My girlfriend of 2 and a half years called me tonight. We were having a good converstaion untill she asked me "would you be mad at me if another guy gave me a back massage?" So I replied "who gave you a back massage", and she said "Just tell me if you would be mad." I finally got her to tell me that a guy mike at her work gave her one, and she told me "it was so nice he went all the way down and *signs*". I told her I was dissapointed because I don't want other guys touching her, and if she wanted a back massage she can ask me for one anytime. But she says her back hurt and I told her that was no excuse because mine hurts as well as I do heavy lifting at my job and I have been sleeping on the floor for the past for nights (I'm waiting for my new bed to arrive) and I havent asked anyone for a back massage but her. It wouldn't have made me as upset, but I know that previously while we were dating a guy from her work has hit her butt, flirts with her, hugs her, and as she says "made her" kiss his neck. She is a hostess at a restaurant so I don't know how he could have "made her" kiss his neck.. but I am getting mad about all of this that is going on at her work. Do I have a right to be upset or am I overreacting? All I told her is I don't want other guys touching her but she wouldnt agree to it..
2007-12-11 16:18:11 · 13 answers · asked by Maxwell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She needs a massage for pain relief, go to a massage parlor and pay for a same sex masseuse. Having a male give her a massage who is not licensed to do so was stimulating to her beyond pain relief. How can you be sure they haven't gone for deeper stimulation. Get on the same page with penalties or dump her.
2007-12-11 16:26:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Maxwell,
No, you are not overreacting. I would have reacted worse. You see, even as your gf insists that the back massage doesn't many mean anything, there is always the risk of "going beyond that". I'm not trying to add fuel to the fire, but that's exactly how some illicit affair starts, from innocent actions. One thing leads to another, then bang! the damage is done. I don't know your gf personally, but there's one thing I'm sure, that "she's human" and any human can fall prey to the temptation of the flesh. Imagine the scenario, you just had a quarrel and her back hurts, then here's this guy who massaged her...she pours out her anger & frustration....I won't finish the story, you know what I mean..Better make a firm stand on this issue. While nothing has happened yet.
Better safe than sorry.
2007-12-11 16:42:20 · answer #2 · answered by BERNARD C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg yes you totally have the right to be upset. that all seems very innappropriate for her to be doing when yall have been together for so long. my boyfriend of almost 2 years now would seriously wound any guy who ever gave me a back massage. there is no telling what he would do if some guy "made me kiss his neck". next time something happens or next time it comes up ask her what she would feel like if some girl was giving you back massages and flirting and what not. I am guessing she wouldnt like it much.
2007-12-11 16:24:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to be upset. She isn't making people respect boundaries and is allowing people to be inappropriate with her. If she didn't want it to happen then she could report it because there is no corporation or industry in the world that condones sexual harassment. So as I've said you have every right something like a back massage is intimiate unless coming from perhaps a family member. What she did was wrong and she is probably sending this guy "mike" mixed signals.
2007-12-11 16:23:22 · answer #4 · answered by ash 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are actually taking this really calmly. My fiance would have probably tracked the guy down and "told" him how it was going to be when it comes to me.
Nobody touches me but him, and nobody touches him but me. Back massages are deff crossing the line....and kisses too? I'd be furious!! and if she thinks its ok for another guy to put his hands all over her, then she clearly isn't taking the relationship as seriously as you are.
Tell her yeah, you are mad and you'd be crazy if you didn't get mad over something like that. Tell her that better not EVER happen again. Tell her you deserve better than that and you are disappointed in her judgement because you wouldn't do that to her.
Be firm. Because if she figures out she can walk all over you, she probably will.
2007-12-11 16:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by Kris W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't overreacting. In fact you are rather calm given the situation. She is a bit of a s lut for doing what she described and is close to cheating on you big time. You should have asked her how she would like it if some girl you worked with did the same for you.
Since she feels it is fine for some guy to touch her like that and to kiss him, then she isn't to be trusted.
2007-12-11 16:22:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey if u r dating a person 4 over 2 years i think u have a right to be upset when other people fall all over her and she doesn't get all "i have a boyfriend" u can get alittle upset. i kno i would if some did that 2 a boyfriend of mine.
hope u work things out.=]
2007-12-11 16:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by Andy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to let that one go and move on to more mature pastures. She is trying to get you to break it off. Then she can play the drama queen by saying you left her. You will know the truth and that is all that matters. Her first problem was telling you about these things, then made it worse by defending bad behavior. Time to move on!
2007-12-11 16:37:14 · answer #8 · answered by bmgh214 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't usually answers questions like that, but I would suggest you that you leave her.
She seems to have a different point of view when it comes to such kind of matters.
I agree with you. If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't accept other people touching her. I'ts wrong.
2007-12-11 16:25:59 · answer #9 · answered by carlosdavid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"made her kiss," what kind of BS story is that? It's her lips, even if he psychically forced her, she should have stood up. Yes, i would be pissed about the back rub, it's one of those things where its just not right. A respectful person in a relationship wouldn't do it.
2007-12-11 16:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by UFGator07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋