He says that it was all my idea and that I wanted to have a threesome with another guy really bad and suggested it. I do get wild when I'm drunk so it's possible that I did initiate it all but I don't even remember! If he remembers, shouldn't he have been to rationalize that it was wrong? The scary thing is that I do remember crying and hitting him and asking him why he let this happen that same night but it's all very faint. I also know that they were talking about someone having XTC so could they have slipped it to me? This is a bf of 8 YEARS! It isn't some casual, short-term relationship. This is the guy that I thought loved me with all his heart and I'm so confused. He keeps calling me since it happened and telling me not to worry and that no one remembers anything or no one is talking. Is is possible they raped me? I do have tons of bruises and I don't recall how I got them. I know that I have a serious drinking problem but he rarely drinks. What do you think of this?
2007-12-11 23:47:15 · 28 answers · asked by jessica 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this sounds bad...i would get away from this guy quickly....sounds like they took advantage of you when you were drunk...
2007-12-11 23:50:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Getting drunk and loosing control is not good; too many bad things can happen. HOWEVER, in my opinion there is nothing wrong with or having a threesome. They can be fun.
If your guy and you have been in a relationship for 8 years he is not going to not love you now nor you him. This has probably opened a new door to your relationship. I am not saying it is a bad door either, it can be a very exciting and fun one. The one thing you must do however is be sure that you and he put your relationship first over all others. Sex with others is just that "sex" and nothing else. I have a motto I live by: Love lasts; Sex washes off".
Talk to your partner about this incident and both of you decide what direction you want your lives to go in. Was it a one time thing or is it something you both would like to pursue.
Here is a site that may give you some help in making a wise decision: http://www.libchrist.com/poly/contents.html
go through several of the topic areas and use the knowledge as an aid to better understandings.
2007-12-12 00:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Child!!! Well this is might haunt you forever... Hopefully your relationship will be strong enough, if you think it is worth it, but you both have to put that in the farthest back part of your head & not bring it up.... I'm sure you are wondering WHY WHY WHY didn't someone stop it. But everybody must have been very very bad drunk & people do a lot of things when they are drunk, so don't think you are bad person, just take this as a lesson and never, ever get that drunk again!!!. It's possible they may have done some things they don't want anyone to know about also and want to forget too. Today I think it is common, not good, but common. I'm just saying whats done is done and it will be OK. But you can't it eat your soul till you go crazy!!! Some people kill people, accidentally & on purpose, when they are drunk. So I don't think you did the worst thing in the world.
2007-12-11 23:52:26 · answer #3 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say it but it does not look promising for the boyfriend of 8 years - sounds as though he may have succumbed to his peer guy friends for a "gang bang". The fact that you have that many bruises and can't remember clearly the pain or events suggests that they probably drugged you -- and all while your boyfriend of 8 YEARS who rarely drinks? If he was sober at all and this was all your idea, he would not have let it happen ... I just hope there weren't more guys involved and you don't end up on some website ... and a blood test for any STDs would not hurt. My overall reaction is that I feel sorry for you -- not only does it appear you were a victim but also that your boyfriend of 8 years is a skunk!
2007-12-14 07:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by Adios 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with some below answers. You really should talk to someone about this. I also think that you should lay off the drink and focus on your life. A BF of 8 years should be a protector and not allowing you to do things that will ahrm your reputation, your life or his.
I am telling you no matter how much my wife begged and pleaded and no matter how drunk she might be there is no way I am ever sharing her....If he really loved you he would not want to share you too.
2007-12-12 00:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by shanethomp76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know people on this web site may say rude things about a dude you love but I do really think you should talk to him about the situation if it bothers you so. I think you should learn from this and not drink anymore, if odd situations, like this, come about. You never know, maybe, if you do drink again, it could happen and, maybe it could be worse the next time, you decide to get wild and crazy. So take precautions the next time you drink.
2007-12-11 23:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really disturbing to me, especially when you got to the part about bruises. I am concerned that you very well could have been raped. I think you need to try to get one or both of them to have a very serious conversation with you about what really happened. And you probably need legal counsel, if you feel you were drugged and raped. If time has passed, they can't get a rape kit on you, but as long as your bruises remain you can have pictures taken. It's probably not going to be enough to put either of them away, but you can start a paper trail should either of them be involved in anything else.
I'm also concerned about your admitted drinking problem. Please...seek out some kind of help and don't give anyone the opportunity to take advatage of your inebriated condition again. And you need to get honest with yourself and decide if this is the kind of guy you want to be with. Someone who possibly raped you...and even if it wasn't rape, someone who particiapted in a sexual act with you and another man when you were too drunk to truly consent...
2007-12-11 23:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
i'm questioning if there is greater to this than basically you getting too drunk to understand what exchange into happening to you. i desire date rape drugs weren't in contact in this come across. Now the factor right here is that your boyfriend recollects what got here approximately and he's telling you which you have been soliciting for it. i think of you may desire to get faraway from this boyfriend if that's the style of element that he encourages and that i believe the different solutions asserting that that's rape and reportable too yet you probable do no longer prefer to pass that some distance. sure get some counselling once you unload this spiteful woman which you have been relationship for 8 years.
2016-10-11 03:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you saw the video he recorded you would probably see that you enjoyed yourself..but now you are feeling down. it was probably a wild night for everyone. if you are feeling in a vengeful mood report them to the police and let them guys sort it out! they can get all the answers you require! even if the did not get charged, the police may well get you more answers than you know now! dont let this sit on your mind because it will change the person you are forever! get to the bottom and dont feel ashamed! go girl
2007-12-11 23:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by nyleridedog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, stop yelling rape, honey. When you get drunk and start kissing and grinding and making out with men, don't ***** when you decide to change your mind in the middle of it. That is not rape. You said yourself that you have a serious drinking problem. Go to AA and stop trying to get a fast buck from your "bf".
2007-12-11 23:57:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ecstasy mixed with alcohol is an almost guaranteed epic blackout. It's hard tellin' what happened so I guess just try to salvage the things you wish to keep from this mess i.e., friendships and relationships, and move on a bit wiser.
2007-12-11 23:53:36 · answer #11 · answered by Flavor Vortex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋