Got my sights on a girl who is already attached, but she has only been with this bf for 6 months. There were talking about moving in together, but she wanted to hold off on that for now. We have met over an afternoon tea a couple of times, just innocently talking, and i am starting to develop an attraction to her. Truth be told, i think i would make a much better match for her that her current BF, but i am not sure how to proceed. Its not like they are married with kids, and she is dropping me vibes also, saying things like "honey i love your company" when i mentioned that maybe we should meet for tea because BF probably wouldnt approve. And if we are a great match, i dont want 6 months of timing to ruin what could be something very special for the long run.
OK to go for it or backoff? Oh yeah, its not like high school either, we are both mid 30's.
2007-12-11 08:50:42 · 16 answers · asked by Kaboom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
typo alert..obviously i meant i say that we "shouldnt" meet because of her BF
2007-12-11 08:56:24 · update #1
If you pull away and she steps closer, she is attracted to you. Whether that fact helps with what you are after, winning the girl honorably, is much harder to tell.
Usually I'd agree with the others--don't break up a happy couple because you got yourself infatuated, but you dropped in a few details that lead me to think that's not the best advice. She won't stop seeing you, and won't commit to her boyfriend and move in with him. I think she's leaving the window open for you.
If you make a move, it should be something like a half-joking, "leave him and let me be your man". But for you, the leaving is important. Don't kiss her if she hasn't broken it off with the other guy. Do not make it easier for her to two-time her boyfriend. Just get her to quit dragging her feet--she needs to do what she knows she wants to do, but she fears the pain of the breakup and is uncertain you are there for her, so she stalls. Light a fire under her.
2007-12-11 09:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by wayfaroutthere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time at tea, ask her straight out how "steady" she really is. Suggest that maybe she not be going steady at this time, then see if you can keep her attention. Maybe she just enjoys your company and wants you around in case the other guy doesn't work out. Could ask her how she feels about 2 boyfriends. If she has held off on moving in with this guy, then maybe you have a chance. Be her friend first, then see what happens. let her know you enjoy her company and wish it could be more. She needs to make the decision here.
2007-12-11 08:57:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey well you should backoff. I mean six months is a long time!!! I don't know what your thinking. But i mean she could be in love with this guy don't ruin things for her. And plus if she breaks up with him and you two are still friends and having TEA then you can ask her out, Just don't ruin it for her now!! ok bye Cherry
2007-12-11 09:05:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. I would tell her how you feel, and leave it at that. Let her make the next move. This way you're not breaking up a relationship, but if she has feelings for you she'll act on them. Good Luck!
2007-12-11 08:54:46 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOT A COUPLE OF THOUGHTS ON THIS 1...
_SINCE UR IN UR 30'S CHANCES ARE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING... SHE KNOWS U LIKE HER N SHES FLIRTING... GOOD THING RIGHT??? WRONG!!! SHE WANTS TO B WITH HER CURRENT BF BUT LIKES THE ATTENTION SHE GETS FROM U... THIS FLIRTING WILL GO ON UNREWARDED FOR U... SO MY ADVISE TO U IS... LEAVE IT ALONE... *[[HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER BF WILL B A DRAMATIC 1 DUE TO HER ATTENTION HUNGRY ATTITUDE]]
IF THATS NOT CONVINCING ENOUGH... GO FOR IT... BUT KNOW UR BOUNDERIES...
[[I STILL THINK U'LL COME OUT THE LOSING PARTY]]
2007-12-11 09:02:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds as though she may like you back but its weird she is still with her boyfriend. be careful she may be a cheater. i would hold off for now and I would not pursue anything with her until she leaves her BF.
2007-12-11 08:55:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a decent person, you stay completely OUT of the picture, until/unless they break up.
It is the honorable thing to do.
2007-12-11 09:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, back off. It's never a good idea to be the one to cause a break up.
2007-12-11 08:54:53 · answer #8 · answered by Scooter_The_Squirrels_Wifey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong if the girl is not engaged or promised to her boyfriend forever until marriage. Let your heart lead you in this situation, she could be the one for you.
2007-12-11 08:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hey i just went through this as a 16 yr old.
and it failed.
even though it seemed great.
ugh.. but hey i love your sn.
i love kaboom cereal!
[ i hope you know what im talkin about]
2007-12-11 08:56:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋