... the Rabbi and Priest who decide to buy a new car together? The day after they bought it, the Rabbi found the Priest driving it. The Priest explained that he had just gone to the carwash because in his faith, it was customary to welcome a new member with the rite of baptism. The following day, the Priest observed the Rabbi cutting the end off the car's exhaust pipe.
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Hannah comes home from her afternoon out with her boyfriend Max, looking very unhappy. 'What's the matter?' asks her mother.
'Max has asked me to marry him,' she replies.
'Mazeltov! But why are you looking so sad?' her mother asks, confused.
'Because he also told me he's an atheist. Oh mum, he doesn't even believe in hell!'
Her mother pats her on the shoulder. 'That's all right, Hannah. it isn't a problem. You can marry him, and between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is.'
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2007-12-11 21:21:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel ➔ Africa & Middle East ➔ Israel
SYNAGOGUE SEATING REQUEST FORM
Last year, many of you expressed concern over the seating arrangments in the shul. In order for us to place you in a seat that will best suit you, we ask you to complete the following form and return it to us asap. Please place a tick against your choices:
1) I would prefer to sit in the:
Talking section
Non-talking section
2) If talking, which category do you prefer? Indicate order of interest:
Medicine
What others are wearing
The chazan's voice
Your relatives
Football
The Rabbi
Your neighbours
The situation in Israel
Congregants' secret medical tragedies
3) Who, of the following, would you like to be near for professional advice?
Doctor Dentist
Psychiatrist Child Psychiatrist
Solicitor Architect
Plumber
Golf pro (tentative, we're still trying to find a Jewish one)
Other:
4)Seat location; indicate order of priority:
On the aisle Near the exit
Near a window
2007-12-11 22:01:58 · update #1
Near the bimah
Where nobody on the bimah can see you talking during the service
Near the toilets
Near single men
Finally: please do not place me anywhere near the following people. (if you require more space for your answer, you may wish to consider joining another congregation)
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2007-12-11 22:03:33 · update #2
I chuckled-----!!!
2007-12-11 21:28:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hahahaha, very good first joke...
Synagogue seat request? Hmmm... as long as you place me far away from these women who are always looking for a nice wife for their sons, nephews, friends unmarried sons, etc everything is okay for me....
2007-12-12 01:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anita P 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I like the marriage one. It's funny.
Jasmine- No need to worry. I rated you up, though. There's nothing wrong with what you said. I agree.
2007-12-12 02:55:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
These are definitely worth a chuckle.
2007-12-12 03:08:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mike S 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wrong section.
2007-12-11 21:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
heeelll yaaa!!! mazal-tov for the car hahahaha....nice one
2007-12-11 21:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
first joke was really nice!!LOL
why did I get two thumbs down, all I said was that I like the first joke how is that bad??
2007-12-11 22:26:05 · answer #7 · answered by Jasmine 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
great!!! mazal tov to the car, welcome to judiasm,and i love the checklist!!!
2007-12-12 06:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
nice !!!!
2007-12-11 21:29:49 · answer #9 · answered by abood 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
lol...
2007-12-11 21:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋