I have been married to my husband for 4 years. We've been together for 5. My daughter was an infant when we got together. He has been there for her since the day we got together. Her biologiacl father is a dead beat and has been in and out of her life since she was born. He calls her maybe once or twice a year, and he doesn't help me support her financially. My husband absolutely adores her and he has always referred to her as his daughter...and she has always called him daddy. He would do anything for her. He always makes sure she has everything she needs. He is a father to her in every sense of the word, except biologically. Do you think I should ask him if he would like to adopt her? If so, how? If not, what are your reasons? Afterall, he is daddy.
2007-12-12 01:57:01 · 8 answers · asked by Tristan Robert Due March 20 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I adopted my ex-wife's children, a boy, and a girl. They were three & one years old respectively. It was one of the best things I've ever done in my life. They are "my kids" no matter what the DNA is. I also have a step-son from my second marriage. All three are mine in every sense. I'm sure that your husband would love to adopt your daughter. Her "real" dad will have to sign away all parental rights to her first. Wasn't a problem in my case, but ya never know how someone will react to that. It could be a struggle to get it done, but speaking from what I have done, it's totally worth it.
2007-12-12 03:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Haz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a legal decision as well as an emotional one. Her bio father must give up parental rights. You need a lawyer to represent you in court. This is legally binding, so if you were to divorce, he would be responsible for child support. Years ago, you also had to adopt her but that may have changed.
My mother remarried when I was 3 and her new husband adopted my brother and I. Because of our young ages, this man has been the only father my brother ever knew. I however remember my real father(who died). Because of how my mother and my real fathers family handled things it was a living hell growing up.
I love this man, he's my dad. But he was nothing like my fathers family, and I am nothing like his. He did nothing wrong, he worked himself like a dog to provide a more than average family life. He's always loved me and considered me his daughter, and while he and my mother treat the two sons with favoritism, he never treated the daughters differently than each other(they had 4more kids).
You don't mention where your daughters fathers family is at in all this. I would think grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins would also be a consideration.
What ever decision you guys make, make it in your child's best interest and ask her what she wants to do. She's old enough to decide.
2007-12-12 02:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. That would be great and I would encourage it, but only if the following are true:
a. Her biological father truly is a deadbeat - and it is NOT due to parental alienation on your part
b. That you still provide your daughter with contact with her biological father because no matter what her biological father will always be one of her daddys in life.
2007-12-12 02:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Dina K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is "Daddy", but the biological father would have to sign away his parental rights in order for this to happen.
I am not trying to discourage you, I think it is a great idea. Just want you to know what trials you may find ahead of you if you do. Singe you have never gotten any child support from the biological father, it might be easier to make this happen.
2007-12-12 02:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by Nilea 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First you have to get the biological father to give up his rights to his daughter. That can be very hard to do in some cases. But if you can get him to then it isn't a big deal to have your husband adopt her. Mostly paperwork and fees involved. It can be quite expensive in some areas though.
2007-12-12 02:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by just me 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him one day how he would feel if he would like to make it legal for him to be the father of your daughter. He already takes care of her, you two are married, etc. You say your daughter is now 5 and that you've been married for 4 years. Why havent you approached him prior to adopt her?
Is your marriage solid. No signs of seperating, divorce, cheating, etc? If you two are in for the long haul, definitely ask. I dont see him saying no.
2007-12-12 02:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definitely ask your husband about that. It would be such a good thing. My brother-in-law married a girl who had two children from a previous marriage, and he adopted them. It worked out beautifully. The children are now grown, and they are all still very close.
2007-12-12 02:06:45 · answer #7 · answered by cynthiajean222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is more of a dad than t he bio dad....and yes, i would ask him, but the bio dad has to give up his parental rights, first.....i would probably talk to the bio dad about it, first, and then talk to your partner.....but i definitly would take steps to have him adopt her....if you are secure with him ....be glad you have him...he sounds like a winner....
2007-12-12 02:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by marcellahanseth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋