Am I a horrible mother for not letting the dentist put my child to sleep?

Question

My son, who will be 5 years-old tomorrow, is having some dental problems. It seems that his saliva is very acidic so he has already developed cavaties, which need to be filled. The dentist asked if we would consider having him put under to have the procedures done and my husband and I said no.

Some people are telling me we're cruel and that he will be scarred for life from this experience. He had to have an MRI done when he was nine-months-old and they had to put him to sleep for that - I was a nervous reck the whole time. I just don't see going through all of that again just to have cavaties filled. What do you think?

Answer 1

Your son is 5 and old enough to understand the need for healthy teeth.

Anesthesia is very dangerous, and the younger you are the MORE dangerous it is- children, and people, die from it every day.

If you are at a good dentist they will completely numb him up so he doesnt feel a thing except pressure.

We've all had cavities filled, and most of us who go to newer good dentists have had NO pain during or after the procedure.

I think you're an excellent mother.

Answer 2

How bad are the cavities? And how much work has to be done? If its a lot of work put your child to sleep. When my daughter had several cavities, (2yr) I had them put her to sleep so they did it all in one visit. I was a nervouse wreck also. I hated it. But I have to tell you, I rather do that than what I put my 4 year old through. They gave him a sedative that gives the same effect as being drunk! The doctor said it would help him not to remember what happened. They used a wrap that held his hands and legs together. His head was strapped as well. I'm nervouse and anxciouse as I remember. My son was crying and screaming the whole time he was being worked on. They let me stay in the room only if I didn't interfere or talk to him. I was clenching my hands and teath the whole time!!!!!!!!!! I hated it and never want to repeat that again. Just to see my son wimper and moan and cry and not be able to do nothing about it, was breaking my heart. When we went home he slept it off and was ok (thank God).. Today I ask him about it and he doesn't remember a thing. He just remembers the prize bag and balloon they gave him.

Its so hard to make a descision of what way is best. I have been there twice. I also remember reading that putting a child under anestetic can in some cases cause death. When I decided I would put my daughter under anesticia (sleep) I thought she would be able to handle it better than what my son when through. I felt like I had no other choice. When going to a private dentist or practice my insurance wouldn't cover the anesticia which would cost 1000 dolars. So I searched for another place and found a hospital like setting where all the children were put to sleep to get work done. And my insurance did cover the cost of putting my daughter to sleep. I felt a little better being that it was in a hospital setting. I wasn't allowed to be in the room which I didn't like. Other than that the worst part was the doctor giving her the shot on the arm so she would go to sleep in our arms (she didn't cry). My husband cried when she went limp in his arms and then had to hand her over. It was a terrible feeling. She had a blank look on her face and her eyes were half way opened. The doctor warned us about what would happen and I Knew what to expect. So it wasn't as shocking but still hard to see your child go through that. She came out ok afterwards thank God.

We have a third child who is 2 and we, floss, brush morning and night. The same with our older children. There is no way we willl go through this again.

By the way caveties do spread to other teeth. That is sad truth. I also learned that sharing cups with sibblings is not a good idea because it could spread to the other child as well. God help you make the right descision for your little one.

Answer 3

People who say that you are cruel are just out of their mind. A 5 year old is perfectly capable of handling having a cavity drilled and filled. Heck, my cousin's son managed it at age 3! I agree with you and your husband. I was sick FOR DAYS after having gas one time (new dentist - I was in my 20s). I since found out that most dentists don't have all that much training for this form of anesthesia. Not something I will EVER do again.

For a 5 year old, I'd try to limit it to only 2 cavities filled at a time at most.

Answer 4

I'm not a mother, but I work as a Nanny for a 2, 4 and 6 yr old. All girls. The 6 yr. old has had 2 cavities filled already and she was a nervous wreck. Her mother was in the same situation as you-put her to sleep or not. She decided not to b.c. of the dangers. Instead she ended up staying in the room, and talking for almost 2 hours. It took a long time but they got it done. If it was my child, I guess it would also depend on how scared they got, I wouldn't want my child hurting him or herself by wiggling around.

good luck...
& remember your the parents, go with your gut...what would u want at that age?

~Sarah

Answer 5

I agree w/ you. I think it's unnecessary for kids to be put to sleep for dental procedures. It is scary, but the dentist can still numb their mouth without them having to be asleep. The shots hurt, but it's better than risking them being put to sleep. You aren't being cruel, I was never put to sleep for cavities as a child, most people haven't been. This is something new dentist are doing now, & I just think kids are too young & at too much of a risk to have that done unnessasarily.
Also, make sure your child brushes their teeth every day, twice a day, in the morning & before bed. And don't give your child much sugary foods/candy/pop. You can help prevent this by enforcing that.

Answer 6

No way, you are doing the exact right thing. General anaesthetics are dangerous. Sometimes they are fatal. Why take the extra risk for something which can be done perfectly safely under a local anaesthetic? Your son is old enough to understand what will happen and why - and maybe having a somewhat unpleasant procedure (though not painful) will make him more inclined to brush his teeth really well in the future, since it sounds like he's especially vulnerable to problems.

Definitely time for a bribe, though. Don't pretend that what is going to happen will be enjoyable for him, but make sure he knows there will be a big treat at the end. Not sweets!

Answer 7

This is a tough one for me because my twin son Thomas had this trouble he was 8 at the time and we and the dentist chose to have him put to sleep.. for us the best i think Thomas has severe autism and would never have coped or sat still, Thomas was great after being put to sleep he came home as if nothing had happened I'm not sure if he was aware as to what he had done, its you child and its your decision to make no one elses, if Thomas had to go again i would do the same again, as long as you think your child will cope with whats happening without panicking and being scared then he should be OK

Answer 8

You're a wonderful mother, you care for your child and I feel for you, my son had to be put to sleep for some procedures, won't get into details, but the whole time I was sitting by myself in the waiting room crying because I saw fear in his eyes, when they were putting him down on the bed, then they injected the needle, it was horrible, and I wouldn't want to go through that again. There was incidents that children did die because of dentists that put too much of the stuff to suddate u. I go to the pediatric dentists and they never put kids to sleep they give them nitrox(its like laughing gas i think), they get to pick the noses that go on their noses with different scents and stuff. My other son had to have his teeth taken out one dentist told me they'd have to put him to sleep because he's not cooperating which he was, he's great at the dentist, so I changed the dentists, and I am very pleased with the one we chose. It's always a chance when you put someone to sleep, so don't worry you're a good and caring mother.

Answer 9

my son is 5 and also had to have cavities filled, they did not put him to sleep and he was fine. They will probably give him laughing gas and that will take any edge off. Also make sure that you can stay in the room with him, just stay out of the way and hold his hand. Remember that his mouth will be numb after and might bite his tongue. I had my son eat soup for lunch, but waited a couple of hours.

Answer 10

No you are a good mother. There was a child in my town just last year that died from anesthesia administered for a dental procedure. He will have to get used to having his teeth worked on anyway - he will see it's nothing to be afraid of after this experience.