I was at my fiancé’s birthday party this last weekend and his whole family and friend were over for dinner and cake. Usually when his family comes over, his sister in law (brother’s wife) comes over and they have three girls, 14, 6, and 18 month.
When my fiancé’s brother and wife are over, they never watch the 18 month who gets into everything. Usually my fiancé, I, or my future mother in law is watching her, making sure she doesn’t climb up the stairs, get into the cupboards etc. while her parents are relaxing and drinking beer. My future mother in law watches the 6 year old and the 18 month for free during the week. I decided to try and not watch the child one time when they were over, and no one else was there that would watch her and she got all the way to the second story, because her mother wasn’t watching her. And whenever her mom and I are in the same room, she would rather come to me because I play with her instead of watching TV and drinking beer while the baby gets into everything. I don’t yell at the baby like her mother does and I don’t spank her like her mother does (which is dumb because an 18 month old doesn’t understand). The baby hasn’t had her shots which she can get from a clinic for little to no money, but they would rather buy beer (they go through a couple cases a week for two of them).
Now all of this being said, I was watching the baby and playing with her, and we were surrounding the table with snacks. Everyone in the family has given her salsa or chili before, so I though I would let her try it because I was eating it and she wanted some. She tried a tiny bit and liked it and wanted more, so I gave her a little more (about the size of my pinky nail). She started to turn red, so I went to get her a bottle with milk…no big deal right? I took care of it and I wasn’t going to do it again. He mom freaked out and started saying thinks like “well I don’t give chili to a baby”, “you’re trying to kill my child”, “she’s going to be in pain when she poops is out later” etc. I wanted to yell at her, but I have enough respect to keep my mouth quiet when company is over…but she just keeps going on.
I understand why she was upset, but she didn’t let it go for the rest of the night. I would have been upset, but I would have let it go and not make the person who takes care of my child while I’m having a good time feel uncomfortable.
If you were that child’s mother how would you have reacted?
And do you think the mother is being ridiculous or me?
2007-12-12 07:03:27 · 7 answers · asked by tightest embrace 0:) 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thank you all for your answers, and just to clairify, it isn't my house it was the inlaw's house. the place is child proof, but she's so smart she gets into everything. She climbs over the gates too so we figure it's safer to leave them down so she doesn't hurt herself climbing them (when on the stairs), we put gates up on the ground level and it delays time for her to get out of her play area.
2007-12-12 08:06:39 · update #1
The child's mother is an ingrate! What a shame, she should not gone off about it like that. If she is so picky why wasn't she feeding the child herself?
2007-12-12 07:10:30 · answer #1 · answered by Maria b 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1. I would not have reacted at all because I would be watching my own kids and not put myself or my child in that situation.
2. Out of all the people at the party you took it upon yourself to
watch this child that is not a blood relative to you.
I think it's odd the parents don't care, the grandparents are not interested, and the rest of the family goes on about there business.
Why was this your responsibility and since you are engaged I would rethink marring into this family. What you see is what you get.
2007-12-13 06:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes I think its ridiculous, but parents like you have described are the first ones to make a scene, it makes them feel like they are being a good parent. If I were you I would child proof my cabinets and buy a child gate to put at the bottom of the stairs and the next time they are over tell both parents, I have taken precautions to keep your children safe but if something happens due to your negligence I will not be held responsible. then as hard as it may be do not take care of the child. Seems to me like someone needs to learn to be parents! I have children myself so I know this sounds cruel and will be very hard, but as long as you do it for them they will never take care of their children. Good luck and I pray for the babies sake that some changes are made by her parents.
2007-12-12 07:17:14 · answer #3 · answered by firegirl0514 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should call her and tell her that you understand her reaction but that you don't think it was necessary. Then tell her how you feel that the baby is in more danger when she is left completely unsupervised while they come visit you and that she shouldn't assume that you are going to assume the role of 'babysitter' whenever they come over. Also you should mention how her going on and on about the chili was not only embarrassing but completely imature as she could have simply spoken to you privately about the matter in another room instead of making a spectacle of herself.
2007-12-12 07:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Christy V 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF she has sampled those things before you had no reason to not think it was okay. The mother absolutely had no right to act that way especially considering her normal bad behavior as a parent. Sounds like both parents are neglectful alcoholics. More to the point- It's your fiance's family and he should be the one to point out to them that it wasn't intentional on your part and she overreacted and owes you an apology.
2007-12-12 07:17:39 · answer #5 · answered by Teresa H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there is just one concern including your twisted good judgment. a toddler isn't a marketable commodity which you're taking or go away on your " very own appropriate pastime " it fairly is a conceivable human existence. you're well-known of the self based approach that is inflicting the ethical declining loose fall our society is experiencing precise now. that is not approximately whats handy for you or on your individual appropriate pastime buddy, that is approximately what's morally and ethically in simple terms, and murdering toddler isn't basically. God bless.
2016-11-03 01:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by chatan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was the mother of the child i would not have said that you were trying to kill the baby...and i would have asked you to explain and not be all dramatic about it.....but then again i would have been a little mad bc you did do it again....but at least you don't hit her or anything like that....i would have been reasonable about the whole thing. and yes i do think that her mother was being rediculous.
2007-12-12 07:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Hottie 101 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋