My family and hometown is about 5 hours away from where I currently live. My fiance is a pastor and we would really like to get married here in his church. My family is upset about this and would prefer me to marry in the church I grew up in. Is it unreasonable to have the wedding where my life is now? Am I neglecting their feelings on the matter? Just as a side note his family lives two hours away from us as well so everyone will have to travel.
2007-12-12 03:51:50 · 19 answers · asked by limabean 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think in this special circumstance you should marry in your fiance's church, he is the pastor there, imagine how special that will be for both of you. To marry in the church where he preaches would be so amazing. I'd go with your plans.
2007-12-12 03:56:35 · answer #1 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a unique situation, since your groom-to-be is a pastor with a parish. I agree that it would be lovely for the wedding to be in his church, and since that is what both of you want, I feel that it is what you should do. But, there is one question...who is paying for the wedding? If your parents are involved, then I do think that they might get a vote as well. What if you were to have the wedding in his church and then at a later time, have a reception in your hometown...would that possibly appease you parents?? Good luck and best wishes for much happiness!!
2007-12-12 03:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by judithia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is just the start of the drama . . . buy yourself a helmet!
It is your wedding and you can choose where to have it.
My Fiance & I are about 3 hours drive from a bulk of our family, but also have family that would come from a distance no matter where we get married.
As soon as they heard my ring was ordered, everyone wanted to go with me to check out places around where the family is - - not where we are living. LOL.
i put them all in their place and said "this is where we are calling home, this is where we are going to get married".
As a bit of a trade-off, we did decide to have a full meal and have the event on a Saturday to accomodate the travellers a bit.
2007-12-12 04:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by nova_queen_28 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your parents wanting it at their church. It's probably their vision for your wedding. However, it is your wedding and you should get married at the church that you are currently a member of. 5 hours is not that far of a drive for a wedding. It is a far drive to keep doing while planning the wedding and reception. Also by having it at you and your fiance's church rather than at his parent's church or your parent's church make it more nuetral ground.
2007-12-12 04:02:40 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda I 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding so do what you feel in your heart.
I now live in CT, but I am originally from NY. I had my wedding in CT because this is my home now. Another way to help figure out where to have the wedding is decide who's family is bigger and who's family would have less "out of town" guests to conserve on $$. For example, my family is much smaller, so it didn't make sense to have the wedding where I grew up and have my husbands LARGE family all go 5 hours up there. I only had to book a few hotel rooms for my family opposed to tons of rooms for his family - made more sense to me.
2007-12-12 04:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely acceptable for you to have it where your life is now.
I know it is a long distance for your family to come, but this is once in a lifetime. They can drive or fly that distance with relative ease. I think it is imperative that you explain to them that this wedding is about you and your fiancee, and as you guys are starting a new life together, you want to have it at HIS church. You may also want to let them know that his family is doing some driving to get there as well, so it doesn't seem like you are favoring one over another. Tell them respectfully that while you have considered that option, this is your final decision.
2007-12-12 03:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of fighting back and forth about different wedding chapels where you both grew up in...
I would suggest maybe getting married in somewhere else. It could stop the "hometown fighting" and focus more on the love you 2 share.
2007-12-12 03:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by Skull K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bride usually marries in the church that she grew up in.
However, at the end of the day, it is your wedding day. If you want to marry in your husband's church....go for it. Have a wonderful day.
Good luck to you both and may God shine down on you.
2007-12-12 03:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by spha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could always have 2 ceremonies. But you are right for a Pastor not to be married in his own church would be odd.
2007-12-12 05:42:30 · answer #9 · answered by bountifiles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have two weddings...You are a member of both churches so it should not cost alot, you can use the same dress and have a reception halfway..Or just alope in a chapel and then it will be done. Marriage is not based on where the wedding takes place..Good luck
2007-12-12 03:57:03 · answer #10 · answered by girleyworley 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋