She doesn't want to participate when it comes to sharing household responsiblity and when we bring it up to her she becomes real rebellious towards everyone. I feel like the only option we have left to do is lock her out of her room until all the work gets done and her attitude changes to everyone. Please give me other options that our available so we don't have to lock her out of her room.
2007-12-11 16:01:30 · 9 answers · asked by rascoe627 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1. She's acting normal
2. You are doing a great job
3. Suggestions:
1. Take away privileges if she fails to do what she is told (as opposed to locking her out of her room).
2. Make sure you write out all the kids' responsibilities on a sheet of paper and the due date of each responsibility. Make sure she knows she gets NO credit unless she does a good job.
3. Some privileges you can take away include no IPod for a week, no cell phone for a week, no phone for a week, no tv for a week, no stereo for a week, etc....
4. Don't "give in" to her demands and rebelliousness.
5. Explain to her that she is a family member and part of the TEAM, and as a team member you all look out for each other and help each other. She is not a BORDER at your home, she is a team player and must help out.
6. EXPECT that she won't WANT to do it - but give her credit when she does voluntarily do it. Don't be afraid of her.
2007-12-11 16:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by Dina K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't lock her out of it, lock her in it until she learns to treat you with respect and follow the rules. It's no fun being in there when there's nothing there. Break a rule, lose an item. Start big, like televisions and just go down the line. My kids wanted to see how far they could push this and literally ended up with just their beds and furniture in there. No tele, stereos, video games, phone, mp3 players, toys, nada. ALL gone till they straightened up and earned it back. Now I give them a warning if they're breaking a rule and they know what the punishment is going to be. They grumble or mumble while they're doing the chores but they get them done. They can mumble all they want but it better not be anything I can hear or disrespectful because they'd be punished for that also.
As for her not participating, my son does this also. We don't force him, we go do things without him. He's more inclined to go with us now on the off chance we might be doing something he doesn't want to miss out on. I won't tell him where we're going to bribe him and sometimes it's just a mundane grocery trip but he never knows so he normally goes along now. Best of luck!
2007-12-12 01:18:37 · answer #2 · answered by MISS H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres much more who is going on in your home than you are telling us here Thers lot of unresolved issues between you and your daughter . Where is her father in all this / Your daughter is full of anger and locking her out of her room makes her more angry that's why her attitude change so much I am 65 yrs and i raised 5 boys and I had never any problem to make them do their chores in the house . You have to sit down alone in a quiet area with her and maybe for the first time in a long time listen to her needs and anger and her frustration very carefully because keeping punishing her ;; Well she could be a runaway within a year . Just by curiosity what kind of discipline you gave her when she was 2. 3 5 7. 9 No bunderies she could do whatever she wants or if you raised her to respect you her family and everybody /
2007-12-12 01:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I know punishing your girl isn't something you want to turn to, but sometimes... it's the only way.
Coming from a teenage girl who is referring back to her parents behavior towards her attitude issues and refusal to do as expected, i can say after so many times of being stuck in my room with no iPod, computer access, telephone permission or camera pleasure... it got boring fast. I actually read 3 books in one week because i was so bored. Trust me, if you take away all she that makes her lazy, then she has nothing left. In which, if she's anything like me, should motivate her to try and earn the things she lost, back.
You need to lay down the line. Expectations are this, no if, and's or but's. You're the parent, you don't kneel before your children and let everything slide. Set rules, and stick to them. If you don't... your daughter will just grow up accustomed to being lazy and rude. Think about how many times she'll be fired for that. She needs to learn that it's not all fun and games, she's growing up and a part of becoming a lady is having responsibility. Yes, it adds stress... but welcome to reality. Nothing is easy, and if she thinks merely doing one chore is hard work, then imagine having a actual 12 hour job.
Yeah, she'll be pissed. But in the long run, it will have been a more beneficial thing than a corruption. I suggest, sitting her down on a good night and talking to her. See if she has anything she wants to get off her chest, anything she wants to say. Then it's your turn. Politely tell her how things need to change, and you're not doing it to be evil... you're just the average parents trying to do what's best.
She's a kid, she'll complain, whine and probably distance herself. But don't worry, all teenagers are like that even if they do get everything they want.
2007-12-12 00:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she does not do her share of household chores just take away things that she likes and don't give them back until she starts doing what she is supposed to do. Ground her and take anything that is in her bedroom that she enjoys out of there.
2007-12-12 00:51:14 · answer #5 · answered by susie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I live on my own and Im almost married but this is what my mom did I didn't do something she took something away. Don't be afraid to lock her out of her room she don't pay you. That is not that harsh. You are doing just fine. Good luck
2007-12-12 00:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother grounded me when I was a teenager. If I didn't do a chore, I lost my cell phone. If I still didn't comply, I couldn't hang out with my friends for 2 weeks or so, and if I still didn't comply, I lost all TV privileges and was grounded for a whole month.
2007-12-12 00:11:11 · answer #7 · answered by Kris W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As parents you have more power than you think. whats in her room that she likes.. take it away. take away any money.. or any time she may have with her friends (mall, computer, phone). Pay attention to her and find out what her currency is.. what she values most.
2007-12-12 00:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by CaliOutCast 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
take away what she likes most like..(computer,TV,cellphone,money} whatever you have to do to make her listen to you,but don't yell at her that always makes it worse,try talking to her & if that don't work then do what we suggest. Good Luck! :]
2007-12-12 00:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋