My ex told me she didnt love me anymore after 2 years a month ago. Two weeks later she said she just didnt know who she was anymore, she felt lost and that she still had feelings but needed who knows how long to figure herself out. I told her We should be apart during this time, but she has said that if we do that we wont even be friends again nevermind get back together. She told me the other day "shed be lying" if she didnt think it would work out between us. Now shes starting to talk to me everyday again like we did when we were together, and i cant tell if shes just doing it cuz shes lonely or cuz she wants to get back, but she does keep saying that she still needs to figure herself out. and at first i thought it was about other guys, but shes hardly gone out since we broke up, shes been just keeping to herself. Do women sometimes just really need time alone? thanks
2007-12-12 05:11:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes. Some PEOPLE need time alone to be with their own thoughts. When they ask for that time alone to be outside of the relationship, then what they are saying is they aren't sure about the relationship. If she says she's still working on her issues, but she continues to call you, then I'd say she's lonely and is looking for a friend.
She sounds depressed...she's questioning her entire life, she's asked for time away from you, she's not going out. ask her if she has spoken with a professional about what is bothering her. A disinterested third party can help her talk through her issues and sort out her thoughts.
Meanwhile, I think that it is fair for you to give her a time period for how long you are willing to wait for her to sort herself out. It's not fair of her to keep you dangling around as her fall back just in case guy while she tries to figure out what she wants. Keep in mind if this is a minor depression, she could be in therapy for a few weeks to a few months or a year and if it is something more serious...she could be in therapy a lot longer.
Good Luck.
2007-12-12 05:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't say I've ever done that with my boyfriend. He knows when I'm pissed (goes both ways) and he's usually pissed at the same time (just sorta works out that way). So neither one of us want anything to do with sex, being mad and all. But I've seen that kind of scenario you're talking about play out in friend's relationships and it usually ends up biting them in the ***. "What else would you use to get him in line?" lol nothing. Ever heard "Can't change a man"? Truer than I'd like to admit. I used to ***** and complain and nag blah blah blah, but it never did any good so I just stopped, and left him alone. The funny thing is that as soon as I stopped complaining and ignored it altogether, he made changes out of the goodness of his heart. Which is so much more wonderful than knowing that someone changed something because you pushed them into it. Hah, ok, so I ignore him I guess, and he comes around. lol I don't know if that counts.
2016-03-15 22:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women need alone time the same reason men need it. Sometimes it's scarey when you are in a relationship for a long time. Me becomes We, I becomes Us and you lose a little of yourself but the sign of a great relationship is those who put themselves after their partner.
2007-12-12 05:23:07 · answer #3 · answered by GirlsDeadMonster 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes sometimes they just need some alone time..
2007-12-12 05:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by Blond3 BombShell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did that to my ex boyfriend little over 2 years ago & I have regretted it ever since. I broke up with him becuase of the same reasons.Women can (especially younger women) need space to figure themselves out sometimes. Keep up what you are doing I am sure the two of yall will get back together.
2007-12-12 05:17:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes they do some don't need to separate to do it some do. you guys have been togather for two years she probably needs to think about what she wants what she needs and what will make her happy give her some space and be patient with her but be on the look out you don't want to be more hurt then you already are
2007-12-12 05:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes they do. its not all about a relationship. i know i need a night by myself once a week from my bf
2007-12-12 05:16:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she needs time apart
she is wondering if its worth it to stay with you
girls are bitches like that, and i hate it.
i find that guys are more into the relationship
half the time, they just don't show it.
try to make a move, kiss her goodbye or something
and see what she does in reaction.
she just needs to get over her self
and realize how amazing you are
and how much you care for her.
make her remember why she loves you in the first place
but if she doesn't love you back in return as much as you care for her, she isn't ment to be with you.
find someone who doens't take you for granted
because it seems that is how she feels for you. that you will always be there.
don't let her do that to you.
and i wish you luck.
2007-12-12 05:18:33 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole Ashlee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes i did it but it can mess things up just give her time and from the looks of it she really just needs time to herself
2007-12-12 05:16:12 · answer #9 · answered by Amber M 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes. give her her space, if she initiates the contact follow her lead. but don't let her use you for comfort or friendship unknowingly, when & if she decides to move on it will hurt even more.
2007-12-12 05:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by Lady T 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋