my boyfriend hit me the other day...we have been going out for 2 years?

Question

i am 15, and my boyfriend is 17, he is a laborour, so is verry strong. i was sitting in the kitchen at his mothers house (where he lives.) and me and his mother was saying how pretty i was, and that i must get hit on alot by older boys, because i look about 20 years old. then Jonah (my boyfriend) walked over to me and slaped me across the face with the back of his hand. His mother gasped then walked out of the room. she didnt even say anything! This is the first time that he has ever hit me, but i dont even no what it was about. can you please help me, how do i deal with this, and is it normal?

i have a huge welt on my cheek bone, and a horrible purple bruise.

yes i have asked this before.

Answer 1

*Sweety I will speak from 34 years of experience IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN* That is all I can say*

Answer 2

I am also 15 and have experience dating older boys. My boyfriend is 18.
1. Tell him that he has no right to hit you. (Take a friend/Meet in public.)
2. Demand an explanation and an apology.
3. Ask his mother about it. Why didn't she do anything? Has this happened with past GFs?
4. Tell an adult that you trust (other than Jonah's mom) about this.

Ask him why he struck you today, and be sure that you get a satisfactory answer. It sounds like he was jealous and angry because you and his mother were talking about other boys. That is not an excuse for his behavior. He needs to understand that slapping you is not okay, but more importantly, you need to understand that he has no right to act like that. You need to clearly tell him that hitting you, harming you, or abusing you in any way is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE.

It might be a good idea to have a friend close by when you tell him this, or better yet, meet in a public place. Perhaps this was a one-time incident, but keep in mind that domestic abuse is a very common problem.

If you ever become concerned for your safety, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.

Answer 3

Well, he obviously learned it at home.

Get out now. It will only get worse and he will lie and say he is sorry and how you "made him do it".

My son's father was abusive. It finally ended when I told him if he ever raised a hand to me again I would wait for him to fall asleep and then sew him into the bed and beat him with a bat until all my rage was gone. If he was lucky, he would survive it.

My son, though he doesn't remember how bad his dad was, was told his whole life that if I EVER heard of him hitting a girlfriend I would kick his butt from here to Seattle and back. He is a very respectful 24 year old and has never raised a hand to a woman.

Don't let it get as bad as I allowed it to. He doesn't know how to love and that is his parents' fault, but not your problem. If you leave him now.

Stop taking his calls and forget him. You are soooo young and you will find a better class of guy if you look for one.

Respect yourself first and others will too.

Good luck to you

Answer 4

You don't need to go back over there or deal with him anymore. If your parents saw that, they would say the same thing probably. He could be charged for that. This is not normal and his mother was wrong for not saying anything. Maybe she was abused by a man before. He is not your father and he has no right to put his hands on you. Leave him alone, please. It may not be the first time he has hit a girl and it may not be the last. 2 years or not, this was total disrespect and it wasn't a mistake.

Answer 5

I agree about talking to him...talk to him long enough to tell him you don't want to be with him anymore.

If he hits you once, and you LET him back into your life? He WILL hit you again....I can guarantee it.

It's obvious you have other options, and a lot of self confidence. Your boyfriend should be proud and happy to be with you....instead, he's insecure and selfish. If that is his reaction in this instance, think of how he may react when you get an awesome job, and he's had a bad day....he's going to take his bad day out on you, instead of celebrating the well deserved success you've gotten. The fact that his mother got up and left the room when he behaved the way he did is a tell tale sign....it tells me that he's learned from her that his behavior is somehow acceptable....she didn't confront it, she avoided it....and that is what he is going to expect from you.

I'm sure he'll have an explanation, but it's not worth waiting around to hear, trust me.

Let him GO!

Relationships are give and take.

Answer 6

No this is not normal! His mom walking out and not saying anything is indicative of a history of abuse for her. He's more likely than not to have grown up seeing his mom abused and thinking this is okay to hit a woman or girl when it's not. His jealousy over something so small and innocent as a conversation with his mom is the first indicator of an abuser.

This is probably not the first time he has been irrational is it? You need to tell someone you trust what has happened preferably an adult, maybe a teacher or school counselor, but more importantly you need to get out of this relationship. Hitting is NEVER okay! I'm sure you will get a lot more posts like this one. Please, please take this advice. And be careful.

Answer 7

Talk to him about it. Be careful. I've read true real life stories where these things happen. Some couples go out for years, until the boyfriend goes crazy and decides to be abusive. I read in a magazine once that he even stabbed his girlfriend and she nearly died, but managed to escape from one of those storage warehouses. It's horrible.

I suggest you talk to him about it, and if he gets angry or whatever and gets abusive, you know you have every right to call the police. Abuse is wrong. If he loves you, he wouldn't hurt you! Be strong, sister! This IS NOT normal. The more to it, he's older than you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but SOME guys think they have control over you and stuff just because they're older.

Remember, it starts with one small action, and it gets worse and worse until the point he does something really bad. Good luck. If you have any questions/need someone to talk to, my email is [e-mail]

Answer 8

Obviously he is so insecure and jealous of even hearing you being hit on by a lot of boys without any significant proof that he resorts to violence so he can maintain control and keep you in fear. It is best for you to think about a course of action which will end the relationship. The leopard does not change his spots so if he feels threatened in any way by your beauty and even conjures up in his mind that boys are hitting on you then he may or will strike you again . The next time the slap may be an overall beating. It would be best for you to get someone to stand by you and make sure he does not harm you again. He did not exhibit normal behhavior and I believe unless he accepts counseling for his actions he will hurt you even worse every time.

Answer 9

Hi, I am going to be 20 on Friday. I was messing with this guy who is almost 7rys older than myself since I was 14. And he did the same thing. So did his mother and to this day, she still feels as if it's my fault.

NO sweetie, it's not normal. He has issues that HE needs to take care of. It's NOT your fault and you shouldn't feel that way. If he hit you, he's going to do it again. The best thing for you to do is to nip it in the bud NOW. Better now than later because it WILL get worse. I am still battling it now.

I cannot tell you how to handle it because I am still in some mess. But you can break off or try to understand him, but whatever you do, always stand your ground. Allow no MAN to treat you how they want, but of the way you want to be treated. He should respect you and be man enough to talk to you instead of putting his hands on you.

Age.....there's a gap and it's all about control. When men date younger females, it's about control. They need to control. He was probably jealous because of the comment that was made. You cannot help that you are beautiful.....don't allow him to convince you other wise.

Answer 10

If a man ever hits a woman they will keep doing it whenever they feel like it. I'd go to the police and file a injunction on him to never come to my door or never speak to me if he does let them lock his sorry as* up. His Mother didn't say anything because I'm sure his Dad has hit her whenever he pleased . Don't take that from a man , show him the road show your Dad your face and he'll have a little talk with that little man. Don't ever let a man hit you and get away with it, because the next it will be worst and worst as it continues. Show him the road you don't want a man like that, he is a bully and a mean basta** so don't date him anymore ,just let him be. Because a man that will hit a woman is a sorry piece of humanity.

Answer 11

You need to get out of that relationship now. Under no circumstances does any man have a right to hit a woman. You are only 15 years old and way too young to be dealing with that kind of mature situation. what have your parents said about this. He needs to go to jail because that is assault and you should never put up with that ever!!!!! It is not normal. and apparently his momma ain't gonna do anything about it either. Get out fast while you still can.