She has just about everything she could possibly want at her mother's house. She been really into computer games lately, so I bought her this make a teddy bear game I found on clearance at Target, since she loves that kind of stuff right now. The thing is, we just had a baby and so we've got a lot of medical bills, since we had an insurance coverage problem and are in the process of fixing it. She wants a Nintendo DS, and every accessory. Thing is, she's 7, has been doing poorly in school, not been listening to her mother or me, just her Dad, and frankly I don't think she deserves it or will take care of it. What is a good and much cheaper alternative?
2007-12-12 03:43:01 · 10 answers · asked by Kristin D 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Okay, I need to add details about our family. Her parents were together when they were very young, 16 years old and 20 years old. They both had major issues. Since they split, her mother has had two other children by two other men, the last one she had just before I had my son. Her parents have both moved on and created families. She has 4 brothers in her mom's home and one sister. At her father's home she has two brothers. She has no issue with her siblings, she's an incredible child as far as that goes. She went to counseling, but many counselors came to the same conclusion, that she had no issues. She is just rebelling because she claims to hate her birth mother and wants to live with her father, who raised her up until March of this year, when custoday was overturned to her birth mother. Her birth mother says they have no bond whatsoever, but she hates my husband, and that's why she did the custody battle.
2007-12-12 05:39:09 · update #1
ALSO, I love my step daugher with all my heart. She is like a daughter to me, I've been around her for years, and she's always seemed to like me. I am not an evil, wicked stepmother! I just simply feel that no 7 year old who is choosing - and claims they know they are choosing - to do bad in school deserves such expensive gifts! She's SEVEN for goodness sake! If I buy her the DS, I won't be able to buy anything for my sons. I cannot afford the DS, plus her father, mother, and I all think it's money down the drain.
2007-12-12 05:42:14 · update #2
Savings Bond and lots of love. When her grades improve and she makes it to college, the bonds will come in handy.
PS. I think I know why she is rebelling against you and her Mom and the gifts are not going to bride her. It will just let her know that what she need to do to get more things.
2007-12-12 03:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by Jamerican Steve 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Here's my 2 cents:
She listens to her dad because she feels he is the only one she has a bond with and listens to her. He should set aside more time alone with her.
Getting a 7 year old a Nintendo DS is ridiculous. It is too expensive for a young child. Get her dolls or Bratz that make her use her imagination when playing. Get her books or puzzles. If mommy's house has everything she could ever want, perhaps some of it can come to daddy's house to make her feel more at home when she visits.
Do child centered activities with her when she is with you. Include her in everything you do as a family. Show her how much you love and care for her every chance you get. Help her with homework, but do not harp on her about doing poorly in school.
Continue with counseling. But make it family counseling. She is trying to figure out where she fits into this whole mess and everyone having more babies is making it worse.
Do not tell her she is not getting the Nintendo because you can not afford it or because she does not "deserve" it. Tell her she is not old enough and ask what else she would like. Have her give you a list of things for you to choose from. While she is at it, have her make out a list of things she would like to do while at your house and make every effort to do those things with her.
2007-12-12 06:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, to Libby and Kiki- it doesn't seem like she is being selfish or mean. She's saying that this child isn't having very good behavior, plus she seems a bit young to be getting such an extravagant gift. Her reasons are not because she doesn't like this little girl, or because she's "wicked".
It is just flat out rude for you to be saying that this woman is at fault for the little girl's bad behavior. So you are saying that any adult who ever had children from a previous relationship should NEVER marry or have any other children, because it may cause people to have to adjust? Really...that is just absurd.
I almost laughed when I read Kiki's statement about how HER daughter is "perfect". Um, ALL natural parents seem to think THEIR child is the most amazing, perfect child ever. It's much easier for another person to see things objectively- that's just how it is. It sounds a bit silly for you to be telling her that she should have different feelings for a child that she takes care of, but who is not her daughter. You can't FORCE feelings.
Anyways, I think you are right in getting her a different, more age appropriate gift.
2007-12-12 10:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by ~*Felicity's Mommy*~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They have some game consoles at Walmart and Target that are $20, that you can hook up to the TV. If she isn't listening, she should not be rewarded for bad behavior. On the other hand, it is Christmas. But no child under the age of ten should have their own Playstation, X-Box, or DS, or anything like that. My son has a Gameboy Advance, that he loves. He has certain times that he can play it, and if he doesn't listen, he doesn't get to play with it at all. These are just my opinions, but take from them what you will. I hope this helps you!
Don't worry about not getting her a ton of stuff, later in life she won't remember the presents, but what you guys did together. I know this doesn't help for when you have to listen to her now about not getting what she wanted, but stay strong!
2007-12-12 03:54:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
If there is a build-a- bear store near you, she'd probably like that. I recently gave a gift card to a 7 year old nephew and then brought him to the store. Your stepdaughter will have fun making the bear / choosing accessories, and you'll get to spend some quality time together.
2007-12-12 06:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by Krista D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not returned off and don't enable your husband the two. If that has been between the themes then talk punishments in the previous you supply them out. then you definately can continually say you agreed to... Screaming and yelling want do something yet strengthen the habit. do not enable her understand she's attending to you and proceed to punish as nicely as compliment for each and all of the little stuff reliable and undesirable. The spanking won't do something. i don't floor to a room. I even have got here across without stimulus my young ones could seek for me out to study or play a board interest or something alongside those strains. in the process that ingredient multiple speaking and bonding can take place. reliable success.
2016-10-02 08:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wanted to cry when I read your question. Are you joking?
Now we all know where the term wicked step-mother comes from.
If she qualified as daughter as opposed to step-daughter, then what would you get her? What would make her worthy in your eyes? I think Daddy should get the gifts so you don't have to trouble your selfish mind. The best bet is to ask Mommy what would be the best gift since "she has just about everything she could possibly want."
By the way, I have a perfect 7 yr. old daughter who does everything good and right. She is loved by everyone who meets her. She wants a DS but we are not getting it for her for different reasons than yours.
Go ahead start now while she's young to build reasons for her to never bond with you or to ever respect you. If that is what you wish for Christmas.
Frankly, she deserves a chance to be loved by everyone in her life.
2007-12-12 04:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kiki 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
MIUCHIZ Handheld Game BRATZ BABYZ Yasmin
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5007288
2007-12-12 05:08:43 · answer #8 · answered by favorite_aunt24 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wonder why your stepdaughter is doing "poorly" in school and "not listening." Hmmmm.....i wonder!
Hey....I know, Think for a moment!
Her dad is having a new baby with a woman who is not her mom!
Her world is being turned upside down because of you and her dad.
The new baby gets to live with daddy at daddy's house while she only gets to VISIT!
Her daddy has a new wife. Hmmmm
You need to be more loving and considerate of this little girl. You have harmed her permanently by taking her daddy away.
Be kind, allow her to express herself and her sadness about what is happening to her.
She deserves much more then a Nintendo DS. She deserves a complete intact family with her mom and her dad!
2007-12-12 04:02:57 · answer #9 · answered by Libby 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Get her a baby doll. Like the baby alive one.
I didn't get a DS until i was 18. I highly doubt that she could take care of it at the ripe ol' age of 7!
You could get her a vsmile video game system. They are learning video games... maybe this will help with school,
2007-12-12 03:52:35 · answer #10 · answered by ~They call me MOMMY~ 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋