Jealous boyfriend???

Question

I have a boyfriend of 2 years and he is SUPER jealous of my guy friends. I have a couple close guy friends that I've known for years and like 1 or 2 girlfriends that I don't consider close. He gets mad everytime they call me or text me. He thinks they're all trying to get with me, but at the same time he gets mad if I go out with the girls cuz he thinks they're too slu**y and they're gonna be a bad influence on me! What should I say to him?

Im 22 and he's 23 yrs. old

Thanx for all the suggestions, I read all of them, I dont know how Im gonna pick a best answer!

Answer 1

why not bring him along with the group so he can get a chance to meet the boys and see that they really are just your friends...there is obviously an insecurity that he must deal with from the past...whether it is connected to you or a previous relationship...and if you want him to stay in your life without the drama...you have to figure out what you need to do to make it work...because your word isn't enough for him right now...as far as the girls are concerned...you have to ask yourself again...why is it that he cares who you are with...maybe he thinks that you are easily persuaded to do things that you normally wouldn't do...but you know...as long as you are happy with your actions at the end of the night...then it shouldn't matter...if you are just being your self...there is no reason to feel guilty if men are genuinely attracted to that...that's just the way things are...people find people attractive...if your man cant handle that...then he doesnt need to be in a relationship...there is only so much you can do or say...before you begin to realize that maybe...just maybe this other person is being too controlling and that they are toxic for you...

Answer 2

Sounds to me like there is no trust on his part i agree with both answers in a way

You need to sit down with him and explain that there just good friends and nothing is going on

If he's a true boyfriend in that sense he will understand if not it may be time to say bye bye

I would explain how you feel to him and ask him to explain how he feels and why he feels the way he does

There May be stuff there you don't know about as well as maybe he don't know

Fourtnatley My bf and i haven't faced this at all

Something else you could try is all getting together and letting him see for himself that nothing is going on that it's just friendship and nothing more

cause sometimes and i am not saying it's the case here but sometimes it can be misunderstandings in that say for example your spending tons of time with your friends but hardly any with him he could get the wrong impression

Counselling might work

If all these things don't work it's time to say bye bye

I know this much from experience is that you need to have friends outside your relationship cause if it don't work out then you don't want to be without the support system

But i would definetly talk to him before you do anything because he may have some legitimate concerns he just might be expressing them the wrong way

Honesty and communication are the cornerstone of any good relationship

If you want you can message me on yahoo messanger it sometimes helps to talk but

But i would say maybe he feels excluded Bring him along

Answer 3

Hey girl, I had the same problem with my boyfriend of 3 years in the beginning of our relationship. At first, I didn't want to hear it so I just stopped talking to most of my guy friends (we werent as close as you are with your guy friends) but I still wished that I never did that because it was only the beginning of his jealousy issues. After that he started saying the he didnt want me going to certain places that he thought were skeevy. But in reality, he (and you bf) shouldn't care where we go and they should trust us to be faithful. You should sit down and say to your boyfriend that a little jealous is healthy in a relationship, but he is taking it over the top, and making you not as happy with him anymore. Explain to him how much you care about him and that you would never do anything to hurt him. If he is still jealous after all that, then you need to get out while you can! hope that helps you.

Answer 4

You need to figure out his needs, what does he need for you to do to make him trust you more. There is always compromise. Of course tell him he has nothing to worry about, and then ask him "what can I do to make you trust me more" .. for example, if your going out with the girls for a night, perhaps he'd feel better if you'd check in, text or call, every now and then, it might be annoying for you, but i'll calm him down, and eventually he might be okay with not hearing from you at all, same with a night out with a guy friend, Now I understand why he feels insecure about that, I mean there are TONS of people in the world who wouldn't put up with that, and there are tons that wouldn't care either way.
I am on your boyfriends side, I wouldnt like it if my boyfriend had a bunch of close girlfriends, of course theres a history if him flirting, and lying, so ask yourself if you've done anything in the past two years for him to have a reason to feel insecure about you hanging out with your guy friends, if so you need to address this, and figure out how you can gain his trust. Perhaps invite him along, let him get to know all of your friends, people feel more secure if they meet your friends, and develop a friendship of their own with them.

Answer 5

I was in the SAME situation. He had all these girl friends, and I had to stop talking to all of my guy friends and a bunch of other friends because he "didn't" like them.

Do yourself a favor and break up with him. I dated that jerk for 3 years, and I consider half that time wasted. When I think about all the good times I missed out on with my REAL friends that my boyfriend didn't like, it makes me angry and sad. Sad that I stayed with him for so long. BREAK UP! There is a world of wonderful out there that he is NOT letting you see.

^--- Oh and listen to Nikki's answer above. TRUE STORY! It will NOT get better. Like your momma said, you can never change a man :-(

Answer 6

If you love him...tell him that you love him very much and that there is no one that can change that. Let him know that no matter where you are or who you are talking to, who you are with,or anything else can change what you feel for him.
Let him know that you don't want anyone else in any way, and that his trust means everything to you. You have to have friends and do things on your own at times. Trust is the main thing and if he doesn't have any, then you and he both will be miserable.

Love

Answer 7

BYE!!!!! Dont let the door hit you on the way out. After two years he should know who your friends are and be ok with it. And if he cant take the fact that you are gonna gou out with your friends and have a good time Then he can go...

Answer 8

how old are you? if you are in high school i guess that is kind of normal behavior because most younger kids are jealous and needy. if you are older than that then your boyfriend needs to grow up and have some trust in you. tell him that.

Answer 9

Tell him Goodbye...he's a control freak in order to compensate/deal with his deep insecurities....and since People don't change it will not get any better, only worse.....Good Luck.

Answer 10

I hate Jealous boyfriend because they alway think that girl are chesting