Mostly for men...when men are very busy (school, work) do they tend to have less sex drive?

Question

My boyfriend is 30 and I am 35. We are very busy now. He is extremely too, he is finishing his graduate degree, looking for jobs, and working as well. He also helps me with my school stuff since I am so stressed out with graduate school and work. He cares very much for me, picks me up from work, buys me food etc. We haev been together for almost 2 years and do not live together but spend long weekends together.

Our sex frequency is once a week iniciated by him. Some times I find myself wanting more but he is dead tired and tells me he needs to rest. I feel I have higher sex drive....Before he looked for me more, now he is more confortable perhaps. Well, I don't know, I need help. Is this normal given the circumstances? Should I worry? Yesterday he iniciated pasionate love to me and at the end I cried of hapinness as I had thought that perhaps he wasn't so much into me anymore. Am I being paranoid??

11 minutes ago

I should ad that when we have been out on Sat. night with friends he does look at beautiful girls, which annoys me a lot. I think this is why I have been feeling insecure about this. Am I supposed to connect one thing and the other?


He is very faithful and devoted to me but he does look at girls on the street. I hate that. But that is not a new behavior but an annoying one.

Answer 1

You have actually answered your own question.Your boyfriend is a very tired man and that is the reason the frquency of your sexual intimacy is not what you want it to be.You both appear to have full plates right now with school and work although it seems he has more of it.There is nothing that says he has to initiate it, or that you have to wait until the weekend to make love.You can try any or all of the following to possibly increase your frequency1)set aside love times when you put aside everything and focus on each other.While this isn't the most romantic way to be intimate(I love romance), you will have more action.2)Make love first thing in the morning before you start your respective days. This will not only start your day right but because you have rested and slept, you will be energized.3)spend more time either at his house or yours, the time you spend commutting between your respective homes would be better spent resting and making love4)consider living together---after all you've been together for almost two years;you will save not only financially but in time and effort..As to him looking at other women, this is common for men who are visual creatures and is not an indication of a lack of interest( at least in your case).If it bothers you a lot or if he is very obvious, then talk to him about it but don't get paranoid or suspicious for no reason. Your man is tired which does not mean he has a low sex drive. With a little effort, creativity, understanding, and imagination, your problem will be a thing of the past.I really admire the both of you and hope that my ideas can be of some help.I wish you both the best and good luck.

Answer 2

Don't worry! We are about the same age, and still VERY MUCH like each other! We get tired- exhausted- and sometimes it is less often than that! Doesn't mean there's a problem. Just means we need to take some time off!!! Try not to take it personal- You should initiate it more often, and he will probably be more receptive than you think!

Answer 3

Some men tend to have a less sex drive as they get older and busier. Stress is a big factor too. Biologically speaking, men easily gets weak and tired after sex unlike women who can have multiple orgasms. When they are bombarded with work loads during week days, they would long for some rest all weekend. He may feel guilty for not having sex for he's so tired and just wanted to rest instead. Fatigue contributes to this problem. He may want to have sex with his partner but his body would not agree with him. They may have the desire to have sex but the stress and fatigue factors intervene. Do not be paranoid yet. Next time, you may want to try to initiate sex.

Answer 4

Just talk to him. You arent going to figure out what is wrong if you don't talk. It does sound like he is busy. My husband is 30 and doesn't have a high sex drive anymore. We average once a week as well. I am going thru my sexual peak so I want it more and he is getting older and getting out of his. I have come to realize that sex isn't everything. It is awesome when we do have it, but we are happy and in love and that is all that matters. As far as the girl watching thing, I'd say its normal, but if he is very blatant about his girl gawking, talk to him later and let him know it bothers you.

Answer 5

Stress can lower a man's sex drive. It sounds like he's working a lot, and is probably feeling the pressure of every thing that he needs to do. Both of you may need to try and relax a little bit, and maybe hook up on another night during the week sometime, if that's possible.

Answer 6

my boyfriend is 38 and I'm 22. he works 7 days a week sun up to sun down and i wish he would be a little more tired. he wont let me get in the bed before he jumps on me. his sex drive is not slowed down at all. but you shouldn't worry. work and school can take a toll on a family and the sex drive. just try and spice things up. go to the bookstore and by a book on positions and fun things you can do with your partner

Answer 7

Both men and women have less when theyre worn out tired. Common sense would dictate that. And dont even act like you dont look at guys. You just hide it better. Is that ok or do you just sugar coat it and spin it to make it seem like thats not what youre really doing?

Answer 8

no u souldn't worry it is just something all of us guys go through once in a while so it'll be kool with him later he'll want sex trust me.

Answer 9

he could be tired definately
but if he likes you and is attracted to you, he will want sex. bottom line.