i am 15, and my boyfriend is 17, he is a laborour, so is verry strong. i was sitting in the kitchen at his mothers house (where he lives.) and me and his mother was saying how pretty i was, and that i must get hit on alot by older boys, because i look about 20 years old. then Jonah (my boyfriend) walked over to me and slaped me across the face with the back of his hand. His mother gasped then walked out of the room. she didnt even say anything! This is the first time that he has ever hit me, but i dont even no what it was about. can you please help me, how do i deal with this, and is it normal?
i have a huge welt on my cheek bone, and a horrible purple bruise.
2007-12-11 14:15:56 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes i have asked this question before.
2007-12-11 14:50:00 · update #1
One word; Leave.
he hits you once, he'll do it again. And if his mother didnt say anything, then it might be normal for that family.
2007-12-11 14:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up with him NOW. No, it's absolutely NOT normal for a man to hit a woman for ANY reason. You need to really understand that last part because you seem to be focused on WHY he did it. The point is that no matter what you were doing, it's NEVER right for a man to hit a woman unless it's in self-defense (like if she's coming at him with a knife or something!). Men who hit women have control issues. They have huge egos and anything that threatens their fragile ego, they get violent. You need to get OUT of this r'ship before he brainwashes you into thinking you somehow deserve his abuse.
Hear this: ALL abusers say "oh baby, I'm so sorry....it will never happen again." DON'T BELIEVE IT. They may believe it at the time, but it is a lie. It will happen again...it's just a matter of time.
2007-12-11 22:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it was about his insecurities within him self it always is when a male or female use violence to control someone else 2 years and it's his first time it should be his last time you should leave his **** NO SH%T he'll do it again....as he got away with doing it the first time and pretty soon you wont be asking why??? you'll be making up your own excuses why???you may think it's a joke or he's not like that but millions of women everyday say the same thing and they will be saying it tommorrow....You're only 15 which is really young go out and explore life don't let a scum bag like him hold you down and that's all he'll do if not i'll hear from you in about 6months with another question but this time it'll be he didn't just slap you it'll be he wasted you but this time he was drunk or sumthing like that.....Get out now he's not worth it......
2007-12-11 22:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by Rosey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave that relationship now because usually this is a sign of further abuse. I know the boyfriend is her son but she should have said or done something. Obviously she was scared of him so take that as a warning of what he must truly be like. Either that or she just plain does not care what he does and she would always take his side in everything he does whether it is wrong or right. Find someone else to date. I would also consider filing charges on him.
2007-12-12 01:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by susie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did your parents say when they saw your face??
If he does it once, chances are, he'll do it again. And again. and again!
You saw his true nature. His mother didn't say or do anything, so it is very possible that violence / abuse is part of their family (children often imitates what their own parents do)
If you put your head in the sand, and accept this, you will choose to live a painful life of fear, and violence.
Dangerous path girl, be careful!!! Leave while you can. Difficult to do, but you'll be soooo glad you did it! You need to find someone who will treat you and most of all make you fell RIGHT!
Be strong.
2007-12-11 22:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the cops and have him arrested. This is probably a learned behavior and I'm betting his father hits the mother. You should definitly get out of this relationship as well, it would be wise to file a restraining order against him. He'll probably beg and plead that it won't happen again but it will happen again and worse than before.
2007-12-11 22:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by Einstein 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Any mother who did what she did is an abused woman herself. Abuse escalates, don't make excuses for him, don't be conned by him. My daughter did that, ended up giving the abuser chance after chance for 10 years, starting when she was 17. They had 4 kids, he abused them all. She finally left him but the kids are in counseling, very angry - to say the least. Don't you dare do that to yourself and your future kids.
You need to tell your family, a teacher, someone. Remember no one loves a doormat, and you have to lay down to be a doormat. Stand up and be a woman.
2007-12-11 22:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by Deb D 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should not put up with that.it maybe the first time that he has hit you but that prob ally wont be the last.i just watched a show today that a lady was with her husband 14 years always verbally abusive the became physical he beat her so bad she almost died just get out of the relationship while you have a chance
2007-12-11 22:24:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to tell ya the truth that isn't OK...i would break up w/ him b4 it gets worse my best friend and i stopped being friends for 5 months cuz she didn't believe me when i said her bf isn't gonna stop once he hit her once her bf told her lies about me to push me and her apart because i was right ...and it was the truth he beat the living hell out of her and put her in the ER and she missed over a week of school because she was to scared to come to school w/ black eyes
i would tell him it isn't OK file police report and leave him i know its hard and i know you think he loves you but some one who loves you wouldn't do that...and if its enough to leave a bruise that's crazy and for his mom not to say a word that's even worse would she stop him from beating the hell out of you? you need to talk to your parents also... if that was my dad that guy would be dead and he would be in jail thats a promis
def get away from him...and send me a note if you need anything more im so sorry that happened to you...don't wait til your married w/ kids to realize that is how he is!
2007-12-11 22:23:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg he shouldn't have done that and i can't believe his mom witnessed it but didn't do a thing about it... yea i wouldn't even think twice about keeping Jonah as your boyfriend... its definitely time to get rid of him.... you should of ended it when he did it.....and no its not normal.... you know alot of girls don't say anything at 1st when a guy beats them because their either scared if him or don't wanna lose him, but you really need to end your relationship, unless you want to continue getting beat where you have bruises and sores...
2007-12-11 22:32:43 · answer #10 · answered by DeeDee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋