Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court on Friday before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "17 people? That's wonderful! What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this:"
O o
". . .and told them this (the big circle) is your brain before drugs and this (small circle) is your brain after drugs." "That's admirable!" said the judge. To the second boy the judge said," And you, how did you do?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever." "156 people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar approach. I drew two circles...
o O
". . .and said (pointing to the small circle) 'this is your asshole before prison. . . .
What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
You and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!"
What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression. Mourning as if it were only yesterday, her daughter constantly calls her and urges her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie agrees to go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks he asks her to join him for a weekend in the Catskills. And we know what that means. One room and the normal follow up to that. Their first night there she undresses. There she stood nude except for a pair of black lacy panties. He in his birthday suit. Looking at her he asks "Why the panties?" She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night it's the same scenario. Her standing with the black panties on and he in his birthday suit; except that he has an erection on which he has a black condom. She looks at him and asks, "What's with this... a black condom?" He replies, "I'm going to offer my condolences."
2007-12-12 02:51:52 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha ha ha.!!!
Now that is Excellent Chris.!!!
Got me laughing especially the 2nd one, lol.!!!
10/10 MATE.!!!
Cheers.!!
2007-12-12 17:56:33 · answer #1 · answered by JAM123 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2007-12-12 02:57:31 · answer #2 · answered by Bamabrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 & 2 good 3 is ok. Have a good sleep picture me in th black panties..hehehe!
2007-12-12 03:30:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go yet Santa. I've only just arrived.
Oh never mind I'll go and have a look at your posts now.
Nighty, night.
2007-12-12 03:02:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
brilliant lmao 10/10 x
2007-12-12 03:58:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good Chris, now you get a good nights sleep.
Good Night x x
2007-12-12 03:01:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i am sorry i can only give you one star both of them are so funny!
2016-04-08 22:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good ones, I'll be taking them to work to share.
2007-12-12 04:05:44 · answer #8 · answered by larry m♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant! Thank you for making me laugh today
2007-12-12 02:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by Lucy C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ow chika wawa
nope wrong all they here is food beer boobs butts quickie
hohoho shouldave put dog collar onit mawhaw
2007-12-12 06:16:41 · answer #10 · answered by sallyaboulter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋