my friends keep telling me that they want me to get a boyfriend but i told them thats not my main priority right now because i have seen how much they have gotten hurt.but sometimes i think to my self should i .should i go up to him and ask him are should i wait for him to come up to me???
2007-12-12 10:35:05 · 24 answers · asked by luoontoonyh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You do what you want; not what your friends want.
2007-12-12 10:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a dad, and this is the advice I gave my daughter. I think it's good from the standpoint of a dad, and as a former guy who had one thing on his mind when I was looking for a girlfriend.
Relationships with people are like relationships with cars. Some people don't have cars, and they're cool with that. Some people don't have cars, and they think they need one. So until you get one, if you really need a car for the day or so, you could just borrow one from somebody. Of course, since it's not yours, you don't really have a lot of respect for it, and while you really don't want anything to happen to it, you don't really want to have lasting responsiblity for it either. This is like a booty call, not really something I'd recommend.
Some people want a little more committment than that. So they'll rent a car for the weekend, or even for the full week if they need it. They treat it a little more respectfully (after all, there's a little bit of money involved in this relationship) and it's cool to show off to your friends in the beginning, but after awhile, you start realizing that it costs so much more than if you just went ahead and bought the car from the beginning. And even though you signed a contract, all you gotta do is take it back to the rental company and say, "Okay, I'm done," and your relationship is over. Ultimately, even though you're paying for it (short term), IT'S NOT YOUR CAR, so people still don't really treat it the way that they would if they knew that they were going to keep it for the rest of their lives - or even for the rest of the month. This is like going steady.
Some people want to lease a car. That means you put a whole lot of money down up front, and you agree to keep the car for a specific period of time. You pay for the basic maintenance and upkeep, and you keep it with you on a consistent basis, but for major malfunctions, you can still take it back to the dealer. They can either fix it, show you how to live with it, or maybe even steer you to another model. Because of the more serious contract, people usually stick with it longer, and when the time comes to upgrade, people usually have more of an emotional investment, and some even end up buying it, but ultimately, IT'S STILL NOT YOUR CAR. Pretend all you want, it's still not your car. This is like living with someone. Shacking up, they called it in my day.
Some people just bite the bullet and buy the doggone car. Now, some people get all excited and buy the first car that comes around. Some people buy a car that looks good, but doesn't really have a lot under the hood, or is built to last. Some people buy a car that seems like the price is right, only to find that it's really high maintenance. And some people wait until they find the car that exactly fits their needs and their personalities. The first people are doomed for a bad relationship, and may have to find that, painful as it is, getting rid of the car is their only option. The last scenario leads to a warm and happy life together until you or the car just can't make it anymore. This, my friend is marriage.
Okay, bottom line. I recommend waiting until you're ready to buy the car. HOWEVER, every time you take the car off the lot for a test drive, EVEN IF IT'S ONLY AROUND THE BLOCK, you depreciate the value of the car. (This is true. Ask any car dealer, and they'll tell you that.) This works with people as well. Any time you go on a date, that taints your value to the guy that's eventually going to end up marrying you. So why bother? Just because your friends say so? Get straight with yourself, your family, your grades, your God, and your space, and know that WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, the right car (man) is going to come around. I promise you. They haven't stopped making cars since they were invented. They haven't stopped making potential husbands either.
Good luck to you.
2007-12-12 10:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by professormudo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to me it sounds that u need to make a big decision. if i were u, i would go up to him, take a deep breath and then say, whatever u want to say to him. i hav seen my bff's get hurt a lot and i don't want that to happen to me. but i would still ask him if i were u because evn if he does break ur heart, there are always others, waiting. besides, juist think, HIS LOSS!!!! just be positive and confiendt. if he doesn't hurt u , u've found Mr. Right Guy. If he asks u before that, just think do i want to or do i just want to stay with the friends for a while. dont immediatly say YES or NO WAY MY FRIEND but say something like, sure or sorry im just hanging with my friends for a while.
Hope this helps
P.S. tell me how it goes!!
2007-12-12 10:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by helenmelon;<3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there. Your friends should listing 2 what u want n stop telling u what u should do. When the time is right n that u are ready then be with some1. Tell then, there is no harm getting 2 know some1 n is he is a nice guy he would not hurt u because no 1 should be hurt. Good luck :)
2007-12-12 10:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by NQ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush things
Wait till the time you think is right. Like you just said it's not your priority right now. So just let things come on their own only because friends say to do that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do.. So pretty much just wait till you are ready.
Good luck.
2007-12-12 10:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by `_LAYLUUH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you. Maybe educate your friends on the terms open dating or casual dating.
You do not have to be own by a 'boy friend' in order to go out and have a good time. You are allowed to date more than one fellow at a time, if you wish to date at all.
Exclusive dating should be done with a person you are interested in marrying, WHEN you are ready to marry. Your smart enough to know your not ready. Be free and Be smart.
2007-12-12 10:42:09 · answer #6 · answered by rustyoldma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well go back to English class and learn a bit more about sentence structure then if you want a boy friend it will probably not be difficult. You did not tell you age so be careful and don't let a bf/gf thing get serious too quickly. If you don't want a bf right now then that is YOUR choice to make. Good Luck!
Merry Christmas
2007-12-12 10:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
whe the time is right for you to be with someone it will happen...
you wont even be expecting it..
but than you see him and he sees you and it will just click.
tell your friends it shouldnt really be all that important.
if you are content and happy without a boyfriend dont go looking for a boyfriend..
not only that..but ive seen alot of people get discouraged and ...depressed because they go looking for a boyfriend...
the reason why is...
when you are looking for someone...you realize how limited your choices are.
you get more lonely and it just gets rediculous.
so id say...
just wait for it.ya know?
itll happen eventually.
if you have your eye on a guy..
FLIRT!
lol
if he flirts back...than awesome!
lol
2007-12-12 10:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by jacqi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if yur worried about being hurt, dont. Everyone gets hurt one way or another. I was in love with my ex once. she destroyed my heart. I was as low as ive ever been for about 6months after that. Now, we're as best of freinds as we could ever be. Looking back i wouldnt change a thing. I mean... once you experience what a realationship can be you wont be as afraid to get hurt. Having someone like a b/f, g/f etc. is probably the greatest feeling in the world (in my opionion).
In short, go for it!!!
2007-12-12 10:42:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get a bf unless you want to, and your ready. who rules your life you or your friends?
If there is a guy that you like go up to him and get it over and done with, life is too short. He'll have either two things to say yes or no, none of them are that hurtful.
if he says no look for your next prey! LOL
2007-12-12 10:40:28 · answer #10 · answered by justme 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into it just because your friends do.
I admit I havent had a boyfriend for some time and I'm ready for another relationship, so I'm going to find a boyfriend on my own time because I'm ready.
If you're ready, find boyfriend, if your not, don't.
2007-12-12 10:38:52 · answer #11 · answered by DdNotre 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋