Recently learned my fiance has had more sex partners in the past year than most people have in a lifetime. Out of nowhere, they promise that it is behind them. Yet they were screwing casually even in the same month I met them. I'm stuck in the rut that once promiscuous, always promiscuous. Not only did they have partners overlap, say person A one day, person B two days later, then back to A or C at the end of the week...confused morally and emotionally! Especially given the menage a trois (involving another woman the woman's boyfriend) I love my fiance, yet they disgust me to no end. What they've done, I want no part of..I feel betrayed because they lied to me completely until I discovered a video that was on their computer, in which one of the casual sex partners did what these type people do...
2007-12-12 02:21:07 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
6 partners is more than most people have in a lifetime?
2007-12-12 02:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A big part of marriage is the ability to control oneself from those sorts of temptations, and "forsake all others".
From what you say, I'm thinking he has trouble in the self control department. You could very well see more of that sort of thing after marriage. If you love him and want to continue with him, then a VERY LONG engagement is called for. He needs to prove his word.
The fact that there is a video is even more disturbing. Did the "actors" seem as if they knew they were on camera or were they seemingly unaware? Are you sure that you have never been made an "actor" against your wishes and nothing you don't want to exist isn't sitting on a computer somewhere? Very important to be sure about this.
Also, go to a Dr. make sure you are still healthy.
2007-12-12 02:36:10 · answer #2 · answered by Hetep 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're having this kind of moral issue with your partner at this point in your relationship I'd suggest re-evaluating it completely.
Now I'm not exactly sure what your question is, but it seems to me you need to sit down and talk to your Fiance' about it, let them know your feelings about it.
When it comes down to it the past is the past, to love someone you have to have some connection, some trust, some admiration and respect, atleast in my opinion. If you cannot look past their past sex life and look toward the future you may need to be looking at taking a step back instead of a step forward.
The best advice I can give is to talk about it, the worst thing to do, and I know from personal expirience, is let something that bothers you go unvoiced, it festers and becomes a much bigger issue then it should be.
2007-12-12 02:30:24 · answer #3 · answered by Sparky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the issue here is whether or not you can accept your fiance's sexual preferences. From what you've written, perhaps its best to break off the engagement and fall in love with someone who is better suited to monogamy.
Either way, it is definitely apparent that you are unhappy with this situation and the other person in your life prefers to continue with multiple sex partners. Therefore, I do not see, based on what you've said so far, how you can make a happy marriage out of this. Even if he or she stopped today, the thought and memory of the sexual activity, which you do not approve of, would be a future stumbling block to long-term happiness.
2007-12-12 02:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by krollohare2 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if your fiance has had so many partners in the past year...how long have you been together to already be engaged??I would really take a step back and think about whether or not this person is someone you should be with. Good luck!
2007-12-12 02:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by auntieuhoh828 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude. I particularly have a similar freaking subject! i understand the type you sense. i'm 13 years previous. ha ha, what facilitates me is putting a night easy. I additionally pray to God to guard me. possibly placed up a holy image on your room to guard you, given which you're non secular however. it extremely is totally no longer straight forward to make your concepts no longer think of of frightening issues attempting to get you. Like if i hear a boost or crack, i immediately freak out and picture somethings going to get me. yet I would desire to share a mattress with my 2 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous brother so as that facilitates too. yet once you do not have a youthful sibling, possibly sleep with a cat or canines. attempt doing a splash work out too, so as that when you hit the pillow, you flow to sleep. i actually desire that facilitates, you spot, i've got no longer gotten off that subject the two, yet while my brother has to sleep with my moms and dads or something, i take advantage of that technique.
2016-10-11 03:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Red flag sweetie pack ur bags and run he dont deserve u and theres smone out there that will love u and treat u with respect this is going to make ur life miserable for the rest of your life and u are not going to be happy and happiness and trust in a relationship is very valuable and if u dont have it then u need to back off.
2007-12-12 02:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by sxcboooty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is something you cant personally handle, talk to your fiance about this. You have the right to voice out your concern after all, you will be spending the rest of your life with him. A past is a past but there's no guarantee that he might change his old habits - old habits die hard.
You have a different values and beliefs from him which is GOOD... There's TOO many people screwing around these days and you never know about aids/stds. best of luck to you.
2007-12-12 02:25:28 · answer #8 · answered by mitchchan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you people keep getting hung up on the past!! You need to focus on the present and the future. Past sexual exp has no place in a relationship.
2007-12-12 02:26:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
6 partners in this era>Don't get out much>He should never admit it that's>embarrassing>It's not how many you had it's what you have learned>As you will never ware it out>??Experience is the knowledge of life>
2007-12-12 02:31:56 · answer #10 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋