How do you feel about the quality of the wedding and reception, the cost and the gifts received? Does it even matter to you now?
2007-12-12 07:46:53 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm thinking about a small wedding with about 50 people and a small reception with no DJ , just food and cake, (more like a family gathering). Does this increase the quality while decreasing the cost? or do you feel like you missed out on your chance to have a "dream wedding"?
2007-12-12 07:54:17 · update #1
We had a small wedding - 58 people. It was exactly what we wanted and wouldn't have done anything differently. We had a live band and the reception was basically a 5 hours cocktail party. People told me if we invited more people, we'd get more gifts. The gifts didn't matter to us. We wanted only our family and closest friends at the wedding. We also wanted to enjoy ourselves and not have to worry about remembering people's names that we hadn't seen in ages. We had a blast!
2007-12-12 07:52:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I hate to seem like the "grumpy" answer, but I don't think there is such a thing as a "big, dream" wedding except on TV. You either use your money wisely to provide hospitality for your guests or you waste money on stuff you barely get to see. Ask any married person and they will tell you-- the ceremony flashes by in what feels like 3 minutes, then you are pulled left and right by guests at the reception where you hardly have time to eat three bites of food. Then, you'll probably spend a week on a honeymoon where the last thing you'll want to do is worry about the budget. Once you get home, unless you are already well established (i.e. not a young couple) the next few months to the next few years will be a big financial adjustment.
I had a wedding about the size you described and I don't regret it one bit. I barely saw much of it, we were so busy! However, the food (that which I had time to eat) was really good, the music was lovely and the pictures were nice. Not to mention, it was so special to spend that time with my family and friends-- that was the best part. If I had been given a bigger budget, to be honest, I would probably use it to help friends who couldn't make it because of travel issues come to the wedding. That would mean more to me than a bigger reception, a band, and so on......if I have any regrets at all, it's that various circumstances (I have friends that live overseas) didn't allow everyone to travel to attend.
2007-12-13 01:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by jc 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi Holly and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
I just LOVE small weddings!
Small = intimate
Small = less stress
Small = less money!
Why would the quality of the wedding and reception and the quality of the gifts received be any different from a small wedding to a big wedding? They won't. The people that YOU care about and care about YOU will give you the kind of gift they want regardless of how many people are invited.
Also....why would you think a small wedding can't be a "dream wedding?"
It's the bridal industry that is trying to tell the bride (and groom!) that you HAVE to have this and you HAVE to have that....otherwise it will not be a "special day." That is all a bunch of crap...and is only intended for one purpose...to line someone else's pockets!
I love small weddings. They are so much more intimate. The bride and groom seem more relaxed, and like you said...it's more of a "family gathering" rather than entertaining all your co-workers, neighbors, friends of your parents, etc.
Because a small wedding will save you tons of money....that money can go to possibly having nicer centerpieces....more or better food....or to your honeymoon!
I say have your DREAM SMALL WEDDING! You will NOT regret it! Good luck!
2007-12-12 16:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I had 45 people, I knew and loved all of them and my groom and I were able to spend time with each guest. I have no regrets at all about doing it that way, we did not want to have a room full of strangers just to bump the number up, we spent a lot of money on decent food for our guests as we felt that important, to feed them well and offer quality rather than quantity. The total cost of the wedding was about £2000, which was within our budget, we did not register as we had lived together for nearly 3 years anyway and had everything we wanted anyway, we got some lovely thoughtful gifts from some of the guests but the gifts were not why we got married. I have never regretted having a small wedding, it was perfect for us.
2007-12-13 04:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How small? WE had a small(about 125 people) outdoor wedding and it was a blast. Never regreted it in anyway. As far as cost goes it depends on what you want to eat, the type of music(dj or live band), where you want thereception to be, open bar, (we had 3 types of beer and 3 signature drinks) which is a fairly inexpensive way to go when it comes to the booze. Gifts were good too. We recieved back more than we put into the wedding so it was fine.
2007-12-12 15:56:20 · answer #5 · answered by puglyparker 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I very much regret not doing the wedding with all the bells and whistles. While my wedding was very formal and elegant, as time has gone on I have really regretted not having the cheesy wedding that you see on all the tv shows.
I had 54 people at mine, 11:30 am, wine and champagne reception afterwards with passed appi's, cheese and fruit table, beautiful cake, and butlered mini desserts, seated pianist, but I missed alot of things about a traditional wedding. The cost in total from soup to nuts was $15K (but we were in NYC, hence the large cost) We made out quite well in gifts, but didnt come close to what was spent. Does it matter to me now, yes, because I look back on my wedding day very sadly and so does my husband. We both kind of agree that really the only good thing about our day was that we actually got married, and in the end, thats the most important thing, but the 22 year old inside me rears her head every once in a while to look back on the day and wonder how awesome it could have been.
Our remedy though is that we are planning a huge party for our 10th anniversary next year to kind of re-do the reception with how we would have wanted to do it the first time.
2007-12-12 16:09:48 · answer #6 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
We had a small wedding in April of this year. We invited about 70 people and had about 45(including hubby and I) attend (some of the invites went to out of state family we knew would not want to come down). I don't regret it at all, I really wanted to spend at least a few minutes talking to and acknowledging each of my guests, being comfortable around those i know and love really helped me relax and enjoy the wedding rather than feeling like I had to put on a show of perfection for extended family I didn't know very well. Almost half the guest list stopped by the reception site at various stages of prep to help set up or see if they could pick up anything we needed last minute.
I'm not sure how costs would play out if you were hiring all services, but with a smaller guest list it is much more manageable to DIY, which also saves cost. We had a garden theme, The wedding was held on the same property as the reception at their garden gazebo and we used flowering potted plants with a nicely wrapped base as our center pieces during the indoor reception. My stepfather is a former restaurant cook and his brother still is, so with my mom helping on prep the three of them cooked the buffet style dinner in the onsite kitchen before the ceremony. His father and aunt rotated as oncall bartender. His other aunt is the head cake decorator at the bakery she works for, so she made a beatiful wedding cake. My bridesmaids and I decorated, his groomsmen watched the stereo system we played a mix tape on for dancing, one of the ushers controlled the cd with the ceremony music. No one was a stranger so we did not have to worry about a seating chart, everyone sat themselves. My parents put about $300 into food they then prepared and his parents put about the same into alcohol (including full bar, assortment of beers and champagne toast). Site rental (including tables, chairs inside and out, all day use of facilities(to cook onsite and such) gazebo rental and linens) ran about $900. The cake was a wedding gift. Photographer was a friend from college who only charged his cost to print and we got to keep all negatives. I did not have a florist - the ceremony was in a garden, indoors I used potted plants and the bouquets and buttoneers were artificially that I did myself (plants and artifically totalled about $100). With all our savings on other costs I was able to splurge a little on my dress ($500) and on getting personalized match books and napkins (the napkins really tied the place settings together and the matches were incorporated into the favors). With family all pitching in everyone really felt like they were able to be a part of our special day. Almost everyone who attended agreed they enjoyed themselves more than any other wedding they had ever been to. I wouldn't change the lasting sense of genuine happiness that our friends and family show whenever someone mentions our wedding for anything.
2007-12-13 01:43:58 · answer #7 · answered by lisa r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st wedding - 18 guests and dinner at home; 2nd wedding - eloped in Vegas; 3rd wedding - an informal family and friends affair with a backyard BBQ in place of a reception. I just never had the desire to have a big wedding; I don't feel like I "missed out" on anything - except, perhaps, a lot of stress. If I were (hypothetically) to get married again, I would probably do it on a cruise - but I'm hoping I'll never have to worry about another wedding again. :)
2007-12-12 18:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I had the best wedding ever! It was my husband and I in Maui Hawaii. On the beach on a Friday morning at sunrise. My parents set a budget for us (not a small one), and said we could do what we wanted to. Immediate family was invited (not necessarily encouraged to come though), but none came. They decided to throw us a return party w/ gifts (their money). It was nice, because the wedding was so intimate, no stress... no crisis, melting cakes, broken zippers or anything like that. We put the $ as a down payment on the house and are living happily ever after (4 years later). :) Do not regret a thing!!!!
2007-12-12 17:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by lovemydobe 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My wedding is going to be very minimal. Plenty of people (around 300) but all of them are close friends and family. People who are near and dear to our hearts. The most expensive thing I have paid for so far is the rental of the reception hall and my dress. And both of those were still under 1000. How much you spend on a wedding is not what makes it special, its the fact that you are marrying the love of your life.
2007-12-12 17:00:48 · answer #10 · answered by bella_babe_86 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋