How do I get my 3 year old to go to bed without an argument every night?

Answer 1

According to children psychology, as well as my experience with an 8-year-old daughter, children learn habits based on classical conditioning (positive vs. negative reinforcement). Although negative reinforcement works better at deterring a child from bad behavior immediately, the best way to foster good habits early is to use positive reinforcement (reward).

Since toddler's language skills are limited, with their ONLY BASIC KNOWLEDGE OF CAUSE AND EFFECT that if "I do A, then B happens," the first MOST IMMEDIATE EFFECTIVE way to positively reinfore a specific behavior is to CLAP YOUR HANDS (or DANCE, or shout "Wahoo!! Yippy!!! Yay!!!!" or do some EXAGGERATED POSITIVE GESTURE) for EVERY time he/she does something RIGHT. This not only applies to setting a bedtime but also to ANY and EVERY good behavior you want to instill in him/her.

If you argue back at your child, or have any major negative reactions, for not going to bed at your desired time every night, try using something positive (NOT CANDY after 3 p.m., for this makes them too hyper well into bedtime) to bring his/her POSITIVE ASSOCIATION with bedtime. Toddlers value parents time and attention as the ultimate reward. So if you do something with them to give your time and attention at bedtime, such as singing to them, verbally tell them stories, LET THEM tell YOU a bedtime story, or read a story, they will get the IDEA that "hey, mommy/daddy really values this bedtime activity (sleeping)."

If they put up a fight, then react in a NONCHALANT, boring manner, or don't react AT ALL, instead, thereby giving the message that you DON'T value this negative behavior.

THEN you can start giving him/her "choices" as a way of teaching responsibility for their own decisions. Give YOUR choice A or YOUR choice B or YOUR choice C, etc. This will make him/her THINK they're "in control" and make the decisions accordingly. If they choose to stay up a bit late, WAKE THEM up at the SAME TIME as other mornings. Spark their curiousity enough by playing with you 'til the usual "nap time." But DON'T allow LATER NAPS (after 3 p.m.) if they CHOSE to skip naptime. By night, they will fall asleep accordingly.

After working on this positive reinforcement for a few weeks, let your child OBSERVE how you REACT NEGATIVELY in a gentle manner, such as a STERN LOOK in your eyes or a firm "No." Then he/she will have enough negative association to your negative expressions to know, for future reference, what behavior(s) you DISAPPROVE of. This also saves you ALL future trouble of yelling and screaming and spanking your child in public (restaurant, grocery store, etc.).

Hope this helps.

Answer 2

It could be several different things. You will probably have to go through a process of elimination. If she is afraid, you need to find out the source of her fear and make her feel safe. Even though she may be a drama queen, it doesn't mean that her fears aren't real, is just means that she expresses them more dramatically. Another possibility is her diet. I know that sounds strange, but my daughter would never go to bed without crying and having all kinds of problems. She would wake in the middle of the night crying and couldn't stop until we drove her around. At four, she was having tantrums, etc. I was frustrated until someone suggested a book by Adel Davis. While it is old now and extreme on somethings, basically the things she says in there are all the things they are now finding out causes problems. Anyway, I decided to cut out all refined foods like white flour and sugar, artificial flavors and colors, or preservatives, and no hydrogenated oils. Within one week she was like a different person. For the first time since she was born, she went to bed at 8:30 at night without being asked and has been like that ever since. She calmed down and the tantrums stopped. I hope that helps. Like I said, it will be a process of elimination. Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't know how you get him or her ready for bed , but you at least need to let them know about a 1/2 hour ahead of time that bedtime is soon. Just don't grab the kid out of the blue and say it's bedtime.
Also you do not argue with a 3 year old . You can explain why it's bedtime but to argue? You are the parent and your child has to learn that what you say goes. It is not a debate.
I know that three year olds always ask why and you can explain why. Three years is a great age, enjoy.

Answer 4

Have a routine.

Stick to it.

It should look like this: (times can vary)

6:00-6:30: Dinner

6:30-7:00: Play with mom and/or dad

7:00:7:30: Calming bath time

7:30-8:00: Reading, snuggling

8:00: In bed, lights off.

It will take a week or two of the same thing, repeating this routine but he'll get it if you stick to it!

Answer 5

Most important is kids need regular routine especially at bedtime.. Secondly bed time should be a place of pleasure. My mother always said to us that it best to get the kids out as much as possible so they get plenty of fresh air and excercise then they will be glad to go to bed. I always made my priorties taking out the kids till they were worn out then home for supper and a calm down before bed and i found that they mostly fell asleep pretty quickly, expecially if they had nice thoughts to dream about.i.e. the happy day they had spent outside with me and the excitment of what we would all be doing tomorrow. Come rain or shine there was always somewhere to go provided everyone was appropriately dressed (for example we spent hours walking along the country lanes or the promenade in the rain and the rain makes everything look so much better especially the sea it always looks better in the rain). Try it sometime. Should the weather be extremely bad which was very rare then we all stayed in and tired ourselves out working in the house.before having a picnic feast on the kitchen floor. For this we all sat in a circle on the floor and had a lovely picnic feast. And even toddlers can help with the work. Soon as they can toddle they are big enough to put things away and should be made part of the team. And last but not least mother usually tired herself out organising the kids whilst we were out or at home working. LIFE SHOULD BE FUN FOR ALL.

Answer 6

Toddlers are creatures of habit and routine.

So set up a bedtime routine. First with bath and maybe a gentle massage.
Allow him to select bed time story books.
Read to him for 15 mins him and then tuck him in to bed.
If he starts to talk tell him it is night night time.

Gradually move yourself away and out of the room.

You may have to experiment . First 2-3 days by his bed. Second 2-3 days by the door. and so forth down the hallway and that really helped.

This may seems to be a lot but it will really helped out!!!!
Good Luck because I know how crazy it is!!!

Sometimes we just need to understand from their point of view as they cannot fully express themselves.
There are useful information to understand and how to deal with other similar situations

Answer 7

Take time to tuck them into bed and read them a story that is a nice story. Tell them it is time to sleep and turn off the light and close the door. Make sure the rest of the house is quiet enough so the little one will not be startled or try to see what is going on. I think you can tell which people who answered actually have your best interest in mind. Life it going at a fast pace even for children. Take the time to get your child to sleep, without drugs or course, so they have a chance at a good life. Love them as I am sure you do. Good Luck!

Answer 8

first, you can develop a routine.. in our house, we have a 2/1 year old, and my mom and dad begin by us all sitting down for dinner, then she gets a bath, we brush her teeth, and then she gets to be sung to an/or have a book read to her.

Develop a routine- that is the best way. it may take a couple nights, but if you want, you can say something like "we're goig to bed in TEN minutes, okay?" and make sure they hear you.

If she/he argues after this whole thing "We can talk about it in the morning. Goodnight" and leave the room (assuming the child is in bed)

Answer 9

You just put the child in bed, read a short story, give a kiss, and say goodnight.

A 3 year old should not be arguing with you. Can you imagine what she/he will be doing at 5?

Answer 10

GWt into a routine with him. Start off by after dinner winding him down cause 3 year odls can be wild then give him like a bath nad then read him a story, then bed. Do that every night and he should start to get into the routine.

Answer 11

It will be hard, but you are the parent, and I promise you, your child will NOT hate you. What you need to do is say " little tommy, it is 8:00 and its bed time, why dont you go pick out a book and hop in bed and I will read the book to you" and if he or she argues or says no then you walk up to him/her and you get down on your knees at their level, look them in the eyes, and say "I was not asking you to go to bed, I am telling you to go get a book and get in the bed, I am right behind you and I am going to tuck you in and read you a story, now go please." and if they still argue, then you easily pick him or her up, carry them to the bed, put them in the bed (even he he's screaming) and you say, "now you have to go to bed and it's ok if you cry, because I know you are sad, but you can not argue with mommy, I love you, good night. Then you leave the room and close or slightly pull to the door. If he gets up, you put him back in the bed, you say, "you are not allowed to get up again, if you do, there will be no t/v (or something he likes to do or play with) tomorrow, you leave the room again, and each time you just take him back and keep putting him in bed, kissing him, and leaving the room, he will finally fall asleep, it may take several times, but just let him know you are the adult, not him. It will be hard because if he's like my daughter was he he will cry for about an hour and you just have to keep on putting them back and leaving the room, let them know that you are in charge, not them. It will work, it will be hard but don't give in.