Hi,
I am typically a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl. I ALWAYS do my hair and I more often than not wear make-up, but I feel I can do all this and still look beautiful with a cute t-shirt and jeans on.
Now, my boyfriend is like this, no matter what I'm doing, if I'm going to the gas station, or even if we're just going to Wal-Mart 12 in the morning, he expects me to look the same way I do when going to school or work. This means I have to wear a fancy top with my jeans or a dress, with jewelry, make-up and have my hair done. What's wrong with me wanting to be comfortable every now and then. I went to the store with my hair in a ponytail and well, jeans and a t-shirt on the other day and it really bothered him. Now, let me make this side note. I hate dresses and his ex always wears them, he has done everything in his power to make me wear them even when I say I'm not comfortable in them he still tries. Also, his ex is ALWAYS dolled up. Is he trying to turn me into her?
2007-12-11 15:34:57 · 12 answers · asked by Tnisha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, this sounds like a deal breaker. If he expects you to be different than you are, then either he needs to revise his expectations or you need to not be together. If he is a fantastic guy in all other ways than this, then I would bring it up and say, this is who I am, and you either date me like this or not at all. It's his choice, and you need to be ready for him to make the choice not to be with you if you won't dress up. I applaud you for your determination not to try to be someone else. That is a very amazing quality and so many women give up themselves to be with some man... Not a good deal at ALL.
There are plenty of good fellows out there who won't expect you to dress up (i.e. be someone you aren't), so ultimately, you can go find one of those. Good luck and way to be you!!
2007-12-11 16:56:48 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Vida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first of all if it is true love or even worth your time he should allow you to be your self. Second, if that is how is ex is than of course he is plainly not over her at all because there is no reason for a guy to do that. He is so controlling you and you do not need that at all that only leads you down a horrible road and just get out before you bring a child or marriage into this picture not only is he going to ruin you but your child and your marraige, and not to mention there are way more men out there way worth your time and your sexiness. Don't let one man keep you from being happy especially when there are no strings attached like a child or a ring.
2016-05-23 04:10:16 · answer #2 · answered by laurel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how long ago he broke up up with his ex and how long you've been dating.
My advice is, you don't want to be with someone who can't accept you for who you are. Make up or not, curly or straight, hollister t-shirt or a bargain store shirt, you need someone who will find you perfect even if you don't always appear the best. You shouldn't have to change for anyone, and even if you did it shouldn't be such a dramatic difference that you become unhappy with yourself. Any difference you make in appreance or within, it should be because you wanted it too. It's good to make someone happy, but first make yourself happy. Dress the way you want to and be yourself, if he doesn't like it he can leave. If he goes to his ex, obviously he wasn't really into YOU in the first place.
My other advice is to maybe sit down with him one night and explain to him how you feel like your in someone's elses jeans. Tell him that if he can't appreciate you without a fake mask on then he needs to find someone who is willing to take up that offer.
2007-12-11 16:38:10 · answer #3 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, get out now or talk to your boyfriend and tell him you are not going to get dressed up unless you want to. How long have you been with him? If he is already trying to control this what will he be controlling in 6 months, a year or longer down the road. IF he refuses to change, then as hard as it is leave. Good luck to you.
2007-12-11 15:40:27 · answer #4 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him, tell him that he needs to let you be you, let you wear what you want. He needs to respect who you are and love you no matter how you look, and if he refuses to accept that, you need to break up with him. I'm sorry hun, but no girl deserves treatment like that from ANYBODY. My guess is he's not trying to turn you into her, his type is just all dolled and he maybe likes your personality but wants to be more attracted to you physically. But that shouldn't be on his mind always. Dating is supposed to tell you what kind of person you want to marry and if he's the one, do you want to have to wake up early in the morning and get all dolled up just so that when he wakes up he'll be pleased with your appearance? It doesn't work that way, women change, they get old, sometimes they gain weight, he needs to understand that you're not going to always be young and full of dolled up spirit, he needs to respect that you need your comfort. Otherwise he's not worth it. I'm sure, like everyone does, you want a match that when you're sick and not looking your best will tell you you're beautiful because of who you are Not the way your skin droops from your bones, not the way your nose runs when you're cold, not the way your hair is always a mess when you wake up, you need someone who loves you no matter how you look. Good luck :)
2007-12-11 15:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about him trying to turn you into his ex...but he sounds like he is very controlling. You should be with someone that does not try to control how you dress and likes you for you. If he is controlling about how you dress, etc. . now just think what it would be like in a marriage to him.. He would more than likely try to take complete control over everything.
2007-12-11 17:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG RUN!!!!!!! he is trying to control you, i would tell him to kiss my you know what because im going to wear what I want to wear and if he doesnt like it he can go find some one that suits his tastes better!
2007-12-11 15:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by me 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wave, like in goodbye.
2007-12-11 15:38:59 · answer #8 · answered by cancun1313 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Number one, he wants a porn star girlfriend.
Number two, he's controlling.
Number three, he's a jerk.
Number four, dump him. Maybe his ex is smarter than she looks.
2007-12-11 15:38:41 · answer #9 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
yep.
do what you feel comfortable doing. if he doesn't like it too bad. when he brings it up again tell him no!
2007-12-11 15:57:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋