...have you really indicated to them that they have snatched a bit of the deceased person's soul and kept it for their own? And, are they under any obligation to give it back even though they are suffering sorrow? Or have you misled them and there is actually nothing in their heart except muscles, neurons, valves, connective tissue, plasma and blood cells?
Is there true comfort in a lie?
2007-12-12 00:54:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I don't know about anyone else, but my lost loved ones will always live on in my mind, and my love for them in my heart, until I die.
Edit: That's funny, (((You know me))); you said very clearly exactly what I was trying to say :)
(((Sips)))
2007-12-12 00:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 18⤊ 0⤋
I read a Douglas Hofstadter (an AI researcher) book where he actually had a theory on this. He thinks that our minds are essentially like computer programs, and that when you are close to someone you "copy" a rudimentary version of that program. In that sense, people who you love that die are always with you, and you haven't taken anything away from them.
I don't know if I agree. I think he came up with the idea to help him cope with the loss of his wife.
Anyway, I think there can be true comfort in a lie as long as the person comforted doesn't discover that it's a lie. But, I don't think you should lie to someone to comfort them.
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
Death is a very difficult subject, especially for Americans. This culture is so geared for youth and beauty such that death and age have become "disgraceful" subjects to speak about. We sweep our aged parents behind the doors of "skilled nursing facilities" (used to be called nursing homes) and we make up all kinds of words about death (think of all the euphemisms out there from kicking the bucket to passed away) so that we don't have to say death, dying, dead.
Aging and death are natural by products of life that no one can escape. I believe that it is the saddest thing in my experience that I have to become my patient's best friend at the end of life because their friends and family are so uncomfortable with the death and dying of a loved one that they stay away.
What are the best things to say? Not platitudes. Sometimes silence - holding a hand, hugging, just being there are better than words. Developing the ability to be comfortable with silence is difficult. If you have to say something -- why not "I am so sorry for your loss"?
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cinthia Round house kicking VT 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When I speak of the "heart" in that sort of figurative way I'm always refering to the emotional part of my memories. The part of my memories that evoke love and happiness. But of course its funny to think that someone could actually believe that one could grab a piece of something as intangible (and as fake, to us skeptics) as a soul.
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone you loved very, very much passes away ... I am not sure there is anything you can really say to make someone "feel better".
I think people take comfort in their memories, old photographs, or by remembering the person and honoring their memory ......
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've never said anything like that, but I don't think it's a lie. Of course it's not literal...it's just a figure of speech. Carrying the thoughts and memories of a loved one with you can be comforting, this is just another way of saying it.
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel loves lasagna 4 · 17⤊ 0⤋
What to you want to prove with such a neurasthénical question ? Try to be more simple..it would be better for everybody
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by Maïté 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I never say this to anyone.
I tell them that there are no words that can heal their pain and that I am aware that there is nothing I can do to ease their pain and situation, but yet if it is possible I gladly would.
And I mean it.
2007-12-20 13:31:16 · answer #8 · answered by larissa 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Me i said to my dying son if god will not accept him in heaven i will make my own heaven for my son?
2007-12-20 13:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say this, as an atheist...
Well, more or less, if you keep them in your memory, then they are never really dead...
Basically it's my way of consoling since i don't buy the whole "they're in a better place" crap, or "we'll all be resurrected in the spirit of the lord"
it's my way of consoling...
2007-12-20 13:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋