proper thank you note ettiquette?

Question

if we get gifts before the wedding from people that are attending the wedding, how do you do thank you notes? do i send them 2 thank you notes, before and after? or is a call beforehand to thank them and let them know we received the gift and a thank you card afterward appropriate?

Answer 1

You don't need 2 thank you notes. It depends on how far before the wedding they sent the gifts but you should be able to wait until after the wedding so you can thank them for being there and thank them for the gift.

Answer 2

I think its good to let them know you received it and thank them but don't send the thank you note until after the wedding. I did that and then organized everyones names and their gifts in Excel. Then after the wedding I would send them thank you notes and add that I was happy that they were able to attend and for the people who don't attend say that you missed them and wish they could have been there so its more than just thanking them for the present and you show you appreciate their presence as well. You can't add those nice personal touches if you thank them before the wedding.

Answer 3

Emily-Post etiquette says you send the thank-you note within two weeks of receipt if the gift is received before the wedding, and within four weeks of returning from the honeymoon if received at the wedding. You send thank-you notes for gifts only. You don't send thank-you notes for people attending: they were your guests; they accepted your invitation to feed and entertain them. You do not thank people for that in a written format. At the wedding itself, yoo should make a point of talking with each guest, and you may verbally thank them for being a part of your big day, but no written thank-you to acknowledge attendance. So, for the gifts you've already gotten, send a thank-you note promptly, and then cross them off your list. Congratulations!

Answer 4

If they are attending the wedding, IMO I'd wait until after the wedding for the thank you note, that way I can also thank them for attending.

This is what I intend on doing, because I feel their PRESENCE at the wedding is the ONLY present I am looking for from them.

I will be thanking them for attending the wedding.

If they are not attending, I'll send a thank you note when I receive the gift.

Answer 5

You send them a thank you note within about two weeks of recieving the gift. At the very least they need a phone call so they know the gifts arrived OK. They don't need a special note again after the wedding unless you just want to send them a "thanks for coming" kind of deal.

Answer 6

If it is a mailed gift, it is my understanding to at least make the sender aware you received the gift... even if you choose to wait to open it. If you have already opened it, then go ahead and send the one thank you card right away. It is up to you after the wedding if you would like to send a second one to thank them for attending the wedding. Whichever you choose... be sure to at least say thank you in person or give a call to let the sender know it arrived safely.

Answer 7

Thank you notes must be sent out as soon as possible, preferably no later than two weeks after recieving the gift or within 2 weeks of returning from the honeymoon, whichever is sooner.
This applies to all gifts whether recieved before or after the wedding.
The only difference is that before the wedding, you sign your maiden name and after the wedding you'll use your married name.

Answer 8

Just make a list and send all of the notes after the wedding. If you want to call and let them know you received the gift, it would be nice but I don't think it's necessary. One card for each guest should suffice.

Answer 9

Your biggest responsibility after getting any gift is to send a thank you note as soon as possible.

Phoning, thanking the gift giver in person or even e-mailing your thanks is not the proper way to thank someone. The person who gave you the gift took the time and cared enough to send you something. You need to return the favor by showing them that you appreciate their thought.

1. Write your thank you notes promptly after a gift or service has been received. Thank you notes should be mailed within a few days of receiving the gift. Three months is the latest wedding thank you notes should be sent, but try to mail them out within a month.


2. Thank you notes should reflect your sincere gratefulness. Try to thank the person in the same tone you would use if you were talking to them face-to-face.


3. Personally write your thank you notes to give them a personal touch. A handwritten thank you note is also like a gift in itself. Preprinted thank you notes let guests know the gift has been received. However, you still need to follow-up with a handwritten, personal thank you note.

1. Salutation - "Dear Mrs. Smith", "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Smith", "Dear Uncle Dan" and "Dear Sue" are all ways of starting the note.


2. The first sentence begins with yourself (and/or spouse or baby). "I would like to thank you…" or "Dan and I would like to thank you…" let the recipient know who is thanking them.


3. Mention the gift - Be as specific about it as possible. Tell the person how nice it is and why. A few descriptive words you can use when they fit the situation are: appropriate, beautiful, charming, elegant, generous, lovely, perfect, special, unique and useful.


4. Tell them how you plan to use the gift - In the case of money gifts, you should not mention that it is a check, cash or even the exact amount of the gift. An example would be, "Your generous gift is highly appreciated. We have it earmarked for our house fund."


5. Thank the person again - Maybe include a personal thought about your relationship with the giver or a special memory of your wedding or event.


6. Close the note - Give a heartfelt closing with something like "Fondly," "Best regards," "Sincerely," "Love" or "Cordially" and sign your name.


What NOT to write in a Thank You Note
Writing thank you notes can be fun, but you need to be careful not to step on any toes in the process. Do not mention you are going to return a gift for ANY reason. Also, you should not say that you received the same gift from someone else.






Wedding Thank You Notes
Wedding thank you notes need to be mailed quickly. Try to mail thank you notes out as soon as you start receiving gifts.


Both the bride and groom should write the notes together. Sharing responsibility takes the pressure off a little. If you try to write a little each day, the whole project of writing the cards will seem less daunting.


Everyone involved in a wedding from the flower girl to the best man should receive a note. Try to remember to thank all those involved.

Answer 10

Before the wedding and shower - send out the thank-you's immediately After the shower - within about 2 weeks, send out thank you's for the gifts you get at the shower. After the wedding - try to send out thank you's for gifts you get at the wedding within 2 months. You do not need to send thank- yous to people that you sent them to previously, unless they give you an additional gift at the wedding - and some will. For those that attend the wedding and do not bring a gift to the wedding (including those who gave gifts prior to the wedding who you thanked already) there is no need to send an additional thank you for attending. They will be thanked for their attendance thru the favors, if you have them. You can also thank them for coming at the beginning of the toasts... or at the end of the reception. ADDED: DO NOT have people address their own envelopes at your shower. That is tacky and lazy. I have seen people who do this and I have no idea why. Why would I want to get a thank you card from myself? Printing off address labels is better than having people address their own envelopes.