My fiance and I got engaged in August of this year. We've been together for four years, so when we started planning, we decided on a wedding in October of 2009. Well, I for some reason wanted to bump it up because I didn't feel like waiting over two years.
I have just decided to go back to school. I'm 20 and he's 21, so we're both relatively young. I am getting a degree as a medical secretary.
Here's the thing: do you think its wise to push back the date to 2009 again so I can go to school and get a decent job, or do you think just keep planning the wedding for next year and just wait to go to school?
Nothing has been set in stone: no invitations, save the date cards, venues, photographers, etc. The only thing so far done is asking my bridesmaids to be a part of the big day.
We are paying for everything ourselves, and it can be a bit stressful trying to come up with nice things for our very small budget.
Any opinions?
2007-12-12 05:43:37 · 26 answers · asked by Megan Deann 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just wanted to add that we're not planning on having kids until we're both ready, which isn't in the plans for another 5 years or so!
And obviously, I'm responsible and mature enough to not have kids before I get married anyways...... So don't worry, no kids will "pop up" between now and the wedding!
2007-12-12 05:57:38 · update #1
Two things quicky: I lost a friend of mine very suddenly a few weeks ago. She had just gotten married a month before she died, and her husband is taking it awful because he didn't have enough time with her. I think that alone has got my mind rolling... we never know exactly what our life expectancy is.
And also: planning a wedding AND going to school? Are you crazy? You've obviously never done that at the same time. Note: i'm doing EVERYTHING myself... its more than you think! Planning a wedding for 200 isn't exactly easy-peasy!
2007-12-12 06:01:35 · update #2
I am very proud of you for being honest and realistic and realizing that marriage will not solve everything. I was engaged almost 2/12 years and I knew him over a year before hand. Being with the rate the divorce rate is make damn sure you only do this wedding thing once. We were virgins until we were married and the waiting served us well.
We are best friends we love the Lord and we just celebrated 14 years of marriage and I truly believe the reason our marriage is blessed is because we waited on Gods and our parents timing to get married. Finish school push up the date nothing is written in stone as you said. Enjoy this season of life you are in because marriage has its own challenges as well. I wish you all the best:)
2007-12-12 10:04:23 · answer #1 · answered by encourager4God 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your confusion, as I found myself in the same situation. My fiance and I are both 21. My fiance and I had decided to wait until October of 2009 to marry, since I would finish school in August of 2009. But, a few months ago, a friend of mine died only 4 months after being married. She and her husband had dated for 6 YEARS!! They kept putting off the wedding b/c she was in school and she felt she wouldn't be able to handle all the stress at the same time. So they waited. And then she died. That was what triggered me to want to get married sooner. So, now I'm getting married in March 2008....thats about less than 3 months.I think its worth it, that's why I'm doing it. I would hate to rob my fiance of time together. And, believe me, the stress wil be worth your while too. I thought the same, that it would be too stressful, and I'm doing fine. I'm a full-time college student (15-18 hrs a semester) and I have a full-time job (40 hours a week). Plus, I'm involved in my church (10 hrs a week) and I'm planning a phenominal wedding...all by myself. We are paying for everything ourselves too and we have a budget. But it hasn't been that bad. I say get married sooner than 2009. I promise you it will be worth it. It may seem stressful at times, but then again, life is stressful. Once you start planning and looking at dresses and the days on the calendar go by, your excitement will show you that the stress is just a small price to pay for great happiness. Happy planning! And Congratulations.
P.S. Your lucky to only have to plan a wedding for 200! My wedding is for 400.
2007-12-12 07:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Yessi H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think setting a 2009 date would be a better idea. Budgetting can be hard, especially since you are both students. If you push the date back and continue getting things, you can pay for small amounts at a time. I dont think you are too young at all im only 21 and will be married in February. Just pace yourself, concentrate on school work, and bust out wedding stuff on holidays. Dont let your wedding overshadow your schooling. Good Luck and Congratulations
2007-12-12 09:18:06 · answer #3 · answered by bella_babe_86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES- definitely push the date back! You love each other, you're engaged- he isn't going anywhere, honey. Just take this extra time to enjoy each other, finish school, and go after a good job. You have to remember that being married is about SO much more than the wedding day, and you'll just be setting yourself up for problems in the marriage if you try to rush the date before you're financially or emotionally ready. You're both still so young, even if you have been together for four years. Another year or so of a wait will be good for you both. Push it back to Oct. '09- you'll be so happy you did!!
2007-12-12 05:53:24 · answer #4 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Although, i am a fan, i think it is a bit unfair, People have paid money and booked hotels etc, for the first few dates, to find out they have to wait a year. Some people will have to cancel their tickets and get a refund, which is sad. I thought i was lucky to get the last concert, because i thought that the first and the last concerts would be the best, i was going to Febrary 24th, (the original last concert), but now there is three more concerts after mine, so i guess it wont be as special. But i shouldnt complain, i guess im lucky to be going at all. I just hope he doesnt push more dates back. Love Lucy x
2016-05-23 05:55:40 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
School first- 2009 will be here before you know it. I just got engaged and we set a date for 2009 - a year and a half. I'm a teacher and this summer we are moving so next summer we plan to have the wedding. No reason for all the stress!
2007-12-12 06:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think my boyfriend put it into words well when we were discussing marriage and my schooling when he said "The average life expectancy is what? 80 years or so? We're not even halfway there! What's the rush? ". I won't be getting out of school until 2011 (I'll be 25, he'll be 27) since I go part time because of my full time job. He thinks it would be best if we waited until I got my career set up before we get married.
Even though I hate it (LOL!), he makes a lot of sense. Wait until your career and lives are decently set up.
Good luck!
EDIT: I just read your additional details and the part about not knowing our life expectancy really hit me because that was my argument when my boyfriend and I were having our discussion. I stay paranoid about things like that and it's nice to know someone else out there thinks the way I do! LOL!
2007-12-12 05:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok...yes you can plan a wedding and go to school! I'm doing it and my sister is doing it! So yes...it's possible! I'm 21 and my bf is 20 and were getting married with in the next year also. I'll be grad. in Sping of 09 and he graduates this May! And we're planing a wedding. We were going to wait til i graduates...buit I didnt want to wait 2 yrs either! My man and I have been together for 4 1/2 years and have been through some very trying times! It's possible! Just follow your heart...but dont put yourself in a bind!
2007-12-12 14:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by oneactplaygurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend waiting until you complete your degree. There are a lot of responsibilities that go along with marriage and it may be hard to handle while in school. With that said, remember that there is never a "convenient" time to get married, things will always come up and get in the way. At some point, you just have to decide it's what you want and commit to doing it.
2007-12-12 05:51:41 · answer #9 · answered by Deanrijo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to apply for financial aid? If so, being married will let you file independantly from your parents' incomes, which could be a big plus. If that's the case, you can go to the courthouse and get married, and then plan to do the ceremony at a later date. I know, I know - pragmatic and unromantic. But it'll also give you two time to really think about what you want in a ceremony; how you want to celebrate in a way that means something to you. A wedding doesn't have to cost gobs of money to be really great. 21 years ago, my lady stood with me on a hillside with the preacher and his wife. Just us. We had a whale of a 5th anniversary party, though! :)
2007-12-12 05:55:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋