My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and he has a 2 year old daughter. I met her when she was 9 months old, so when we would get her on the weekends I was the mommy figure. Now that she is 2 she knows who mommy is and who I am, which I'm fine with that, it keeps mommy off my back. The problem is that she takes to women really easy, but not so much guys. So when she is over at our house she only wants to be around me not daddy. Diaper/potty training, feeding, playing, putting her to sleep all she wants is me to do it. Some weekends are better then others but these last two have been horrible. He has asked me to take her home both weekend because the whole way home she asks for me then when she see mommy she starts crying for her and he really can't take that emotionaly(sp). She doesn't act that way with the moms boyfriend. I've told him that I would work on the weekends just so he can have alone time with her but he says no. What should we do?
2007-12-12 05:08:11 · 8 answers · asked by Two peas in a pod 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I totally recommend you not be there on her daddy visits. If you were married, or had some sort of life commitment, it would be different. However the last thing this child needs is losing someone she becomes attached to, if you two were to break up. She's also better served developing a stronger bond with daddy.
2007-12-15 19:41:56 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let the tow of them have some alone time. Does her mom know what goes on if not you 2 should let her know then suggest that the parents and kid spend time together. Maybe the parents and the B/F and u can get together some time but i strongly suggest she spend time with both her parents she needs to bond more. Perhaps when she's older she'll be more understanding she's only 2 her mom's the only constant figure in her life that's why she's taken so much to you another woman.Good luck.
2007-12-12 13:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by EM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to go somewhere, the mall or do grocery shopping while they get some time together, maybe they can go to the park, since she's 2 she's still little to do other things, but she'll see how much fun she's having with daddy she'll want him more. And you should feel proud that she does accepts you but yeah give daddy more time with her, or first time you go take her to the park why not all of u go, but u sit on a bench while they go on the swing or the slide together. Best of luck to u!
2007-12-12 13:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by acia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs alone time w/ her. She'll eventually realize that Daddy is fun and loving too once she gets used to him. He should actually be doing the majority of taking care of her too, so that she knows he's there to take care of her. You need to stop doing the parental stuff for him so that he has an opportunity to do it himself. It's making the situation worse.
If he doesn't bond and develop a strong relationship w/ her now, he won't have the chance when she's older. So it really is important for him to be much more involved.
2007-12-12 13:25:16 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, you do need to stop stepping up, thats his job
as much as you love her, he needs to be the parental figure,
I think you should try to be busy helping someone out on the weekends he should be with her,
and speak to her mother and see what she thinks would be for the best in this situation,
M
BY the way the reason she isn't like that with her mom boyfriend is sadly because she sees him as her FATHER,
and not her own father as her father BUT YOU as her Auntie type babysitter,
in her mind she is visiting you, and feels secure with you, because you made that effort, but HE hasn't,
I think you already see this, and it is a big concern for you because your thinking what might happen if the 2 of you had kids, will he be so disintrested?
( he can love her without being the best parental figure, I am just saying you would like to see him DO and BE more)
2007-12-12 13:29:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say she needs to bond more with her father. He needs to let you back off. She's 2 years old so if he's giving her everything she wants now (everything being your attention instead of his) imagine how much worse this could be when she's older?
2007-12-12 22:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to try harder to have a bond with her. They need some alone time.
2007-12-12 13:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Tbone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to back off and not be around her so much. so daddy can be a daddy
2007-12-12 13:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋