If your spouse is deployed.... ?

Question

... or in training what are some things you do to keep your sanity and encourage your kids?? Im leaving for 7 months of training and some examples of what we are doing so far: a huge 7-month calendar on the wall for my son to mark off each day so he can see how far through it we are... taking my daugther to build-a-bear and putting a voice recording in the bear reminding her I love her and will be back... having several family friends rotate bringing a meal over once a week... setting up some playdates... what else??? what has helped your family and/or kids cope with the separation???

My son is 4, daughter 2.

Answer 1

Have you checked with militaryonesource.com they have a video that explains deployments etc. my son got it at his school. The school my son is attending has deployment group for them to let them know other kids will be going through the same thing and they are sharing ideas etc.

I would maybe buy your daughter a locket with your picture in it.
My son was very young when I first left so I didn't have to worry much.

Answer 2

Like someone else said, be careful with the calendar. Its easier to use a paper chain because if you get extended, you can add rings without little people noticing. I learned the hard way when my husband left for a 4 month deployment and came back after 10 months.

I have 4 children, and we've survived 8 deployments so far, my husband leaves for Iraq soon. The best thing I've found is to not disrupt their normal routines. Keep them busy. Have someone lined up for the spouse at home to come in and babysit every now and then so they don't go crazy.. especially if the kids aren't in school yet. Sometimes deployments can seem like one long day run together without a break. We did the Build a Bear thing, we also made a bear for my husband to take with him with our voices inside. Make friends with some spouses who are going through deployment. For me that was a Godsend. We would have movie night with the other families once a month. Send cards and letters! Even if they can't read, all kids love getting things in the mail. Make some videos of you reading or talking to the kids that can be rotated while you're gone.
The first couple days of deployment were always hardest for me. The kids are still a little bit too young to understand how long a deployment is and it can be pretty heartwrenching.. Good luck to your family!

Answer 3

Go to the base library normally they will allow you to videotape yourself reading books for your children to watch, for free.

Plan an outing for when you come back to do, put all the money you can find into the jar/tin. The more they save the more you can do.

buy some presents for them little things from the dollar store and hide them throughout the house. Where they would have to get clues from your spouse in order to find them.

Instead of a calender do a outline of yourself and then have them put a sticker per day on it. This way if you get extended there isn't a problem. Also have your spouse write things on it like First day of school, etc....

Have 2 jars filled with Hershey's kisses, each day you are gone they have one. The more kisses gone, the sooner you will be home.

It is great that you are trying to do all of these things before you go. Just make sure your spouse has adults to talk to to keep his/her sanity. Have a day when a babysitter comes so she/he can go out to the movies, or shopping or anything. Once you are gone a routine will set in and the time will pass by quickly. Sometimes longer deployments are better than short trips because you can get yourself into a routine as well as the kids. You can get a little more organization and so forth. It doesn't mean that you missed any less of course.

Answer 4

You have done some great things... a few more I could suggest would be...

1. Hug jars...fill a jar with small slips of paper (you can use the computer to make it easier) that say various things like "I love you!" "You are a super kid" etc. Each night before bed, have the kids pull a slip to get a goodnight "hug" from you.

2. Buy a bunch of children's books (dollar stores are great and many larger book stores have great clearance/bargin sections) and, along with some of their favorites, record yourself reading them. YOu can either do so on tape or even do it on a video/DVD. That way the kids can hear your voice and have a story whenever they feel the need.

3. Buy a bunch of blank cards (craft stores have them in packages complete with envelopes..a bit more but definitely a lot easier) and put them in a box with crayons, markers, lots of stickers, those sticky foam shapes, etc. Print off labels with your mailing address and be sure to have a roll of stamps (might want to leave these with the adults). Encourage the kids to use the items to write to you or draw pictures/make a card whenever they think of you or miss you. Have a box of similiar items (you may want to buy pre-made cards) to take with you so as soon as you get a note or letter, you can send one back!

4. Set up a time every day...again bed time might be good..where you will think to one another...you can get inexspensive digital watches or alarm clocks and set them together before you leave. When the alarm goes off, that means you will all think about each other at the same time.

I wish you luck as you begin your training. You are doing everything right...keep it up!!

Answer 5

Just be careful with the calendar. If your seven months gets extended you don't wnat your son to be disappointed. You could also maybe have written notes hide through the house, or little toys that someone can get out periodically with a handwritten note on it from you. Then they will feel like you are still around. Make sure if you have email or web cam available that you do it, so they feel like they are still connected. Just make sure to keep it all positive. It should help. Best wishes to you and yours! I thank you for your service!

Answer 6

Two ploys that my childed friends used:

a big jar full of small candy and a paper chain. every night before bed they get to remove a piece of candy or a ring of the chain. Plus it is relatively simple to add or remove as necessary without freaking the kids out too much.

Also, take advantage of the Bedtime story program.. I certainly hope your base offers it. you read a story in front of the video camera, and the kids get a copy of the book to read along with you in the video.

Answer 7

Mail and Phone call's, you are able to make phone calls no matter where you find yourself. It helps to talk and send letters, pictures etc., Simple little things that mean a lot only to your family....mine is drawings from my son. I love receiving them in the mail. Makes me feel that much better when your passing the time. You write and sometimes can send little care packages...I've actually been able to send several home from Iraq and my son loves getting them.

Answer 8

Make some movies with you and the family together doing things the kids love to do. This will help remind them of the fun times you had and give them something to look forward to.

Vet-USAF

Answer 9

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Answer 10

i would contact them as much as possible, and before you leave keep on telling them how much you love them, and that the sooner you go the sooner you will be back to see them. it also depends on how old your kids are. if they are very young or in the teens it would most likely be easier on them rather than a 4-10ish range.

Thank you for serving your country and may God (or whatever religion, if you do have a religion) be with you and your family.