English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

She's always saying things to my wife like, "you know, you really need to get your daughter baptized." Then, almost in the same breath, she tells her son (who is married to a Jewish woman) "I don't know what you see in that Jewish woman." LOL!!

Anyway, we just got a package in the mail, and it's a freaking Nativity Scene. There's no way I'm setting that stupid thing up.

My wife won't stand up to this garbage, and I've had enough. What should I do?

2007-12-11 23:53:08 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Religion & Spirituality

29 answers

Take away her visiting privileges.

2007-12-11 23:56:26 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 4 2

For starters, you have to set boundaries.

However, what are your beliefs? Are you a Christian? If not, are you Jewish? If not, what's your deal, then? You obviously have no problem with your wife's beliefs, and you have no problem with your mother's either (the issue you seem to have is with her interference, not her beliefs). She is your mother so it is not you wife's responsibility to stand up to her (she is actually following the Jewish law in this matter, so cut her a break).

If you're an 'atheist', aren't you supposed to let your kids decide for themselves? That's what I keep reading in here when kids and religion are discussed.....

2007-12-12 00:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by capitalctu 5 · 1 0

Since your wife is Jewish, your kids are too.
Does it really come as a surprise to you that your mom is trying to push her religion on your wife? Before you got married, did you actually think this would NOT be a problem?
Men and women are different enough; they might as well share the same religion, as that makes life easier.
Have you thought of converting to Judaism?
-just in case, for a rabbi near you:
http://www.chabad.org/centers/default_cdo/aid/15676/jewish/Advanced-Search.htm

2007-12-12 01:29:24 · answer #3 · answered by kismet 7 · 2 1

She probably wants more children herself and can't anymore. That happens a lot when women get older sometimes. It is you and your husband's decision and they need to respect that. Tell her while you understand her wish to have another grandchild, that it is not what you and your husband want. With the economy it would make it very hard to afford another child and you and your husband do not feel comfortable doing so. She will eventually either get the message or when you send her a note saying that your tubal ligation went well, she will get it knocked into her. good luck.

2016-05-23 04:56:36 · answer #4 · answered by machelle 3 · 0 0

That's funny, didn't you just ask a question awhile ago about being Jehovah's Witness? And if it's your mom who is pushing the Christianity, why did you call her a mother-in-law, and why would your wife need to be the one to stand up to her? This is a really confusing question. hmmmm

2007-12-12 00:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1 0

Just remind her that Jesus lived and died a practising Jew, and he never stated that the eternal covenant between G-d and the Jews was to be set aside nor replaced.

ALSO - as she's given you a nativity scene, why don't you buy her a menorah.....? Fight fire with fire!

I would suggest, as a Jew myself, that you and your wife try and handle it all with as much humour as possible.

Your children are Jewish, as their mother is Jewish. You and your wife need to take a firm stance on what sort of religious education you want for them.

A good start is the website http://www.whatjewsbelieve.org/

Good luck..... !

2007-12-12 00:24:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

You could try explaining to her that even Jesus was not baptised as a Child! Baptism is an acceptance of faith it is when you AGREE to serve God-that not once do we read of any infants’ being baptized, much less a command to that effect. What negligence on the part of Jesus and his apostles not to warn parents of the eternal misery that would await their children if they died before being baptized, as some teach, if such were actually the case! The very silence of the Scriptures in this respect is strong circumstantial evidence that infants were neither baptized nor considered as fit subjects for baptism.
Baptism was for those who repented and accepted the truth heartily. Infants can do neither.—Acts 2:41, NW.

Maybe you could accept the nativity scene but mention to her that as a Christian she should follow the example set by Christ and allow the Children to decide for themselves if they wish to become a follower or not?
You could even give the children a Bible and say to her that you are sure that if they wish to learn more you will not stop them, but it will be THIER choice not hers.

2007-12-12 00:07:48 · answer #7 · answered by ditto 2 · 2 3

Your dismay about the nativity scene reminds me of our rabbi who was equally dismayed when a local church called him to inquire where they could find a lamb for their manger scene!

Good luck with the in-laws. Just remember that *you* are in control of *you.* It's *you* who allows her to make your blood boil. Have fun thinking of devious ways you can respond. That may relieve the tension whether or not you actually carry them out.

Aren't you glad we have such a *short* Xmas season? LOL
.
.
.

2007-12-12 03:15:09 · answer #8 · answered by Hatikvah 7 · 1 0

Nothing you can do it is up to your wife to deal with her mom, the same way it would be up to you to deal with your family. So she mailed you a gift you don't like. Don't use it if you feel that strong about it. Bottom line you can not stop her from giving her op ion but you do not have to listen or take it.

2007-12-12 01:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1 1

Did you know your mom-in-law was Christian when you married your wife? I understand you're frustrated, but that's who she is, and it's part of the culture of your children's family. Asking a Christian not to talk to their grandkids about Christianity is like asking an Italian granny not to sing to them in Italian or make them lasagna.

You're still the parents, and you can talk to your kids about your own beliefs. You can decide if they get baptized or not. But don't expect your mom-in-law to conform to who you are, she's part of your family, and part of your kids' family.

PS- I do think picking at her daughter-in-law is pretty mean... if she has a problem with her there's no sense in complaining about it now, they're already married. On that issue I'd just tell her you want to keep things peaceful so you'd appreciate her not making those comments.

2007-12-12 00:22:24 · answer #10 · answered by Lamborama 5 · 0 4

You have to tell your mil firmly, but politely, that she needs to back off. I think you, your wife, and your daughter should talk about it before you do it. That way, you'll have their support before you speak to your mil.

2007-12-12 00:43:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

fedest.com, questions and answers