So i have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I am completely in love. I have never felt this way or have cared about someone so much in my entire life!!!!! We are going to move in together at the end of this coming may. But i am starting to have doubts. See...about five months ago, my boyfriend became kinda depressed...well actually very depressed, and he started yelling at me, which he had never done before. I took it as he was just taking his stress out on me, and i just let him yell at me, then a few weeks later he was over it. Then about three months ago he starts yelling at me, only this time saying such hurtful things like he hates me,and things i can't talk about, etc. Sometimes he scares me really bad when he yells becasue he hits and breaks things or throws things around me. Once, he even said he was afraid he would hurt me, because he can't really control himself when he gets so angry. Even though he has never hit me, is this still abuse??
2007-12-12 09:16:32 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yep, that sounds like abuse. It sounds as though he needs help with the issues in his life, but that doesn't mean either of you should side-step the main thing: this IS abuse. I wish you both well in dealing with this.
2007-12-12 09:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by mr_charm_offensive 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. it's called emotional abuse. no matter what's going on at work or school, he has NO RIGHT to yell and say such awful things that you can't even post them on the internet. people in these kinds of relationships usually end up dead because they try to escape when it's too late. be careful, and definitely DON'T MOVE IN WITH HIM. once you're living together, it's harder to leave and the abuse usually escalates to the physical and even sexual. i know you love him, and that's when these things hurt even more. but staying in the relationship like this just proves how weak you are. be strong, you're a women, we give birth for god's sake! make your choice wisely so you don't become another statistic. good luck. god bless. much love.
2007-12-12 09:26:06 · answer #2 · answered by chiquis514 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he's calling you hurtful, degrading names, yes, it is EMOTIONAL abuse, which more times than not, leads to Physical abuse. They are both equally as bad, because either one will eventually take it's toll on your self-image and esteem.
If he's worried that he's gonna put his hands on you one day, you should be too.
If you two really love each other, he may need some counceling/anger management courses BEFORE you move in together. Trust me honey, if it's like you say now and you two don't even live together.. imagine how it will be when you do. You don't truly KNOW a person until you live with them. Talk to him a counseling, otherwise, it's in your best interest to leave.
2007-12-12 09:22:37 · answer #3 · answered by .sincerious. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend says he can't control himself. Well, if he can't, then no one else can either. I know it might hurt, but you need to let him go, and tell him that he needs to find out HOW to control himself, before you two can be together. Then wait and see if he makes any effort. Don't wait around till something bad happens. Believe me, there are other people around who are just as lovable, and who know how to control themselves.
On another note,...are you sure you are not pushing any of his buttons with what you do or say? Some introspection might help you find out if you have been contributing to that behaviour.
In any case, it is probably best for both of you if you are not around each other....at least not very often...might give you both a chance to think.
2007-12-12 09:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Babak Kaveh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need you really think about this and decide if you are putting up with this `Abuse' because you love him or if you just don't want to be Alone. My advice is that you can do a lot better, whatever his reasons are. Don't let anyone treat you that way, ever! Dump him, but have the cops there when you do it. Don't take a chance with this guy you might not live to regret it.
2007-12-12 09:29:57 · answer #5 · answered by goalaska 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would call it abuse. But he is not doing anything intentional so I don't really think that the police should get involved. But get him some help though, medicine maybe, a really good anti depressant because some make depression worsen. But get him help because you deeply care about this man and if you love him, you should move in together. Wait until he gets help, so it is safe and that you aren't in risk of anything heppening.
Hope things get better
Mia
2007-12-12 09:26:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is abuse and YES he can control it he just chooses not to and their is a big difference. He needs to go to anger management classes. He told you about hurting you because this is the next step. Since you are still with him you have given him the 'go ahead' to physically abuse him. I understand what it is to be in love with an abusive person but you really need to love yourself more and get out of this relationship.
2007-12-12 09:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a freak with anger issues
my friend date this guy who would cuss her out everyday and stuff and well i made her get out of the relationship with him
and now she is a whole lot happier
and NO GUY should ever take his stress out on you when he's mad
he should be able to Control it
and if he cant you should leave him
Sorry but he may end up hurtin you
and the person that you love shouldnt hurt you or abuse you
2007-12-12 09:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by liz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely on the road to bad things. He is starting to show a pattern that will only get worse with time.
I know you think you are in love, but I bet you are pretty young. This experience will help you grow and be a better person when you do find that TRUE, special someone.
Leave this guy, NOW. He will only bring you pain and trouble.
2007-12-12 09:21:30 · answer #9 · answered by STPabroad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest hun it sounds like he has a substancw abuse problem , that will cause the mood swings and uncontrolable temper and things of that nature .
Dont move in together yet , I would step back and wait for a lil while girl an just see what he does . But dont put your self in a situation that you will get hurt in .
2007-12-12 09:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes this is abuse, actually this is progressinve abuse, if i were you i would get out of that relationship or get him help, he seems to have some serious anger control issues and if he says he cant control himself when mad and is afraid he will hurt you, yeah that is a problem right there, get him some counseling and if i were you i would take a break from him till he straightens himself out, cause i can only see one thing in your future girl and that is a body bag
good luck
2007-12-12 09:22:04 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋