I've been seeing someone for about 5 months and she is becoming pushy about us living together. I'm not ready to live with her and don't know for sure if I ever will be. It seems woman always want to push and push until eventually you do what they want or just end it. Should I know for sure after 5 months?
2007-12-12 01:53:49 · 26 answers · asked by DeFalco 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, not after only 5 months. Just tell her that you need some more time. If she keeps pushing it, she isn't the one for you....
2007-12-12 01:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are like that...I dated a man that was talking about how good his couch would look in my living room on our second date - dumped him the next day.
I think you should know if you want a relationship to move to the next level after 5 months, but that doesn't necessarily mean living together. Be honest with her and tell her that you are not ready for that. When she freaks out (and sounds like she will), tell her that you have the right to feel the way you do, and if she wants the relationship to work, she will respect that. Assure her that you like the relationship the way it is now (IF you feel that way). Maybe take a step such as taking a vacation together. No matter what you say, she is going to be upset that you don't want to go to HER next level, but maybe a compromise could hold the relationship together.
Talk to her...Good Luck!
2007-12-12 02:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by takemymulligan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, five months is way too soon. Perhaps you should tell her that the pushy nagging behavior is turning you off and give her a chance to get a grip, that is, if you like her enough.
Unfortunately, a good majority of single women fit into this catagory and sadly, few will learn that this type of behavior will send a man running for the hills.
I had a girlfriend that would tell men on her first date that she wanted a relationship and then would wonder why she never got a second date.
2007-12-12 02:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by sleepingliv 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all women are this way. When I first started to date my current boyfriend he was the one pushing to know if we were dating exclusively and then if he was my boyfriend. I was the one avoiding the conversation until I was sure that was what I wanted. This is just a personality trait. It sounds like she is in needs some reassurance that you really do care for her. From what you are saying it sounds like she may be picking up on the fact that you aren't certain if she's the one for you.
2007-12-12 02:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by Imbue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 months is TOO SOON
BUT.....it is in our nature to be like this. It truly is we just can't help it. As women we are running on a biological clock and while we may not know we are doing this it is like an instinct. men can make babies long past women and that's why yall don't see a need to rush. It's all part of chemistry and genes. and THAT is a fact
However you shouldn't feel the need to rush and NO you shouldn't know for sure after 5 months. I know.......We ARE difficult. Bless you men who can put up with us!!!
2007-12-12 02:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For her sake I hope you are honest with her that you don't think you'll ever want to live with someone, so she can get out now!!
It sounds like you are a commitment-phobe! Once you mature a bit and are ready to settle down, you will be ready to take a relationship to the next level without anyone having to "push" you.
2007-12-12 01:58:38 · answer #6 · answered by Shana B 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe in love at first sight. However, with some people it takes months. After five months you should know if it is love. If it is then move in. You can wait another six months, then move in and move out a week later. There is no guarantee and it doesn't really matter how long you spend thinking about it. Apparently you don't want to live with her or you would have already moved in.
2007-12-12 01:58:55 · answer #7 · answered by aimee4frogs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not in the wrong but she , on the other hand, may be looking to start the American Dream with the picket fence and babies. If you think you aren't ready, then be honest and tell her. She will more than likely feel bad but the truth will be out there between you two. You may want to move on.
2007-12-12 01:58:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree...not all women want that. My boyfriend keeps joking about a comment I made early on about not having a man around so much that he becomes 'under foot'.
Communication is key...if your partner is looking for more and you know you're not going to want that with them, let them go find it with someone who will. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
2007-12-12 01:57:50 · answer #9 · answered by Gin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you can't talk you surely don't need to live together. Why not try a little honesty? Tell her what you told us.
That would be a refreshing and novel approach for a man.
2007-12-12 01:59:02 · answer #10 · answered by pinky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋