, they also have groups which are cheaper than one-on-one, and churches also offer counseling usually (sometimes for free). You have many options, check them out.

I am sorry for your loss, but feel you are doing the right thing for yourself to get counseling. Some books that you might want to read are by Kubler-Ross, an expert in the field of death and dying.

Answer 3

Change your therapist. No therapist should be airing their personal drama in your session, on your dime, or on the NHS', for that matter. Completely unprofessional.

Answer 4

Send him a bill!

Seriously, find someone else. You're paying. It's your choice. Actually, even if NHS was footing your bill, I think you still have a choice of whom to see. Now, if you feel better after hearing all his bitching, maybe you'd want to stick with him. I think though, the very fact you asked, you're not happy with him and don't think you're being helped.

Answer 5

Uh, yeah, you should not be listening to his problems, I would tell him too; sounds like a bad therapist to me! Their job is to listen to you and concentrate on you!! They may have too many problems themself! ha. Sounds like THEY need a therapist. That would be a funny way to oust him, say I have the number of a therapist here, sounds like you could use one, might be the jolt they need. Good luck.....

Answer 6

yeah, ditch him. Sounds like he's less stable than you. You go to him for help, not to be his therapist.

Answer 7

Change him!!

You need assistance, not to be assisting; at least not yet, get someone who is recognised by the BACP.

Answer 8

Yes you should. Spend your money on someone worth your time.

Answer 9

If they cant sort their own life out how do you expect them to help sort yours...lol
find a new one...less hassle.
oh and write and complain...i would...but then i am a moaner...lol