how do i deal with a suicidal parent?

Question

My mother has been depressed all her life and they have tried everything to help her even electrothearpy all that did was change her personality i am only 15 but truly i think she will kill herself before iam 20 she has been in the hospital many times and she cuts sometimes and tonight she took a bunch of pills and we had to take her to the hospital how do I deal with this.. like what are some online sites i dont want to do counsiling i have been there already.. what do you think?

she is on medication and she does see a docter every week and my father and 17 year old sister live here too they are fine

she has been in an impatiant care unit for over a month no to long ago

Answer 1

I am so sorry. I feel your pain. My mum had been at it when i was very young (5-10 yrs) and I've always got phobia that one day when i wake up, i'm nv gonna see her again. However, none of her problems are your fault. She has to seek solution and help herself. If it had to be long term medication for depression, then she should be responsible enough as a mother to take it and control her condition. You can help too as her child to encourage her to think positively and do things as a family together. Always tell her, she cannot be irresponsible as a mum as she has kids she's got to be responsible for. Tell her you need her and love her so much, tell her that you'll always be around for her, and her to pls do this much for you too. Be strong k?

Answer 2

From your perspective, why is she depressed? Is she married, overweight, in addiction? Does she have a social structure outside of the family? Do you know if there was something emotionally scarring that happened during her childhood, i.e. rape? Do you know her relationship between her family or family history? Does she have any cognitive conditions that coexists with her depression like Asperger's, Autism, Mental Retardation or any physical/neurological disabilities like ALS, Huntington etc. or mood/emotional disorders like Bipolar Disorder, what other factors are involved here so we can solve this- the depression.

For right now, is there anyone there who you can comfortably talk about your mother's care right now? I would try to do that immediately, if not call someone who you know can help you to make sure she is OK tonight, a friend, family member or if you don't have anyone that close call a neighbor if you trust and are able to confide in them.

That being said, depression causes an individual to develop a distorted sense of reality. The depressed individual is almost primitive in thinking, hypersensitive and most importantly, does not see a solution to their problem whether it is identified or unidentified. Their brain is chemically altered, temporarily. Offering a shoulder to cry on is invaluable for the depressed patient, they appreciate it whether they vocalize this or not. What you can do best is be supportive (it sounds like you are doing this perfectly). Exercise has been found to be a good remedy for depression, does she exercise, could you suggest going on a walk with her? But also getting to the root of the problem, why she is depressed is just as crucial and if possible, don't try to do this by yourself, seek help. Good luck, hang in there and thanks for being brave for your mother, she will appreciate it someday :)

Answer 3

When a person is depressed, he/she has lost the capacity to see beyond themselves and enjoy life. Instead, they are focused inwardly in a negative loop, endlessly going over their perceived inadeqacies. This continued self-hatred causes them great pain, to the extent that death may seem a solution to what they see as a hopeless situation.

How should you treat your mother? How would you like to be treated if you found yourself mired in a hopeless situation? You wouldn't want to be patronized as a nut case, or treated superficially. This would be a time that you would need compassion and unconditional, nonjudgmental support and loving kindness from those that cared for you, until you found the strength and resources to recover.
Visible trust will help her recover a lot. That someone (you) still viewed her as human and with equal rights.

Then when you have prepared yourself, sit down with her, and offer a hug, handshake, and make sure that she knows that you are her friend and if shes want to talk, then by all means listen.
Families and friends are a big help for these..

Answer 4

I am truly sorry for your situation. You don't mention your father or siblings. You are a minor.... you should have a responsible parent/guardian caring for you.
When your mother has made attempts in the past - has she been required to seek treatment in a mental health facility? For example, in my state, when someone has tried to harm themselves, there is a state law which can be applied and requires the individual be kept in an appropriate facility for an evaluation by a medical professional (psychiatrist). This time period is 72 hours. The individual can then voluntarily admit themselves for continued treatment or be released (if determined to be in stable (mental) condition.

If you have no other parent or appropriate legal guardian (grandparent, aunt, uncle or even sibling - of adult years), and your mother is not able to care for you.... there are options - foster care....

As for therapy, you need it ... DO NOT GIVE THIS ONE UP.... find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and stick with it.....

Answer 5

No counselling ? well your on your own then .
Shock therapy will destroy people , the doctors are using your ol lady as a guinea pig ,that crap never worked and never will , prove it for yourself stick all the wires of the TV in the active hole on the power point and see what happens ,

You are affected from this aswell , You are co-dependant .
There are support groups for everything these days , Get into one and youll find your just one of many PPL in the same situation..
try the local community centre , the mantal health department in the hospitals ,theywill have the contacts.

Answer 6

I really feel badly for you. I wish she could get better for your sake. You have had to grow up very fast in order to be the parent for yourself and your Mom. I would look up NAMI in the phone book and call the warm line. I know that family therapy is tough but you need a support system too. NAMI has a library and support meetings. Try to find kids who are coping with mental illness in their family and ask how they have made it so far. Mental illness is painful to experience and I am sure you are full of hurt and fear. You need a safe place to talk about your concerns. This could be counseling or a support group. It is true that some people try all of the treatments and still continue to suffer from mental illness. Your Mom may be one of them so you need to focus on yourself and make plans for your own future, and put enjoyment into your life today. Please reach out to someone today. Remember that many of us know what you are facing and would do anything to help you. Be good to yourself and get what you need in life to handle this very difficult family situation. Best of luck to you.

Answer 7

You really need to be in someone else's care. What about your father or a grandparent? Your mother is not stable and evidently hasn't been for your lifetime and if she hasn't gotten better by now, more than likely she never will. You need to get yourself into some therapy as well to help you deal with this life she has forced you into. You have a voice and you need to be an advocate for yourself.

Answer 8

i think theyr wrong. she's ur mother. that doesn't mean u have to carry the burden for her or even with her but how she feels is going to impact you and it should. online sites are going to be like counsiling but more general rather than specifically for u. tell her that u love her and maybe go on some kind of a relaxing vacation or something? if she wants to leave this place, maybe its because she only wants to leave the bad parts. maybe you have to show her that theres a lot of good here she needs to stay for.

Answer 9

I know how hard it can be because i went threw it at your age..at that time i was going threw therapy at the hospital so that helped. But i don't know any on line group maybe somebody else knows a good group. I wish you all the best for you and your family.

Answer 10

Im really sorry to hear that. Sometimes I would think my mom was going to kill herself in the shower if she was in there for more then 10 mins. i know what its like. I never liked couselors because I didnt feel they were on my level. Honestly I would print this out and have your mom read this: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ maybe it will show her what you will have to go through if she did something like that. I hope everything gets better for you and your family truely.