i hate my dad so much!?

Question

i know some people will say that they havent got a dad, that i dont know what im talking about, or be thinking that i overeact
but
i dont care. Hes almost impossible to communicate with, hes totally selfish, i mean that everything i say he relates to himself. Its just so annoying, hes so negative about everything that i do, critism everywhere, yeah! u can critise everyone all the time, but is that a good way to live your life?? no!

Its completely exhausting!

because im his daughter, he thinks i dont know anything, im not claiming to know anything, but everything ends up in arguements!!

does anyone else have this problem?? or am i crazy

Answer 1

your dad loves you more than you think

Answer 2

Oh yes, I have had this problem and still do every day. My Father and I did not actually have a real conversation until I was 22 years old. We fought and disagreed all the time. I never do anything right in his eyes and I don't know anything. I am now 24 and he still tries to controll everything that I do.

Now I have learned that this is what some dads do with their daughters. It is not all ways fair but hey we all no that the world isn't fair. I just had to remember that they are always trying to look out for our best interest. Now that doesn't mean that they are right or wrong. It just means that they care. We do nothing right because there is always something in their eyes that we could be doing better. In their eyes they want us to be their perfect creation. No bodies perfect. We are who we are. You need to know that you are who you are and you need to be happy with that. You are going to find your own path in life. You will make mistakes because we all do. Dads just want to try and prevent that. They can't. Just remember that your dad cares and if he didn't then he wouldn't say anything at all to you. I know that it is a pain because it affects your relationship with him. Sooner or later he will learn to realize that you are going to grow up to be who you want. He will love you either way. Dads always do.

You are not CRAZY! Don't let anyone every tell you different.

Answer 3

I think you have got to the stage where you have grown up and your Dad either hasn't noticed or prefers not to notice, you don't mention your age.

This is the way I would go about it.

The first would be to sit down with him somewhere where there will no interruptions and you are both in a calm frame of mind. Say to him (even if you don't really believe it) that he has done a good job raising you and teaching you right from wrong, etc etc. He now needs to have faith in what he has done and let you move on by yourself. Hopefully he will listen to you and take what you have to say on board.

If he doesn't listen, you will need to accept this as the way he is. It is not personal and it is not your fault. Some people are naturally negative and being around them can be soul destroying. You don't mention your Mom, have you tried speaking to her about it? When you do make sure you are not judgemental, remember this is the guy she loves and married. She may be able to have "a word in his ear". Good luck I hope it works out.

Answer 4

Hi Sarah,

Ugggg, I know exactly what you mean. I can't say that I hate my dad because I don't hate we just don't ever see eye to eye and I think for the most part we have accepted that.

I am 26 years old and he is finally learning to pick his battles against me or just not say anything at all.

A few years ago I came home from college for the holidays and he sat me down and told me how uncultured I was and how i needed to read then proceeded to teach me how to read! He walked up to the book shelf picked up a book and said "First you open it and then keep going until you reach the end" I completely lost it at that point. To me it was like a slap in the face. He doesn't know me. He doesn't know who I am. He doesn't know that i can tell him anything he wants to know about any of those books on that massive shelf. I love museums, i love art, languages ( I speak 4) and literature and he doesn't seem to know that. I told him that he didn't know me and that maybe he should try to get to know me before judging me.

I have learned to deal with him, he is ALWAYS having to teach me something. I am a good cook but if i cook for him it "would have been better with sea salt instead of regular salt" or "You should have used the blue plate and not the white one" and whatever it is he will find a way to make it wrong or not good enough.

So don't worry you are not crazy. Dad's just sometimes think they know everything, or feel the need to show us that we still need them to show us the way. I just try I REALLY DO try to let him "show me how" and then I just do whatever i need to do the way i normally do it, Or I'll ask him for his help so he doesn't feel so useless.

I've given up on it. He's not going to change and I just need to be the bigger person. (that doesn't mean he doesn't drive me insane)

Good luck and no you're not crazy.

Answer 5

Yep most teens including myself do have this problem. There is a huge disconnect between the parent and child. I know if I am going to parent I will put myself in the kids shoes and be undestanding.
But at the end of the day he is your Dad and they are trying to do their best so you just gotta cut them some slack, suck it up and deal with it. Its gonna be a love hate relationship..so yea

Draw a reasonable line and dont let him cross it and you shouldnt cross it either..the best way is to compromise or the alternative is to stop talking with him and not have a relationship which isnt very good

Answer 6

When I was about 12-to 15 years old, I thought my parents mom more so than dad were jerks. They didn't know anything, Back then I couldn't stand them, even said I hated them.
Now, I am almost 30 and Wow,, I am so glad I have both of them in my life..I absolutely love my dad to pieces. I am a daddy's girl.
I am sure what ever he is telling you or testing you with, it's because he has been there and done that..
It will get better with age... Trust Me!!!

Answer 7

First, look at why he reacts the way he does to you. I mean, o.k. Give me an example of the communication you both have? When I talk to my kids I hear myself saying oh when I was that age I did it like this, I compare my experiences with theirs. My daughter reminds me that it was 15 years ago and that we don't live in the dinosaur era anymore. We try to each of us get out a feeling about the situation. Both parties get a turn to dish it out and both parties have to listen. You need to ask you dad to please try and listen to you and you will do the same. It's not fun for sure, but at least you both get a chance at voicing your opinions. You have to do this a lot and with time maybe you will see some change. Hate is a strong word and feeling. You don't really hate your dad your just pissed at him.

Answer 8

That is a common problem - you are not alone. Try to see the world through his eyes - perhaps he had a rough childhood or he had a rough time in his early adulthood so now he thinks he knows more than you (and everyone) about how to be successful. You may want to try asking him some questions about him (like what was it like for him in high school/college/etc.). Then, once he feels that you've listened to his perspectives, he will be more receptive to what you are currently doing and you'll be able to justify some of what you want to do by relating it to what he chose to do.

Answer 9

my friend has that problem. Her mom is totally immature and gets mad at her for anything. Her mom blames everything on her and spends every last bit of money so she cant afford to buy my friend pants. The mom bough two $30,000 dollar cars, re did the entire house and buys hundreds of dollars worth of wine every week. Her mom is impossible to communicate with. My friend got really sick and the doctor said one way to make it better was to relieve stress, the best way to do that would be to move in with her dad permanently(her parents are divorced and she switches off where she lives every week) but her mom said no and she wasnt willing to compromise even though it was effecting my friends health. So dont worry, alot of parents are irrational and insensitive and it sucks. Im sorry you have to deal with that

Answer 10

you say you hate your dad but who was there when you feel who was there when you needed clothing on you back and a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in ,,have to thought of all the things that he has done good for you have you thought about what you would do if your dad was not there to hold you when you need a shoulder think about that not haveing a dad is very hard so i think you should sit and get too know him first before hateing him

Answer 11

Omg I feel like you're talking about my dad. Honey, this is just the tip of the ice-burg.. it only gets worse with age. Now that my dad is older he wakes up bi-ching for mo reason at all. Always grouchy and complaining about everything.. its just tiring and frustrating cause you can never do anything right. My advice is to keep your head in the books till you're old enough to get out of your house. Go away for college.. get a good job so you don't have to go back. Trust me. I wish the best for you.. I know how horrible it can be.