After I leave university, I'm considering taking a position where I will be abroad for long stretches of time. I'm 24, have never been on a date, and don't really have any close friends. A lot of other girls are planning their careers around marriage and family. Should I just assume it won't happen for me and plan my life accordingly. I'm very excited about this job and the opportunities it presents
2007-12-12 10:47:08 · 7 answers · asked by Cybele 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
Better to assume nothing. Assumptions are not accurate. You might meet the right person abroad on the job. Assume nothing. Live naturally. Be free.
2007-12-12 11:00:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a great big world out there to experience & new people to meet. Enjoy life while you're young. When you meet the right one you'll know it. Never settle because that's what others are doing.
I have several friends in the 40-60 range that have never been married, date frequently & have a rich life with no regrets. Several were wallflowers when they were younger.
You will grow, learn & change so much as your world broadens. Someone that appeals to you today might not a few yrs. from now.
When & if you have a husband & children in the future it will happen. No need to plan one way or another. Don't miss out on life now for what MIGHT lay in the future. Besides that there are plenty of what ifs in life. The more experienced you are the less it's able to devastate you.
I've known plenty of women like your friends that ended up losing their husband (death or divorce) or he became disabled and were forced to take menial jobs because of having no experience in the marketplace & too many yrs. out of school.
So forget one way or another about family & focus on the opportunity of the moment. Everything else will work out on it's own.
2007-12-12 11:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by syllylou77 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Army is a great way to kick start your adult life - but only if you're okay with being separated from your family for extended periods of time. When my hubby joined, we were living in a town where jobs were scarce, and we both drove over an hour 1 way to get to a profitable job. The Army provided a sizable incentive for him to join, but only because he had 3 years of college and scored very high on the entry/placement exam. He served 6 years active duty, and is now in the Reserves. The G.I. Bill is paying for his Masters and part of his Doctorate degrees, and for that we are very grateful. Out of the 6 years he was in, we were separated off and on for 3. It's hard, but if it's the only way you can further your education I say go for it. My father retired after 23 years, then went on the retire from a Federal job after 20 years -- the knowledge and benefits you earn are truly priceless! As far as the statement made above about welfare money, my husband was an E-6 and made $30,000+ per year. I guess it's all relative. I wish you well!!!
2016-05-23 07:07:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step one should be accepting a position for which you are well-qualified with a company that can also offer you real opportunities for meaningful advancement over time. Step two should be realizing that companies consist of social hierarchies and you will need to acquire the interest and skills to negotiate your way through them or very likely suffer the consequences of missed opportunities and promotions.
I don't know why you have no close friends. Some people cultivate friendships more easily than others, but I have never met someone who didn't have the support of his/her family or friends. There are striking parallels between successful people and their support networks, which I believe help foster confidence and self-esteem, and you might care to give that greater consideration someday.
Lastly, it's never too late to date. Don't dwell on what you haven't done, but do take the fact that you haven't dated and make that a personal challenge. It's easier to date if you have friends to help you meet people in comfortable surroundings, but you don't have that going for you. So join some activity groups like a hiking or bicycling club, or a reading group, or a supper club, or whatever else might interest you. You might be pleasantly surprised to find one or more members whom you are attracted to and they you over time. If so, you will have an opportunity to date, which is where you have to begin if you ever want to be in position to contemplate a long-term relationship or marriage.
Good luck with everything in your life.
2007-12-12 11:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by TK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a great opportunity to do something others only dream of.
The position you speak of is here and now.Don't turn it down waiting for something that isn't.
You are very young and there is plenty of time to make friends or find that special someone.In the meantime find out who you are and exactly what you can do.To know yourself can only help you be better in a relationship WHEN it does happen.
Life is short.Don't sit around and wait for it to come to you for in doing so you will miss much.Don't measure yourself according to other people, because we all have our own stories that make us tic.
What is good for them is not necessarily good for you.
Now get on your horse and ride!!!
Plenty of people never get married and are completely happy.
Because you are not coupled does not mean you need therapy as another answerer implied.
2007-12-12 11:09:53 · answer #5 · answered by kclifer 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your not ready to commit to getting Married or Having children just yet then wait, If your that excited about a new job then it seems like you just looking forward to your career and your own happiness... Dont worry, you will have the experience everyone else is having, just a little later in time...
Who knows, maybe you will meet a guy at this new job and your mind will totally change. Its not in need to be in a huge rush to get married unless you know you have found the right guy. If you havent met him yet, then just give it time :)
2007-12-12 10:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by daniandbebe08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for the job but don't assume that "it won't happen for you"!!
Enjoy your career, but maybe you need to see a therapist to help you find why you don't have any close friends or a husband... your life will be so much more fulfilling if you have both your career AND a family!
Try match.com or a similar dating site - I met my husband online (and in the year it took before I met him, I went on about 100 coffee dates!)
2007-12-12 11:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by Shana B 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋