I'm just so ANGRY!?

Question

I am always so angry at home. At school I never lose my temper or get into slanging matches etc but at home my brothers and sisters and even parents just drive me up the wall. Sometimes I just can't hold back and feel the need to hit something and scream until all the anger is out of me. But that doesn't work, because I am still angry.

Please help me control my anger without all the 1, 2, 3 counting stuff. Sometime I feel like I'm about to explode.

Thankyou.

PS: I do not have my period. =)

Answer 1

There is a reason you are angry even if you aren't conciously aware of what it is. Try to think about it and analyze it so that you can find the root cause.

In the meantime find something constructive to do with all that energy. Running or working out has been a great way to release anger when nothing else worked. In reality all you have to do is find a safe space and way for you to express yourself. A place for you to feel your anger to it's fullest without acting on it. Once you embrace it as a natural part of you will know that it has now power over your actions.

Answer 2

I'm not sure if this will help you, but it might if you give it a chance.

Here are a few methods you could try:

Method 1) Ask yourself: What exactly makes you so angry when you're with your family? Is it really what they're doing, or is it because you don't have enough patience. Take a deep breath before you come home from school, and just say to yourself "This is another day, perhaps today they will be kind, and they will not upset me. Today I will try and have patience with them." As it is a new day, no one is ever the same, including your family. It's possible that they've angered you many times that you have a slight resentment towards them, and the memory "I am angry at them" even if you really aren't angry at them to begin with.

However, if they do something that you find to be stressful and angry, sit them down and have a chat. Talk about how you feel, and how they're making you feel and ask if they can be kinder to you. I would reccomend doing this to your parents first, just to see what they say. I'm sure they'll listen, even for a little bit about your opinion.

Method 2) When you start to get angry just think "angry, angry, angry" don't think WHY you're angry, or WHO is to blame, just say in your head "angry, angry, angry" or "frustrated, frustrated, frustrated" and take deep breath, filling your lungs with air, and exhaling the air. You might find it relaxing to think that when you inhale, you're filling your lungs with good energy, and when you exhale, you're letting all that negative energy out. You might also find it helpful to shake your body like a ragdoll after taking a few breaths, and then to cool down with a nice stretch.

Method 3) When you start to get angry, look upwards and say outloud "I am very angry right now." and then look downwards "I am soooo happy right now~" you'll feel so silly that you'll put a temporary smile on your face, leaving some of the stress behind.

Method 4) Find a nice comfortable place in your house to just.. relax. Tell yourself, when you go into that area, you may not bring any anger or hatred with you, that is the one area where you may relax, and breath. If someone chooses to join you, even if you don't want them there, you must tell yourself "this is my area to relax, I cannot be angry right now".

Method 5) Keep a diary of rants. Just let out all your frustrations. When you feel better, look back at when you were angry, some people find themselves realizing that they were unreasonable, and that might allow you to find a more personal way to transform your anger, and to allow yourself to be a little bit more easy going around the people you were once angry at. Some people also find this realization when they look into the mirror when they're angry. You come to realization that you are "ugly" when you're angry, and you let it go.

What may work for some may not work for others. But I hope you might give these a try next time you get frustrated, and see if these work for you. Good luck!

Answer 3

You feel free to act out at home because you know that you can. Out in public the idea of acting out like that is enough to cause you to stop acting like that. Plus, your family can drive you nuts in a way that noone else can - personal experience talking here.

You are the only one who can control how you react to things in your environment. Good for you to start looking at how you can change and feel better. You can try talking to a counselor about any issues that keep coming up. Even if you won't see a counselour or therapist - if you can figure out some patterns in your life that set you off then you will have a better chance of overcoming the overwhelming anger.

While you are working on figuring out those patterns - do what someone suggested, and scream into a pillow or get out of the house and take a walk.

Write a journal about all the things that make you angry for a couple weeks or a month and then go back and read it when you are not at home. See if you can identify any particular issues, times of day, people, words, whatever that really set you off - then do what you can to change those things or lessen their effect on you. Also, look at your family members and see how they deal with stress - you might find some clues to your own behavior there.

The counting thing never worked for me either - I found it much better to vent my anger on the written page.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, do you like to write? Keep a journal? Maybe writing out these thoughts in a positive way will help you relieve your stress and anger. You could vent with the words you feel, leaving nothing out. Or even try a punching bag? Or try to just stay away from home long enough to start to appreciate it. You could stay the night at a friend's, and then come back when you feel like you can handle it. Guessing from your post, you sound like a teenager. So hating your family and siblings is quite normal, because I used to feel -- and still do -- feel the same way. You should find out the reason why you feel this way about your family.

Answer 5

I think you are going through the normal stages of growing up. My recommendation is to "escape" the world that is making you angry. Read, put on headphones listen to music, watch a funny tv show, take a nap, take a walk, call a friend. Whatever it takes to get you calmed down. Being so angry is also bad for your health, it raises your blood pressure, and causes your stress levels to go up. And if you need to scream, let it out, cry if you need too. Most of all pray that God will give you the strength to handle it and pull you through it. Good Luck!

Also, if you don't see an improvement in your anger issues, it might be time to take it to the next level and see a counselor at school.

Answer 6

You've got some deep-seated stuff that is causing you to lose your cool over small things. You've got to deal with the deeper things to get control of your anger. See if the school has a therapist who will use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with you. Go to counseling at least once a week. Also, journal! It really helps. Don't journal like someone else is going to read it. Journal just for you!!! Write sloppy, draw pictures, whatever you need to do to express yourself. Write "letters" to people who make you mad - but destroy the letters after you've written them. This will help you put things in perspective. Don't get a fancy journal - just use a notebook or something that you can keep private. Also, don't pressure yourself to journal every day. Just journal when you feel like you need to.

You are like a cup that's overflowing. You have some big issues underneath, so every time something small happens, your cup is flowing over the top. If you deal with the stuff underneath, you'll be making room so that you can deal with the stuff that would normally overflow. :)

You can do this! :) Good luck! :)

Answer 7

I felt the same way, I'm not sure how old you are. but, I had to move, it's like when you get home your entire mood just change, you are angry, frustrated, can't consentrate, on the what you need to be focused on. I truly understand. If you can't move out just yet, If you have a family mem. or friend you can go by who don't have alot of commotion going on in their house try and go there. home is not always the best place to relax. If neither of those work, try to find a quiet place rather it's the park, your yard, wherever, and you may want to talk to a conscelor as well.

Hope this help

Answer 8

i know how you feel trust me i have serious temper problems i can't control them most the time i just cry because the anger is so unreal so seriously the 123 take aq deep breath does not work at all i know just go for a walk for real or go hang out somewhere chill under a tree breath take a nap listen to some feel good music ( my favorite thing to do is, turn on some crazy music, anything between heavy metal or rap music) and dance my a** of it feels so good to shake the anger out of my a**!

Answer 9

Honestly I feel the exact same way sometimes. I just moved home recently to a full house and I find myself fighting with my family over the stupidest things because I get angry at something they've said. Its easier to fight with family too because you know they will always be there for you. When you start feeling angry just tell youself to relax and ask yourself if what your angry about is really worth the stress of fighting with those who love you unconditionally.

Answer 10

Psychiatrists tell us that anger is a secondary emotion, that it results from either hurt or fear.

Getting to the cause of the anger will go a long way towards eliminating it.

You might not be able to do that yourself. Professional counseling can be helpful for these types of issues. A trained therapist can more easily and quickly help you get to what's really brewing underneath that anger.