Hi. I'm Laura. I'm 18, a single teen mom, graduated high school in June w/ honors. I'd been with my boyfriend for 3 years & I loved him more than I ever thought possible, despite the fact that most days he treated me like crap. Eventually I came to realize that it wasn't right for me to let him treat me so badly. It got to the point where I stopped caring about him romantically, you know? So we broke up about a month ago, & I'm feeling better than I have in @ least a year. However, now there's this guy @ work who's been calling me these past few days. I liked him a lot, but now I realize his intentions aren't good. He thinks just because I'm a teen mommy I must be a slut. To be honest with you I lost my virginity to my baby's dad. But because of my circumstances, my coworker thought I was easy and that really hurt my feelings. Maybe no one's ever gonna love me for who I am anymore, they'll just want sex . Should I try giving my baby's daddy another chance? Any opinions are appreciated.
2007-12-11 08:17:07 · 20 answers · asked by LauraC 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow, they edited out the word s.l.u.t. Well, that's the blanked out word. Sorry if that offended anyone. I didn't know they considered that word dirty. Thanks again for your opinions...
2007-12-11 08:19:19 · update #1
If you feel better without your ex then don't give him another chance. You're still young and you will find someone out there who loves you and loves your baby and doesn't want you just because they think you're easy (which I'm sure you're not). It just takes time. Right now just focus on you and your baby. Everything will work out in the long run and you will find the right person for you. Good luck.
2007-12-11 08:24:43 · answer #1 · answered by Ali 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel reluctant to give the baby's father another chance simply because he is the father. If you must, keep your contact with him strictly about your child. You shouldn't feel like you should stay in a situation that is "crap" just because there is a child involved. To give your child a happy and safe environment should be your number one goal. Put your child first. A relationship will come in time. You can remain mutual friends with the new guy that is calling you without going any further with him. You said something that should speak to yourself - - that you felt better after you and the father broke up and you hadn't felt that way in about a year. That should speak volumes in itself. Don't make a rapid decision. Get a piece of paper and write down the pros and cons about you and the father's relationship. If the pros outway the cons, then I might suggest talking things over with him but that still does not mean you have to be romantically involved with him.
2007-12-11 08:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Sunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, this site edits the word A-S-S too although it's also an animal - LOL.
People are not going to assume you are one of them...for real. That is just what is in your head. They know you aren't a virgin but in all honestly how many 18 year olds are? Just because you had a baby? Look, don't go back to anyone who treats you badly. There ARE good guys out there -- I PROMISE you this. There are also guys out there who don't mind being with a woman with a baby. I'm serious here -- do not fall like that. You'll be sorry later.
2007-12-11 08:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. And I'm sad that the guy at work has made insulting assumptions about you.
That you graduated with honors while raising a little one says a lot about your determination. I think you deserve better than someone who will treat you badly.
Yes, I think it's possible for you to find a partner that will be good to you and to your baby. However, you aren't likely to "fall in love" with the right guy. You don't have the luxury of growing up together - you've got a little one to think about.
Figure out your list of "must have" qualities. Stuff like:
honest
willing to work and make a living
doesn't drink/smoke/do drugs
kind/gentle/compassionate
responsible and self-disciplined
...stuff like that.
Then figure out your list of "nice to have" wishes.
And be very picky based on these lists; especially the "must haves" Don't settle. Don't pick a guy just because he seems nice or seems like he has potential or treats your little one nicely. Pick one who's proud to be with you, proud to be a daddy, and grateful to have a partner.
2007-12-11 08:23:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I am 18 too and I got married when I was 15, I also graduated from high school so I know how you struggled with a baby and a man, give time to your self...focus on your baby and yourself...there are a lot of guys out there but maybe it is not the time for you to start a relationship, what you need to do is focus on your future, donlt give no one a chance but yourself. Have fun as single again and go out! Forget about guys for now!
2007-12-11 08:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Yaira C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay strong in your decision that your ex-boyfriend wasn't the right one for you. Don't lose hope about people seeing you as less than what you are. You obviously have potential to do great things--you graduated with honors, you made a really tough decision to break-up with a guy that was hurting you. You are really strong emotionally. I can't imagine the pain that you're experiencing. Stay confident in yourself and the fact that you deserve that special someone who loves you unconditionally. It may take time and lots of patience--people can be very cruel. But you totally deserve to find the right guy, and I believe that someday you will. Don't feel desperate, just stay confident in yourself and focus on building up what you have now, continuing to become that person that your perfect guy out there is searching for too. Don't spend time searching for the right one, be the right one so that when you meet, you'll be exactly the one that he too is looking for!
2007-12-11 08:26:06 · answer #6 · answered by Copenne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your child's father treats you badly then do not give him another chance. You don't want your child to grow up in that kind of environment. As for the other guy, he's not worth it either. You need to be more confident. You do not need a man to complete you. Be the best person and mother you can be and then things will fall into place for you. Let this idiot at work assume whatever he wants about you. He'll soon figure out how wrong he is if you stand your ground and show just how classy you are. Remember, you have a child to raise. You need to hold your head up high. Someday you'll meet the right person who will not just want sex from you. Hold out for that person I implore you!
2007-12-11 08:25:08 · answer #7 · answered by meltzie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey well you can give him a chance! I mean why not. The worst come the worst is that you dump him again which isn't anything that already happened. And don't take this personal or anything like that, but i mean the reason most guys think that about you is because it's sort of true, I mean you might think different than i do but i would never get pregnant or even have sex until i'm married! I mean that's why guys think your you know. So its sort of your fault. Well hope i helped but again don't take what i saide personal that was just my opinion.
2007-12-11 08:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by Cherry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a single mother at the age of 17. I am now a mother of 3 teenagers. You don't have to take what your babys father put you thru. There is someone out there that will love you the way you should be loved. Make your standards high and don't take nothing less. It does get lonely sometimes, but I would rather be lonely than have a man mistreat me. You will find that special someone.
2007-12-11 08:23:52 · answer #9 · answered by makingflower 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't let it get you down, what you've done in the past is done, just when you find the right guy really use your common sense to make sure he's the right guy, and get married. You have a child now, and whether you like it or not, you now have the responsibility to make sure he or she doesn't end up with a new daddy every year. Find someone that will make a good father, and stick with him, just don't rush it if you don't find him right away.
2007-12-11 08:24:34 · answer #10 · answered by twerth5000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋