I feel so guilty what should i do?

Question

This guy i was friends with decided to tell me he would like to take things further with me and us have a relationship. I went along and thought i would give us a try but after a few weeks felt as though i could only like him as a friend i didnt feel like i could sleep with him or anything so i told him the truth rather than string him along. Now he wont talk to me or answer my texts or emails. What should i do?? I feel guilty!

Answer 1

Chaz,
Dont feel guilty. You did the abosultely right thing to do. Please remember that always.
You were friends with him, he told you he would like to take it the next level, you thought about, attempted it and found that you could not have a relation with him. You told him and if he does not accept your decision or respect your feeligs or how you approached it, he is not worth your time. Pardon me to say this, but, he does not deserve a wonderful person like you.
Just tell him this much - you are sad that what you did made him feel bad but you are being frank and honest with him and you like him so much and you liked being friends with him.
You should not bother him anymore. He is not responding to you now because he is hurt, but, if he respects you, if he really loves you, he would stayed with you in going through this or atleast given you a reply. I dont think he ever had any noble feeling for you. Still give him time and space, leave him to his world. If he comes back and if you still want to give him your friendship, do so, but, please be careful.
Dont remain feeling guilty or affect yourself with that. You were as nice as you could. :-)
Take care. I am sure you deserve someone great. All the best..

Answer 2

You did the right thing to tell the truth. As long as a person is dealing with the truth, even though their reaction may not be logical to you or pleasant, it is still the truth. Would you have preferred to continue stringing him along and him thinking you really wanted more? Then he is reacting to a lie. It may have made you feel a little less guilty but eventually the truth would have come out and you would both feel worse than you do now. Face it... Life isn't always pleasant or fair but the truth is always the right thing to do.

Answer 3

You did the right thing by being honest with him! He is likely hurt and embarrassed, which is a reaction that is normal. Things are different now, and you will need to give him some time. Send him one last email telling him that you won't contact him again, and he can contact you when he is ready. Tell him how you feel (guilty) and why. Friendship becoming more can be very tricky, and he had to have known that before telling you how he felt. Just give him some time...

Answer 4

You should not feel guilty, you did the right thing. What would he rather you do, carry on even though you have no feelings for and eventually break his heart anyway? I would leave him for a while, he will need to get over this but maybe try and explain to him, via e-mail / letter, exactly why you ended it and that you did not want to hurt him. At least you ended it, rather than string him along.

Answer 5

I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about hun. You tried the relationship thing and it didn't work out for you. It's better to be honest than string someone along anyway. I think you did the right thing. His ego is probably bruised so it might take him some time to talk to you again. If he can't come around, then maybe this friendship wasn't that important to him.

Answer 6

You should leave him to cool off then see if he can manage to be friends again. He may only have been your friend with the intention of asking you out when he worked up the courage and when you said it wasnt working, he may not want to be friends anymore. Dont ever feel guilty for not giving someone else what they want, when its not what you want too. You handled it very well by the sound of it, you were honest which is a great quality in a person.

Answer 7

ive had that problem where i tried to like a friend that i knew for years then out of the blue he tried to have sex with me and i told him straight up, nothing has happened all this time for a reason he was too skinny and just not my type and yea he took a lil wrong and we really dont talk anymore but thats just how it is if u turn friends into more than u cant really go back to friends especially if he still has feelings for you, you wont be able to bring your next man around him in a comfortable way , just tell him your sorry , not to take it that way or maybe just try to introduce him to someone else, or send him a cute little email card not too lovey dovey though just so he knows u still care

Answer 8

You did the right thing by being honest and up-front. He is naturally embarrased, so just give him some time. It would have been far worse had you strung him along. I don't know how old you are, but it is a sign of real maturity that you can be TRUE TO YOURSELF. Your guilty feelings are also normal, but they too will fade. It isn't easy to do the right thing. Now you are one step closer to knowing what you want in a permanent partner.

Answer 9

Don't feel guilty! You did absolutely the right thing by telling him the truth.

He's either embarrassed, hurt, or both. Give him some time and space to get over it. If he does get over it, he'll come back around. If not, oh well.

That's always the risk you take by dating a friend. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

Answer 10

You should not feel guilty. He needs to respect the fact you told him the truth most girls would drag the relationship into the ground. Just email him that you are sorry he is upset but he needs to respect you that you care enough about him to tell him the truth. Then let it go if he calls you he calls if not let it go.