spanking my kids?

Question

i have three kids tyson, 6 hayden, 4 and ella, 2 1/2. my husband jay, a pastor and i use spanking as are primary form of discipline, i know i asked a similar question regarding hayden but often my children say when you spank me it doesnt hurt, what should i do?
do any of you use corner time when you spank them?
bare bottom/ or not?
how many swats?
what do you use?
do any of you use spanking in your relationships?

Answer 1

Mine do go in the corner, but not after a spanking. That usually comes before we use spanking. If spanking it is, always bare bottom, and only use your hand, don't count swats, you know as a mom if you got your point across.

Answer 2

If you choose to use spankings as punishment (and I hope you don't really mean as a "primary" form of discipline to be used for any and all transgressions, but only for serious misconduct) the point is to make them memorable. A quick swat on the butt may (or may not) catch the child's attention, but that is not the kind of disciplinary spanking you and your husband are talking about. To make it memorable, you don't have to give dozens of swats or use a belt (much too harsh on kids). But: announce that there will be a spanking well in advance. Let the child stand in the corner for a few minutes before the spanking starts. Tell the child why he or she will be spanked. Make the child repeat why he/she is going to be punished. Take down the pants or lift the skirt (bare-bottom is a matter of choice but I wouldn't do it). Spank hard, but not more spanks than twice the child's age (you may have to use a paddle as your children get older, or when they say "it doesn't hurt"). Tell the child again why he/she has been punished, and make them apologize, then formally forgive them and warn them that the next time they will be punished harder.
Good luck!

Answer 3

This is such a controversial subject...and touchy mind you. Don't let any of these "no spankers" deter your from your method of discipline. However, I do not think that spankings should be the primary form of discipline. I see kids that get spankings, and they are more mindful of their parents, than kids that don't get spanked. It's hard when the kids are young, because it's almost like nothing gets to them. Not even spankings. I have a 5 year old, and nothing we do seems to work. He is NOT, by any means, "afraid" of us. Anyway, we use timeout, in the middle of the kitchen, in a chair. He gets SO bored out of his mind. Also, I would recommend sending your kid to timeout immediately when something happens (as long as your child is aware that what s/he did was bad) rather than giving them a chance. We have used a belt (softly) on 2 occassions...2 or 3 swats. Other times, we'll use our hand on his bottom. One time, it has been bare bottom cause he laughed and said it didn't hurt. We also take away things like his video games, x-mas gifts (for now), and give him early bed time.

Answer 4

My husband and I have 3 kids as well Malachi 4 1/2, Jordyn 2 1/2, and Ryan 7 months and a daughter on the way Ella due April 1st. We rarely use spanking as a method and it's never much of one. The only time our oldest boys get spanked is when they hit each other or hit or kick me or my husband. I havent had to pop Ryan for anything yet, he doesn't do much of anything. I make my oldest two boys sit in time out, in a chair where they cant play with anything, talk or see the tv. The best part of the time out that works the best, way better than spanking is if their foot touches the floor time starts over, if they talk time starts over. They hate it! You should try that

Answer 5

When you use a form of punishment like spanking too often the kids get an 'immunity' to it, it doesn't effect them as much and won't make as much of an impact for the more serious infractions.

You and your husband should sit down and figure out the least to the worst infractions and decide what punishment is suitable for each level. You also have to remember that the punishment for the 2 yo should not be the same as for the 6 yo. That each child is different and reacts to punishment differently.

I am not against spanking, but believes it should be used in appropriate circumstances. Only the parent knows that circumstance with each child.

Answer 6

I am 56 and a Christian.I was spanked as a child and I spanked my kids.I should have gontton more spankings then I did and I love my Mom for caring for me enough to spank me.Those who don't believe in it need to look at the world today and then how it use to be 20 years ago when children knew what was coming if they missbehaved.Spared the rod spoil the child.We have children now that all so spoiled they think everything is suppose to be thiers it doesn't matter if they earned it or not.
First of all don't spank for everything they do,only in extreme things.Don't threaten them with a spanking unless you 100 per cent carry it thru.Don't spank out of anger talk to the child and tell them why they are getting spanked.If you tell them in Church if they don't listen they will get spanked when they get home and when you get home he turns into an angel do carry out the spanking remind him why you are doing it.If he says it doesn't hurt that is only to get back at you.Just very calmly walk out of the room and don't say a word.Don't ever get anger up or break a childs spirit

Answer 7

You can use timeout as a form of punishment, and reserve spanking when this doesn't work. A swat on the backside, doesn't injure the child, and is usually enough to get his or her attention. However if you use spanking as the only form of punishment, it will be come meaningless in time, as the children will know that even for minor transgressions they will be spanked.

Answer 8

All these people who say spanking is so bad.
Think back, folks, to the 'good old days', when we all got whipped for being bad. It taught us to respect our elders, heck, I even got whooped by a neighbor, got home and got whooped again!!!
No, it did not teach me to be sneaky, I was not brought up like that.
When they took spanking out of the schools, kids started getting worse and worse.
I never heard of a kid taking a gun to school when I was in school... and they were sure available... parents did not have to lock things up like they do now.
There were no gangs, at least not where I was.
I spanked my kids, hell yes, I did. They grew up to be respectable, responsible adults.
I never did the bare bottom thing, that is bordering on abuse.
A swat or two was enough. With my hand.
Let the punishment fit the crime and no double jeopardy were my 2 rules.
If one was bad at the store, guess what... you don't go to the store next time. And stick to it, don't wimp out and give in, it doesn't mean anything if you don't carry through.
Two punishments (spanking and corner) is too much for one infraction.

Answer 9

I reserve spanking for serious offenses and I use other tactics for less serious things. i.e taking away favorite toys, not allowing children to play with friends, watch fave show etc. I spank for thing like running to the road, putting things in light sockets, and those things don't happen anymore because they know it is bad, I accompany all spankings with a lecture and time in their rooms. I am a big fan of lectures cause kids hate them, my oldest begs me to just spank her so I will shut up. I will go on and on until they are so sick of listening to me. lol. I would say to make spanking more effective you must only use it for big things, not little things that happen through out the day.

Answer 10

It hurts, believe me. There's no reason to spank them harder or anything, that can just end up causing you to get out of control.

If you spank for everything they do all of the time, it becomes ineffective. They become immune to it. For spanking to work, it has to be used as rarely as possible. Anything else, you can give time outs and ground them. I think spanking should be reserved for when everything else has been tried but failed, or if your child does something that puts their life in danger. A spanking for that will be a lot better than an injured or dead child.

Answer 11

No corner time unless it's near bed time then you send them to bed early.
Bare Bottom
For the 6 year old 12, 4 years old 8, 2 1/2 not yet.
Should use your hand or possibly a wooden spoon or hairbrush.