Questions for Christians-My husband and I disagree about porn. I say that it is wrong to watch people sinning.

Question

I feel that you are paying to watch people sin and enjoying it and that would make God angry. He says that God would understand and that it is no more of a sin than watching movies where killing is involved. I say one is real,one is fiction,and I think that it is wrong to line the pockets of pornograghers. What do you think?

Answer 1

"GOD would understand". That's got to be one of the greatest bad lines ever.

The problem with porn, please listen up ESCHEWSDEFEAT, is that IT PRODUCES exactly what you imply PRODUCES IT. Do you honestly believe that a marriage is an appropriate arena for "competition"? Does someone benefit from that?
"Get a life, your husband has one" You just took the lead on the greatest bad line competition, congrats. Life, dear man, is NOT on the screen.

Porn is a fact of life for Christians and everyone else on the planet. When it harms a relationship, it is usually because intimacy, the lifeblood of any relationship, is downgraded in favor of something...lesser.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Matt. 5:27-28> You have heard it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone that looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

These are the words of our Savior. It seems that not only are the people in the movie sinning, but those watching it probably are too. Lusting is basically sexual coveting. If you understand how coveting can be a sin, then apply it sex.

If we consider the word pornography, it is not hard to figure it out from the original Greek. Pornaroo=Evil/of the devil.
graphay= a writing So from the Greek we get pornography being an evil/satanic writing. Yes I know, it is a movie and not a writing, but they did not have DVDs during New Testament time.
See "What does the Bible say about pornography" (and related questions) at www.gotquestions.org

Answer 4

Porn is nasty in my opinion, and can be addictive. Jesus died to set us free from this sort of thing.

There is no warmth, sensuality, communication, tenderness, passion, love etc, etc that I can experience from watching people at it. I'd rather my wife any day.

Maybe your husband is curious, but let me ask you this, would your husband watch movies in which people really kill each other ?

Personally I don't get off on either.

Col 3:5 Don't be controlled by your body. Kill every desire for the wrong kind of sex. Don't be immoral or indecent or have evil thoughts.
Col 3:6 God is angry with people who disobey him by doing these things.

Php 4:8 Finally, my brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are right, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think on these things.

God bless you both

Answer 5

First off whoever said porn exploits women are full of hooey. First, these women who choose to do porn get paid handsomely for it. I'd hardly call that exploitation. The word "CHOOSE" being the operative word. Second, last I checked men are in these movies as well. Why don't women think it's exploiting men as well? Theres that ugly double standard raising its ugly head again.

I won't get into the debate of whether it is right or wrong.
A couple of things though. Do you turn your head when watching an "R" rated movie showing two people doing it? Probably not. They may not show as much, but it is obvious what they are doing. In many cases, actors have admitted to actually "doing it" for the cause of realism. Is that sinning?
How about what was mentioned before about womens romance novels. I've read parts of those books myself and guess what? Porn in words is the same thing as on the screen. You are reading about this so called sinning instead of watching it. The one difference being that one has real people, the other has imaginary people, BUT, it's not the substance of the media, it's whether you continue to read OR watch it, and why. Rarely are the couples in those books married, so there you go. I'd dare to bet that every one of these ladies here agreeing with you have read these books, and many still do. Thats a double standard. The difference. Women are stimulated mentally more than visually. Men are stimulated more visually than mentally. That is how God himself made us.
I'm not defending your husband, but I'm also not agreeing with you.

Me personally? My wife and I actually love each other and are very intimate with each other emotionally, and physically. We watch the videos of couples, married or at least in a relationship, and it really makes both of us get that much more into each other. We don't need it, but we LIKE it. For that matter the Song of Solomon turns us on. Imagine that? Even my wife says that women who are against men watching it are obviously feeling threatened to some degree and there is usually a very good reason why. That would take some self examination to figure that out.
It involves a degree of maturity to understand and feel okay with it.
Something else. I personally can't stand movies that show people getting gutted alive or blown up or shot. It may be make believe on the screen, but how many of these kids that have carried guns into school and killed their peers may have been influenced by these very type of violent movies?

Lastly.

What exactly is the sin? Is it the fornicating by unmarried people? Or the lusting after another that means you have adulterated in your heart?

How many people here are, or were actually virgins when they got married?
How many women, and men for that matter, especially the married ones, can honestly say they have NEVER looked at another person with no more than just a casual glance? Looking at them, lingering, thinking?
I'd bet NOT ONE. Is that adulterating in your heart?

If you are truly a Christian, and I don't doubt that you are, then judging someone else is not your job. Realizing that all of us, as humans, are imperfect and are sinners. Jesus washes away those sins when we accept him. Just because we accept him though, DOES NOT mean we will never sin again.
People that think like that are the very ones that try and act like perfect Christians and are practically afraid to even have sex with their spouses.

It is all about personal choice. If your husband watches it, and you don't like it for legitimate reasons, for instance he's addicted to it, he needs to respect your wishes. But if watching it in no way affects your marriage in a negative way, and he doesn't involve you with it. Then whats the harm? My guess is that you would ultimately benefit from it in the bedroom if you let it.

"The one who is without sin may cast the first stone."

Answer 6

If you cannot provide the names of the 'psychologists' who agree with you, then don't write down such a lie. Watching porn is NOT normal or healthy for NORMAL people. It is sick and depraved and completely exploits both genders for money. Interesting though, that you think it is normal. Pedofiles on TV (Most Evil, CSI Miami, Manhunter, First 48) think it is too....

Answer 7

Boxley,

I didn't see the text that is commonly quoted for this issue:

"but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Jesus was very tough when it came to lust. Before this quote he spoke of the commandment "Though shalt not commit adultery." and before that the beatitudes. Jesus challenged us to go beyond just living the commandments. He wanted us to live a life of love in loving our neighbor as ourself and God with our whole heart.

And you see in this teaching it is really about the essence on the commandments dealing with lust. It is more something that is in the heart that is harmful. So if we willfully use images to excite ourselves outside the image of our spouse, we are sinning. This is God's plan. It is certainly not love of our spouse that excites us to see those images.

You know, we can't fool God and a legalistic following of the commandments is a way of ignoring the fact that God knows and sees all. And it also ignores the commandment of love. St. Augustine once said "Love and do what you will". This is the essence of what Christ is telling us. It is not so much a legal rule to follow the commandments, but a attitude of the heart. And you might say the beatitudes are the real "attitude" of the commandments(which of course must also be adhered to as well to keep this attitude). Anything less risk loosing their whole meaning.

Answer 8

You should ask the woman who wrote in saying her husband pleases himself in front of the Internet every a.m. and when they have sex a night he only becomes half aroused. Porn is addictive for some men, and I don't believe its good for a marriage. I believe porn addiction is one of the many reasons more and more men these days need the help of drugs like "Viagra" younger and younger. The porn desensitizes them.

Answer 9

I don't like porn, my husband don't need this trash to get him exited. We used to watch it, but I let my husband know how I really felt and no more of that. I won't criticize those couples who like it. I just don't. I try my best to make my baby happy without having to watch those movies. But I guess to each it's own.

Answer 10

I'd say that you're missing the point. Some would argue that watching a movie where two unmarried actors kiss is a "sin" (hint: reference Richard Gere getting banned from India for kissing an Indian actress on TV during a pledge drive). In the case of a married couple, most married couples watch that stuff together to enhance their own relationship and sexuality. If you're going to fixate on whether people you don't know in the movie are "sinning", then the only ones missing out in the end are you and your husband. Whether OTHER people are sinning is neither my business, nor within my capacity to control. I can only control myself. Last time I checked, most Christians didn't see married sex as being a sin; so in your case, I would say you're okay.