Need help dealing with a somewhat problem child. I"m lost.?

Question

Today my roommate's son told his teacher. That his mind told him to play so he listening to his mind and not the teacher. So it seems to me that he ( the child) thinks his mind is separate from him. He can't stay in his sit. He gets in trouble for stupid things like talking to hisself. He doesn't sit with the class. He sits in the back away from the other students. He seems impulsive. He acts on whatever he feels. Regardless to the rule and he can repeat the rules without fault . He is six years old. I'm just afraid he will be labelled as ADD or whatever. I don't have children and I've only babysat for child still in diapers. I don't understand six year old. His parent has spanked him, done time out, stand in the corner, no play time, talked to him. He doesn't seem bothered that he not allowed to go outside and play because of his behavior. His prilvileges are taken away and he doesn't seem to care. Parents what should he ( the parent) do. Should he be concerned?

Answer 1

Sounds like maybe negative attention may be better than no attention to him? Does anyone give him any attention for postive reasons for the things he does right? Just an idea...

Answer 2

The boy might be having problems but it could just be that he needs some more time to mature. Most kids have big imaginations so it might not be a big deal that his mind is "telling him to play." That may be his way of saying HE wants to play. Lots of kids with a good imagination also talk to themselves and make sound effects (like "blam blam") when they are playing. It's hard for lots of boys to sit still all day especially if they can't get outside and exercise. It sounds like people are punishing him for things he's not old enough to control, though. Maybe they should try putting him in front of the class where he can pay attention better. They can also ask the school counselor for an opinion. They can get a second opinion too. ADHD should not be diagnosed without careful testing by a professional who has experience with children. A great book to read is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene if he is acting up.

Answer 3

First of all the reason the kid doesn't care is because the parents don't care. They've proven as much by being so totally inconsisent in their disciplining.
Secondly this isn't a "problem child" as much as it is a normal 6 year old with an active imagination. I would tell the parents to stop trying to beat him into submisson and allow him to have his imagination but to be patient as well as consistent enough to channel it in the proper directions, I suggest the child's parents take some parenting classes. It has been proven that when a child is allowed to "exercise" their imagination they grow up to be more intelligent adults. But hitting him isn't going to work.

Answer 4

TOTALLY concerned. For one...yes the teachers are already having their doubts about him I am sure of it...ADD concerns probably..however teachers are VERY quick to say this. He's only six and if the parent is consistent in punishment then he just "might" be testing his limits. He's still very young and it's normal for kids to talk to themselves especially if he is the ONLY child. Tell the parent that he/she needs to be consistent and TRY to find something GOOD that he does and PRAISE him like crazy. I really try to CATCH my son doing something good and praise him. He's acted this way since he was 4 and he's now 9. It's JUST gotten better in school as far as behavior. G'luck

Answer 5

My 5 year old is much the same way. Lives by her own "compass" as I say. With her, I have to be very direct with what I want her to do. Example: I cannot tell her to "Clean up you milk spill.", I have to have her repeat it back to me, and then ask her what she is going to do. It sometimes takes her a few seconds, but she will usually say something like, "I need to take a rag and clean up my spill." If she has her mind on doing something else, it does take that extra redirection with her. I really have to make her think about what she should be doing at that moment. Perhaps his teacher is not gaining his full attention, and needs to spend a few more moments with him. Every child is different, and the teacher needs to adjust, not the other way around. He should not be isolated, unless he is a danger to other students.

Answer 6

I agree that this all can be normal for a 6 yr old boy and beyond his control. They are full of healthy energy and being suddenly asked to sit still for the better part of a day and listen and focus, that can be overwhelming. A lot of children honestly aren't ready for a classroom until at least age 7. All children are different and schools are built around the averages. He needs time.

Answer 7

As a teacher and a parent, yes I would be concerned about this child's behavioral issues. It is a difficult situation to address because as a parent you don't want to "see" your child has problems, but the sooner they are addressed by a professional (pediatrician can recommend) the sooner the child can be helped.

Answer 8

I think the child should be evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. Some of what you describe COULD be symptoms of Asperger's syndrome (mild autism). It sounds like this boy needs some help.

Answer 9

I think that he feels like everyone is judging him so he pep talks himself. I would have the parent take him to a therapist and see if it's a self esteem issue.

Answer 10

the parent should be concerned. sometimes kids just go through phases, but its better to take care of something than to wait and see.
i'd take him to his pediatrician and maybe he can be tested for certain stuff.

good luck w/everything!