Do you Backbite or do you avoid it ?

Question

Allah says in Quran - sura 104
1. Woe to every kind of scandal-monger and backbiter.
2. Who piles up wealth and hoards it
3 Thinking that his wealth would make him last for ever!

Three vices have been condemned here.

What do you do if a group is backbiting.

Answer 1

I can't say that I have never backbited, this is a part of Human nature, we are all sinners.

If you are at a gathering where people are backbiting (even if you are not participating) then you will still be accounted for it. Try and encourage your friends to stop backbiting and if they are Muslim, explain to them that this is major sin, even worse than zinna (adultery.) There is a hadith closest to it's meaning which states one who backbites, is like eating the flesh of his brother Muslim.

Good luck.

Answer 2

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting) . And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful."
Holy Quran 49:12

this shows how backbitting is bad

if i was with a group and they backbite someone, then i've to do the following:

1- i've to defend him as much as i can. To tell them that this is forbiden even if what they were was true

2- if they didn't stop, then i must leave. i don't want to share the sin with them.

if i fall in the sin of backbitting then i've to regret and ask Allah for forgiveness

Answer 3

I try to avoid it Alhamdulillah I have come far (",). However I am human and sometimes I fall into error, but I try and rectfy my mistakes by refelecting on them and realising it is something which does not please Allah (swt)

Well I was in this situation the other day. I was sat at the hospital and a women came and sat next to me, I gave her Salaam and people were going past, she said things about them which were not good, so I responded in a polite manner and said what they choose to do is up to them, we should not say anything about them as it doesn't concern us, and Allah (swt) has warned us about this (",)

Answer 4

if a group is backbiting me, i would be happy, because i would be looking at the bright side, which is that i will get hasanat because they didnt affect my feelings, and that they would wish they were muslims/non-backbiters on the day of judgment

Answer 5

well, years back I used to, means being in a group, nothing starting by myself but now no more. even if m talking about someone on their back, I have the guts to say the same in front of them. Discussing about someone behind is different and gossiping about them is different and forbidden so better to avoid.
The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "The tale bearer shall not enter the Paradise"
al-Hafiz al-Munziri said: 'Muslim Ummah have agreed that carrying tales is forbidden.' [ al-Zawajir ]
al-Gheebah (back biting) means speaking ill of the people in their absence. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) himself defined the meaning of al-Gheebah and said: "Do not mention something about your brother (in his absence) that he would hate. Somebody said, what if what I say about my brother is true? He said: If what you said about him is true then you would have backbitten him and if it is not true, then you would have slandered him." [ Muslim ]
Therefore, a Muslim is not allowed to listen to a person who speaks ill of people or carries their tales. Doing so helps him to practice evil and assists him to play with the dignity of people. If the backbiter does not have anyone to listen to him he will not continue doing so. Allah says: {And it has already been revealed to you in the Book (this Qur'ân) that when you hear the Verses of Allâh being denied and mocked at, then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them….. } [4:140]

Answer 6

I am trying my best to avoid it. But everytime I realized I have done it because I am only human, I ask forgiveness from Allah and to the person concerned.

Answer 7

i try really hard to avoid it even though they keep asking me and asking me, but some times. i am not going to lie i slip up =(

Answer 8

He who truly knows is the one in whom sound actions, pure supplications, truthfulness and precaution speak out; not his tongue, his debates, his comparisons, assertions or claims. In times other than these, those who sought knowledge were those who had intellect, piety, wisdom, modesty and caution; but nowadays we see that those who seek it do not have any of these qualities. The man of knowledge needs intellect, kindness, compassion, good counsel, forbearance, patience, contentment and generosity; while anyone wishing to learn needs a desire for knowledge, will, devotion (of his time and energy), piety, caution, memory and resolution.

Only those of His servants who are possessed of knowledge fear Allah. (35:28)

Men of knowledge are ruined by eight things: greed and miserliness, showing off and partisanship, love of praise, delving into things whose reality they cannot reach, affectation by taking excessive pains to beautify their speech with superfluous expressions, lack of modesty before Allah, boastfulness, and not acting upon what they know.

The Holy Prophet (s) said, 'Do not sit with every presumptuous caller who summons you from certainty to doubt, from sincerity to showing off, from humility to pride, from good counsel to enmity, and from abstinence to desire. Draw near to the person with knowledge, who summons you from pride to humility, from showing off to sincerity, from doubt to certainty, from desire to abstinence, from enmity to good counsel.' None are fit to preach to creation except that person who has gone beyond these evils by his truthfulness. He sees the faults of speech and knows what is sound from what is unsound, the defectiveness of thoughts, and the temptations of the self and his fancies.

'Ali said, 'Be like the kind, compassionate doctor who places the remedy where it will be of benefit.' They asked ‘Isa (Jesusà(s), 'With whom shall we sit, O Spirit of Allah?' 'With one the sight of whom reminds you of Allah,' he replied, 'and whose speech increases you in knowledge, and whose actions make you desire the next world.'

Answer 9

i avoid it.