when do u tell someone..?

Question

i know someone who just starting seeing someone(she just turned 18) anyway... she has herpes, she got it from a boy that she thought she was in love with(he knew he had it an didnt tell her) she knows she has to tell the guy but my question is.... would u tell him now or wait till the relationship turns into more? they are not officially together as of yet. i think she needs to do it now. please honest answers an dont be rude...having herpes doesnt mean ur nasty.... thank u

rrruby.... i guess u need to grow up an do some research.....

diva1980...its actually oral herpes but she has the sores in her genital area.. very confusing to me but thats wat the dr said

Answer 1

I think that your friend should tell the guy she's dating when she feels ready, but definitely before the couple becomes sexually active. Your friend should be prepared for his reaction when she tells him because he could react a number of different ways.

Answer 2

She needs to be honest with him now, if she waits and lets more feeling develop and then tells him, there is the possibility that he may end it and then she is left feeling the pain. If she does it now, he may still walk away but at least she was honest up front and gave him the option, the option that she was not given. She also should explain how she contracted it, explaining that she wasn't afforded the choice and that she wanted to give him the option that she didn't get may help ease the situation. It's never easy telling someone something like that, it's embarrasing and uncomfortable. Let her know that 60% of all americans have it and 3 out of every 6 people have slept with someone who has it and either contracted it and don't know it, or got lucky and didn't get it. If the guy disregards her and the person she is for something so ridiculous, then he wasn't worth it in the first place.

Answer 3

Ok I am guessing you are talking about "Genital Herpes", if that's the case yes it's important that your friend is honest with the person she is dating specially if she plans on being sexually involved. Overall, she should not be having unprotected sex but as mistakes do happen it is only fair that she is honest to the guy. If her intentions are to get to know him i think she should hold of and some how get to the conversation to see his outlook on STD's and overall get his insights, she could practically say this happend to "her friend". If he easily reacts with disgust it's best of she walks away from the realtionship overall. But the main thing is she has to tell him if she plans on being sexually involved with him.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your friend that this happened to her. Herpes is going to help her weed out a lot of men who are only
interested in sex. This is why she has to now take her time to get to know the men she dates and be very selective about the who she has relations with in the future.

When the relationship progresses to the point that they have the sex talk (are we going to, when will we...) AND she's interested in having sex with him, that's when she needs to tell him. She also needs to be able to answer his questions honestly and to let him know that they MUST use a condom EVERY TIME. She DOESN'T need to tell everyone she dates (unless she's going to have sex with everyone she dates).

She also needs to stay in touch with her doctor, so that she has the most up to date info on safer sex practices and treatments for her disease.


Good Luck to her!

Answer 5

I they aren't serious I don't see the harm in not telling him. She might get to know him a little better and decide that she doesn't like him like that.
She should definitely tell him before they become intimate. But it's probably to soon at this point. She should let him really get to know her because then he might be able to overlook the fact that she has herpes.

Answer 6

She needs to tell him before the relationship get heated up. Having herpes does mean ur nasty.

Answer 7

If she truely cares about him then she should tell him. Why let the relationship esculate when your holding something very important like having herpes. She sounds like the guy that gave her the herpes. Tell him is my answer

Answer 8

I have herpes and I tell right away, why l let things get too far and have to loose them

Answer 9

well it really all depends on her and how this new relationship is progressing. defintelely being honest is the way to go. if she feels that he is an understanding guy and won't run away when she tells him. then she should have that conversation with him and tell him the whole story.

Answer 10

I would tell him now. If she waits till it escalates more, feelings will grow and it could be really really bad. He needs to know now.