Family Help?

Question

I really need some help. I don't want to sound like a drama queen here, but I can't stand my family. Both of my sisters (and only siblings) had moved out by the time that I turned 12 to go to college, and that was when my dad quit his job. Don't get me wrong, my mom can support the family well enough on her own, but he is ALWAYS home. He micromanages my life, one of my sisters is COMPLETELY weird (like she believes in faries weird), and the other one can't seem to stop putting me down. My mom is hardly ever home, and when she is she pretends that she knows me better than all of my friends (and believe me, she doesn't). It's been 2 years since my sisters moved out, and it's gotten to the point that I hardly even talk to my parents anymore, even when they ask me questions. I get so annoied of tehm that my only answer will be a grunt or mumble. I can't find anything to connect with my family on, and i feel retarded confronting them on it. I'm not trying to be a drama queen. Please help.

I understand that a lot of family problems can be solved through confrontation, but every time that I confront them about a problem, they always make me out to be this malicious child that just hates life! I understand partially why they do, as I am always sarcastic with them(because I have no idea how to talk to people that annoy me so much).

Answer 1

If you can catch your mom and dad at home at the same time, then I think it's time for a loud announcement. It's one way of getting heard and getting their full attention.

Example: You feel disconected from both parents.
You feel if you would ask them a question
or advice, they wouldn't know what you're
talking about, because they have been so
out of touch with you.

I'm your kid. You think you know me, but you
don't. No, you don't know me better than all
friends. My friends are closer to me than you
are. My friends are the ones who really know
who I am.

Mom, your job seems to mean more to you
than me. You're never around for me. I just
don't know either one of you anymore, and
that's too bad, because my a nice kid and
you're loosing out.

When you're ready mom (don't know about
dad) come and talk with me. May be we can
get to know each other again. I miss you.

This is how I'm reading you. Sounds like you need your parent's understanding and know you are a member of the family. It's not your job to connect with your parents. That's there job. They're forgetting about how important it is to stay connected as a family.

Sometimes parents have to be reminded about what their rolls are as parents. There's nothing wrong with you giving them an eye opener. If you have to put it down on paper then do it. You can either write them a letter or you can have your say face to face. A lot of people will use letter form. Sometimes is just easier that way.

Sometimes you have to be a "drama queen" in order to get your point across. I do it all the time in order to be heard and get peoples full attention. It's better than "stuffing" it.

Glad you brought this up. It's a reminder to all of us. Never take anything for granted. Parents aren't perfect, but you should be able to comunicate your thoughts and feelings.

Love you - - - hang in there

Answer 2

First off... your dad sounds like a shaper/strategist. If you have no clue what I'm talking about, you should check out the Kendall Life Languages. It's all about communication styles. A shaper is a person who's always got a plan, but also has a desire to lead and delegate. In a toxic (or ultra stress level) environment, they can micromanage people. Shapers require agreement to see that a person loves them.

Your mother is one I can't tell because you haven't given much information on her. Still, I'd think that she's away because she sees that there's a need not being met, but isn't going about it the right way .

Regardless of this... your parents love you. It doesn't sound like a drama queen, but rather sounds like what I've seen in the kids at the local youth group. Parents don't understand their children because there's no communication. You should try to schedule time with your parents. Do something together. Be a family. This way, you can have a better relationship with them.

As for your sister, they say hurting people hurt people. I'm sure somewhere there's a pain that she's feeling, but she doesn't know how to deal with it. It's sad, but it happens. Try not to lash back at her, but instead show her some love and understanding. When you combat adversity (in the family) with love, 90% of the time it'll bring about a change in the other person as well as yourself. (the other 10% of the time, only you change... but it's still a better gamble than not doing anything)

Answer 3

I completelt understand u, I went through a similar situation, and trust me the best thing to do is to confront them before its too late. These are issues that have been held on for a while now. Its very important that u talk with both your mom and dad at the same time. The fact that u feel no bond between u and your family is a big warning sign. Sit with both your mom and dad and just let it all out. From the way u feel to how annoyed u feel sometimes. Not only will u feel so much better after, they will know how u feel and hopefully try to make it better. I hope everything goes well, take care and dont avoid the problem, confront it!!!!

Answer 4

I know this may sound stupid and crazy, but Try confronting everyone. Try talking to ur mom and telling her the truth that she knows nothing about u. But be VERY blunt. If you tell them in a very mean way, you will not only let them know you changed and are not the same, but you will get their attention. If this doesn't work, when everyone is in the house, scream your head off like you are in agony! I know this sounds more stupid than the last, but it will let them know u are distressed. I'm 15, so I know what u are going through. I've been there and still am. I'm just not brave enough to do these things. But you might be. Try them and see if it works. I'm sorry if it does not help (if it does, yay!)

Answer 5

You are not being a drama queen. Well, sounds like mom stays away too much, I think you should start with her. Say you need time with just her. Also, why is dad sitting on his butt at home while she is out there? Ignore the two sisters. They sound a bit odd. Let you mom know the sister that puts you down needs to stop, now and to please talk to dad about his hovering.

Answer 6

Write to your sisters, or to whichever one that you feel closest to and tell them what's up. Ask them for pointers on how to deal and they could probably give you better ones than everyone else since they have had to deal with the same parents! You could also try talking to a guidence counsler or a teacher that you feel safe with. Tell them that you are having problems at home and would like to know if they can help you through it. (If they kow that you are having serious problems they are more likely to be understanding if you aren't able to get the homework done and work with you more if your grades start to suffer). Good Luck with solving this problem and I really hope that everything works out alright!

Answer 7

Try to sound nice and this should pay off and with your sisters i would put some sence in one and punch the brains out of the other one but just always act nice and kind even when no ones lokking and this will go away ps. plan a quick get away

Answer 8

just try to answer one day. then it'll make you feel more confident for the othersss. (:
i hate telling my family personal things like boyfriend stuff or what i bought at the mall or who im hangin out with, im just weird like that. but were still close. so you could do the same. we connect by like watching tv, or when they have to haul my butt somewhere in the car we get to talk about stuff. its normally about funyn stuff durring there day. and if you have pets or family friends/cousins/aunts/uncles or w/e that you can talk to them about, that helps. especially pets

Answer 9

one thing is try to ignore them so u they wont bother u...go outwith ur girlfriends or something n when they tell u something u dont like well confront them by saying im not trying to sound mean but i didnt ask for your opinion or honey the only person who can help u the most is god............... pray<3

Answer 10

Here is a tip:
Come to your parents and say:
Mom/Dad, I feel (your feeling) when you..(the time, action when they hurt your feeling) because ( the reason that it makes you feel that way).

I am sure all the misunderstanding will be solved.